Paradise For Ashes

Hello, my name is…Way. You can call me Way. At least that’s what I’m on right now. I’m on my way to the destination of my judgment. Just in case you’re wondering, the destination of my judgment…is Hell.

Three days ago I died from an accidental overdose. Partying and excess got the best of me while I was wallowing in self pity. One day after my death I was living in limbo between Heaven and Hell and today I was given my final judgment. To give you a better understanding of how I ended up here, let me take you back a few years while I’m sitting in this seat on this bud that is slowly but surely getting hotter. Yes, I’m in the hot seat.

The vehicle carrying Way was that of a school bus. Only 59 minutes ago did it depart from what was a sunny valley and was now in a cloudy area. Traveling down a large hill, in the far distance Way could see what looked like a red cloudy sky. The place he had just come from was the gates of Heaven. The cloudy red sky in the distance was the underworld, more commonly referred to as Hell.

How did I end up on this roadway to Hell? Way thought aloud. I guess it all started when I was just a kid. I had a typical childhood sob story: my parents weren’t as attentive as they should’ve been and I found family elsewhere. I ran around with a crew of rough necks and yeah we got in a fair share of trouble, but I gradually got it together by high school.

Though I started becoming a better person as I closed in on adulthood I still was battling my demons. I desperately chased after people who didn’t love me all so I could feel accepted and I abandoned the people who did love me. The worse part is it took me years to realize how wrong I was. By the time I realized how big of a fool I had been, years had went by and all the right opportunities that were meant for me came and went.

I hated myself. All my life so many people saw a light in me, a light of good that they said would save lives, but I didn’t care because the way I felt was who’s gonna save me? Why do I have to be the hero? Who’s gonna be my hero? Eventually I sank back into the excessive world of sex and drug abuse and took a fatal hit just days ago. I felt my spirit leave my body and saw my lifeless corpse laying on that bed at that party I was at and then immediately found myself in the limbo between Heaven and Hell. It was shaped like my childhood bedroom, I guess because that was the place where my pain all began.

When the reality of my death sank in I found myself a sad soul because I knew my parents were gonna be devastated and that my brother and sister were gonna be heartbroken. My nieces and nephews were going to miss their uncle very much. Oh God, what have I done to myself?

So during my judgement I was given an account of my life and found that definitely made some bad choices, but that wasn’t the biggest issue. We all make mistakes, it was the fact that I knew better and understood the ripple effects of what would be, but didn’t care because I was only looking out for self. I hurt a lot of people and in the process I hurt myself. The biggest thing that stuck with me was when I complained to my judge about always being the one that was gonna save someone else and not having anyone to save me, they showed me a vision in vivid detail of how I’m saving others I would have eventually found the people who were not only going to save me, but give me rest and make me better. This made my spirit weep.

Eventually I was told that I wasn’t good enough for Heaven, so I had to turn around and head the other way, now here I am. I’m riding on this bus that is getting hotter and hotter by the minute. As I continue down this hill I’m scared to death because I know this pit of fire will be the eternal resting place of my soul. I wish I had known better, I wish I had done better and that everything in my life hadn’t been measured in my selfish vanity ways. I fell out of the stewpot of earth and now I’m headed into the fire. It’s awfully hot down here and because of the ways in which I traded paradise for ashes…

It always will be…