🎤Ohhhhargghhhh, That Bush is on Fire!

The man crept closer, sandals shuffling in the dirt. Nerves made him tug on his beard. Crackling flames were reflected in his dinner-plate-sized eyes. "Stop gawking," the bush snapped.

The man stalled, and took a step back. His gaping jaw gave him a slightly gormless look, and his eyes got so wide they threatened to swallow his whole face.

Was it the bush speaking, or was it the flame?

Either way, the shrub continued to burn. The heat was so intense that, truthfully, the twigs and leaves should already be the past tense, little more than a pile of ash. And yet, they appeared to be whole and healthy, despite the raging fire that should be consuming them.

All the man could smell was his own singed nostril hairs. If he ventured any closer, his beard may be at risk.

Indignation was writ plain in each fiery flicker. If it had a nose, it would have snorted.

“Did nobody teach you it's rude to stare?"

The man had the grace to look sheepish, his retort a humble mumble.

"Well... You are on fire..."

"Pffft! You act like you’ve never seen a talking shrubbery before.” “I... I haven’t,” came the awed reply.

"Really? Oh. Well. That's just as well because I need a word with you, sonny. And I'm guessing a so-called ordinary bush - stop sniggering - wouldn't have even drawn a second glance from you, would it?"

The man waggled his head in the negative. "Figures..." At this the flames flared, precisely as if the thing were sighing. "Do you even appreciate this nature I've left all over the place? What does a deity have to do to get your attention? Enter a shrubbery and burst into flame?” "Ummm..." "Anyway," the bush sounded brisk. "I am literally the voice of God. Now, listen up, kid. We've got a nation to free."

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Thank you for reading!

This is, of course, a re-telling of the Bible story about the burning bush. (I've got a few of these up my sleeve, so stick around for that.) I thought, okay, a burning bush that talks... But what would be really impressive is if it was sarcastic.

Not sure I nailed the sarcasm, but we have got a decent level of snark, I feel.

The title is a blatant rip-off of Kings of Leon, and if you didn't sing it, we can't be friends.

Today, I'm grateful for a roof over my head.

See you tomorrow!