One more shot

I can feel the energy off of the crowd, my teammates chanting my name, the sweat streaming down my face. The championship finals at my fingertips. I stand at the line and dribble the ball.

It feels familiar as a spin the ball in my hands. I look around the gym and everyone is on their feet. The mascot running down the length of the court.

I’ve been here many times. I look at my best friend lined up at the free throw line. She is smiling at me. The time clock at zero.

I have one shot to win the game. I just got a penalty shot after my lay up to the basket when the time runs out. The stakes are high, if we win we go to OFFSA on my senior year in high school. If we loose that’s it, the last time I get to play my favorite game in my hometown.

Just one shot. I’ve been here a thousand times. Shooting from the foul line. Everything rides on this shot.

All of the people in the stands are blurry, I can’t understand them. My best friend withers away and all is left is her jersey on the floor. Everyone lined up are withering away. Like a ballon being untied shrivelling up only to have there jerseys left on the court.

The distant sound of a whistle playing over and over in my eardrums. No I think to myself. Not this time.

When I wake up in a sweat looking around my room, I see medals hanging on the wall, a poster of Duran Duran on my wall. I try to get the dream out of my head. Is it really going to come to this night after night? I need to see the end. I need to feel triumphant in winning. Playoffs are in a week. I need to be in top form.

But, my dream is keeping me from feeling confident. What is my subconscious telling me? Perhaps I’m not good enough to be in the starting line up? Perhaps I should pass the ball before the buzzard goes off so I don’t have to shoot the last shot with so much pressure.

I know there will be scouts at this game. I have applied across Canada and a few teams in the US to play basketball in college for a scholarship. Anxiety now hits me like a brick wall. I need to focus, but how? This dream is really affecting my mental state.

The day turns to night, as I get dressed for bed I touch every basketball medal I have and speak out loud facing my bed. “Tonight I will shoot the dam ball. Whatever the outcome it will be!”

Three o'clock in the morning I roll once again to my side and I hear the buzzard go off, a whistle blown and all the girls on the court making their way to line up at the free throw line and I see myself at the head of the line dribbling the ball.

The familiar dream taking place right in front of me, the sounds, the smells, the pressure. One more shot.

This time I see my knees bend, the ball in front of my face, my hands on the ball. Then I can see my arms extending forward, my feet lifting off of the ground. The ball in the air, I feel myself breathing, wishing, hoping for the ball to hit the backboard and fall into the hoop.

And… It does.. I see the girls run toward me, picking me up. The crowd cheering, the mascot running towards us. I feel so excited and relieved. The best moment of my life. I shall take a mental note of what this looks like from me seeing myself go through the emotions.

In the morning I feel myself smiling as I look at the medals and the poster but for the life of me I’m not sure why. I don’t remember my dream at all, for the first time in months. But, I feel good, and confident that the game coming up will be awesome!!