On My Terms

John grunted as he stumbled out of the treeline into the familiar clearing, he listened back hearing the snarls approach from behind. He grimaced holding his torn wrist close to his body, he limped across the grass fresh blood dotting the ground. He looked at the red barn ahead sighing in relief, he charged forward. John’s head whipped around back at the trees seeing the zombies stumble out reaching for him, despite the distance he put between them.

John leaned on the tall rotting door pulling it open as fast as he could. He took one last look at the predators before slamming it shut, pulling the locking slate of wood in place. He slowly turned as memories flooded the room, he frowned leaning down and feeling the hay covering the floor. John quietly shuffled past the empty animal stalls, he looked around at the holes in the walls praying they stayed empty. Finally, John made it to the hay bales he’d been desperately searching for. He hissed in pain as he sat, his injuries screaming for him to stop. He reached into his back pocket taking out his wallet, opening it to a beloved photo.

-Flashback-

“Are they gone?” Lilliana whispered to her husband John, as they stared out the window. John slowly shook his head, closely clutching his shotgun to his side. “When will they-” John turned sternly holding a finger up to his lips silently shushing her.

“Mom?” Little Jack called from the doorway holding onto his blankie. Lilliana turned, baby Tilly still clutched in her arms.

“Shh, Shh honey it’s okay.” She comforted. John tuned them out staring intently at the killing machines pounding at the gate holding them away from his family’s home. The weight of their combined pressure put immeasurable damage on the fencing. It creaked ever so slightly leaning forward threatening to snap. Behind him the newborn began to scream, a piercing noise only heard for a few moments. The zombies moaned at the sounds of his children’s cries. Lilliana rushed to muffle the noise looking fearfully to the window. John’s eyes widened at the heard emerging from the treeline, he gasped counting them restlessly.

“Lil, we need to leave.” He whispered frantically, his wife whipped around.

“What?” She asked shocked. “I’m not leaving this house, it’s our home.” She insisted looking through the glass herself, she sucked in a breath going silent. “It’s fine…” She trailed off. “They’ll leave soon.” She lied.

“NO, THEY WON’T” John angrily whispered in his wife’s face. “We’ll die here!” He insisted, Lilliana, closed her eyes taking in a breath.

“We’ll hide in the cellular and be fine John.” Her husband’s mouth dropped open in shock.

“Your delusional, you’re in denial!” He screamed forgetting his volume control. Lilliana’s eyes bugged open at his tone, she held the still crying baby close. Jack peeked in the doorway his eyes fresh with tears, John got a glimpse of his boy his anger subsiding. “I’m sorry Hunny I didn’t mean it, we.” John smiled at his wife with a nod. “We can stay here.” His wife nodded in agreement satisfied. “If they get closer we have to get to the roof.” He spoke looking around his one-story home.

“Okay.” Lilliana agreed. A dreadful silence fell over the group, Lil placed the baby in her bassinet cooing over her overwhelming cuteness. John picked Jack up shushing his wide tear pooling eyes, he kissed his forehead pausing at a booming crack that broke the silence. John froze a wave of dread falling over himself, soon the groans made their way to the door banging to be let in. Lilliana stifled a scream as John looked to the back of the house, he pointed to the ceiling with Jack in his arms rushing over. He placed his son on the counter looking at the hatch leading to freedom. Lilliana placed a hand on his back,

“Go first I’ll hand you the kids,” John whispered grabbing his wife’s hips, Lilliana struggled to get up using all of her power.

“I can’t get up, you need to help me.” She frantically whispered. John nodded putting his gun down and crawling up into the daylight, he looked into the front yard at the hundreds of zombies. He frowned turning attention back down hearing the sound of broken glass, and loud familiar hissing. Lilliana hysterically grabbed Jack hoisting him up, John reached down grabbing his son seeing the zombies grow close. His wife grabbed the baby freezing for a moment.

“LIL!” John whispered reaching down Jack behind himself securely. His wife’s wide eyes snapped into attention-holding the baby straight up, John grabbed his daughter placing her in Jack’s tiny arms. He looked down grabbing for his wife as the first zombie bit down into her back, she screamed in utter agony. John lurched forward barely staying on the roof. “LILLIANA!” He howled in hysterics watching as his wife perished in front of him. From his left a zombie growled biting down on his wrist, John recoiled pulling away his blood dripping on the floor. He clutched his wounds retreating as Lilliana still yelled in pain. John sobbed lying back on the roof until the sounds stopped, he looked to the sky eyes glaring above.

“Daddy,” Jack whispered, John’s head snapped to the side, he sat up harshly still hearing the snarling below. He looked around for his gun cursing to himself. John wiped his eyes turning to his son he smiled reassuringly while looking off the roof. The widower breathed in grabbing his kids into his arms carefully, he looked around seeing a few zombies scattered, most not making it to the backyard. He lept off the roof hearing the crunch of his now sprained ankle, he closed his lips tight hushing his scream. He stood straight limply running as fast as he could into the woods towards the road. He ran into the forest, weaving through the trees in blinding pain. He absently minded stopped at the road looking at the car skitting to a halt in front of him.

“Are you okay?” The driver asked stepping out with his gun drawn, John shook his head out of breath. “Okay okay calm down.” He spoke motioning to his partner. His friend got out drawing his own pistol.

“My wife is dead, please my kids.” John gasped, Jack, clinging desperately to his father. The man nodded stepping forward.

“Are you bit?” The passenger spoke coldly, John nodded struggling to show them his wrist. “The kids?” He spoke again, John shook his head violently.

“No, they’re fine.” He insisted the two men stepped forward.

“We can take them with us, we’re heading to a survivors shelter.” The driver spoke, John sobbed fresh tears falling.

“Please.” He cried holding them out.

“NO!” Jack cried as the unfamiliar man grabbed him. The passenger took the two immediately placing them in the backseat despite their protests. “DADDY!” Jack screamed John shuttered at the tone of his pleading voice.

“It’s okay Jack I love you.” He replied as the driver coughed.

“Boy’s Jack, what’s the baby’s name?” He asked. John looked over sadly.

“Jack’s just turned four and Tilly’s a month.” He smiled at the thought of them, the passenger stomped back to his side of the car

“We have to get going, want me to shoot you?” He asked grimly. John shook his head backing up.

“No I know what to do, thank you.” He nodded backing into the woods as the men began to drive away. He watched as the car departed hobbling away into the endless abyss.

-End Flashback-

John clutched the picture reaching into his front pocket pulling out a box of matches. He frowned at the banging outside his shaking hands beginning to fumble. He kissed the photograph putting it on his forehead.

“I’m so sorry my loves.” He whispered, John, pulled out a match lighting it. He looked into the flames as the groaning and scratching gained. “On my terms.” He frowned. “COME ON GET IN HERE,” John screamed over and over until his voice was raw. He smiled as the barn doors burst open he flicked the match onto the awaiting hay watching the red grow ever closer. The barn engulfed itself in a moment the old dry wood burning to a crisp. John listened to the burning zombies smiling letting the blackness take him.