One Day

July 16th, 2020

Time for my daily run. I try to go on a run daily, but have skipped most days this week. Work has been hell and I feel exhausted, more mentally than physically, but I am determined to go on my walk today. It's not too late, I tell myself, you're going to go out, do your 5K and then enjoy the sunset at the top of hill. I'm already in my running gear, because I didn't bother to get dressed for work today, or any day since the lockdown started, no one can see the bottom half on zoom call anyway, that's what I always think.

I put my running shoes and head outside, it's much warmer than what I was expecting, but I prefer it that way. Every time I try to take a different route, see a different part of the city or a different part of the countryside, keeps things refreshing that way. I've never been running at this time of the day so, I wonder, where will it be less crowded. I always follow a simple rule when it comes to decisions like this, if in doubt turn left, and keep turning left until you've done a full circle. So I took the first turn left.

I was about 3 miles in and I couldn't catch my breath, I guess I should have never skipped those days, or if I am being honest, weeks of running. I managed to find a nearby bench to catch my breath and then I saw him. I don't know what it was about his presence, but as soon as my eyes caught a glimpse of him, I felt relaxed, all my worries, all my exhaustion, all my nerves and anxiety that had cooped up in my body the last half year had just vanished.

He was walking his dog, and usually I am more transfixed by dogs but, today, my eyes kept going back to his owner. And just like that, he was gone, he turned on one of the side streets and my tranquillity went along with him. I hoped that one day I will run into him again.

July 17th, 2020

I've waited all day for this. All day, all I could think about was my run. Well, ok, I wasn't exactly thinking about my run but the possibility of running into him again. This is probably the first time I’m doing the same route as the day before but every fibre in my body hopes to see him again.

Every time I see a dog my heart would get more and more excited until I realised it wasn't him. I guess it was a long shot, I mean I never saw him before yesterday. I was about to give up and return home but then I saw him and once again I felt calm. I mustered all my courage to go and talk to him but as I got nearer I realised he was on the phone so I scurried away as fast as I could. Turns out today was not going to be the day I was going to meet him but as they say, third time's the charm, next time I see him I will talk to him.

December 19th, 2021

After spending almost 2 days in bed, I decided to brave the freezing temperatures and go for a run. My mind was scattered by all the last minute Christmas preparations. At the time I had not realised, but I had run over 10 miles just thinking of everything I had to prepare by the 25th. I was walking uphill in a very narrow footpath. It was at that time that I noticed a man heading towards my direction. He seemed familiar, yet, also a stranger. It was only after noticing his dog that I realised who he was. I had not thought about him in ages, yet his presence still had the same effect as the first time I saw him.

In the beginning I had thought about him once or twice while I was out and about but as time passed I thought of him less and less. I had forced myself in a series of dates trying to rediscover the same serenity that he made me feel yet no one managed to invoke it.

First there was James, the musician, we went on a total of three dates, over nine months. He was always too busy outside of lockdowns, yet so charming that he managed to pull me back every single time. That was until I discovered that he was married, for 18 years to be exact, and that was the end of that story.

Then there was Colin, the aspiring actor, who got his big break after our fifth date and moved to Germany. He didn’t tell me he was moving to Germany, this was something I discovered from the movie’s press release, 3 weeks into me thinking he ghosted me.

Colin was followed by David, the hotel manager, who had been furloughed at the time we were dating. David was the closest to make me feel the same calmness as he did but decided that he did not have enough time to be with me once he started working again. Not at the hotel, he quit that job shortly after he was asked to go back, but setting up his candle making business, a hobby he started during his quarantine that turned into his life passion.

And last but not least, there was Frederick, the chocolatier. To this day I am not sure who I loved more, him or the chocolate he made, but he got me through a rough patch during the winter lockdown. I guess moving in after knowing each other for 5 days for fear of spending another lockdown home alone sounded reasonable enough at the time. However, the more we lived together the farther apart we grew and as soon a restrictions were lifted, Frederick, and his chocolates, were out.

But now, newly single, I was ready to explore these feelings again, only by the time I realised who he was he was already out of sight, but now I was determined to find him and introduce myself more than ever.

December 28th, 2021

After days of trying to “accidentally” bump into him, I did ran into him. Only this time he was not walking his dog, but placing a “For Sale” sign on the lawn outside his house. Following the initial shock, and after taking a walk around the block, I decided that I should still introduce myself.

We could make long distance work, we would not be the first couple to do that, we don’t know each other but I am sure we would be a match. And then, one day we would move in together, me going to where he is moving to now or going to a new place all together.

Or maybe one day he would call me as he would realise he could not live without me and then we would run off and get married on a remote island like I always dreamed of.

But what if one day he wakes up and realises that this would not be worth the effort, what if that day is today and he sees me as this weird person who shows up at his door asking him out on a date at the same time as he put on the sign to sell his house.

At first, I hesitate, but then I remember that quote by Wayne Gretzky that “You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take” and my spirits are once again lifted and am more determined than ever to meet him. I approach the front porch, put on my bravest smile, and knock on the door.