Not Quite Neutral Ground

The Montello Zoo & Aquarium, established by the Montello family, was state of the art, with all of the newest exhibits and equipment. It was large, and clean, and bright, and cheery. Well, it wasn’t particularly bright or cheery at the moment, as it was outside of normal operating hours, but that didn’t prevent two people from meeting up inside. They approached each other warily on a catwalk above a large exhibit full of exotic ocean creatures. The catwalk was only accessible to employees, which neither of them were, but neither of them particularly cared about that fact. One of them was six foot one, and white with a deep tan. He wore a leather duster, blue jeans, a black button down shirt, cowboy boots, and a cowboy hat, because he had decided that he enjoyed the old west aesthetic, and by God he was going to lean into it. The other man was a black man standing at five foot nine, with a shaved head, wearing a three piece silver suit, with a silver tie and a black shirt, and mirrored sunglasses.

The two approached each other from opposite ends of the catwalk, and stopped with about ten feet of space in between them. “I am glad that you were willing to meet me here, on neutral ground” the well dressed man called out to the cowboy in a deep, booming voice. The cowboy let out a single humorless laugh, and leaned against the railing, staring into the water. “Did you come alone?”

“As per our agreement” responded the cowboy.

“So, I presume you are wondering why I invited you here, Mordak” stated the well dressed man.

Mordak smirked, still staring out into the water, not facing the man. “How many people have you tried this on before you actually found me? It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’ve wanted a rematch for several millennia.”

“You knew that I was a Sea Warden?” asked the well dressed man. Mordak nodded. “The whole time you knew that it was a trap and not held on neutral ground. You are either incredibly overconfident, or incredibly stupid. As your people say, I handed your ass to you back then, and I shall do so again, but I will not make the mistake of leaving you alive this time.” As he spoke, the well dressed man’s skin and clothing fell away into seawater, revealing black and dark green and blue scales, the color of the deep ocean, and a froglike mouth that stretched almost from one pointed ear to the other, and covered 5 rows of sharp, jagged teeth. Once his disguise had melted off, it was also apparent that he had large, bulbous, pure black eyes, and long, sharp claws at the end of his fingers.

“I will admit, you’re getting better at your human disguise” commented Mordak. “The mouth was about human sized with only one noticeable row of teeth that were of the proper shape, and the skin was actually a human color this time. I take it you can’t change your eye color?”

“I have difficulty manifesting the whites of the eyes in a believable manner. Let me remind you why one does not go against one of the Sea Wardens in their own domain” stated the Sea Warden. He held his hand out and seawater flew up from the exhibit below them, coalescing in his hand into a staff the same color as his scales. At the same time, a bubble of water containing a box jellyfish whipped out of the exhibit and struck Mordak, engulfing his head, as the jellyfish wrapped its tentacles around his throat, following an unspoken command from the Sea Warden.

As the blow connected, Mordak vanished in a flash of light, causing the bubble and the jellyfish to continue their trajectory and splash back in the water on the other side of the catwalk. Three shots rang out, striking the Sea Warden in the back. He whipped around and saw Mordak standing behind him holding a revolver, in accordance with his old west aesthetic. “Ah, I see” stated the Sea Warden. “You created a facsimile of yourself to speak with me. Clever.”

“I knew that you would try a cheap shot like that, I wanted to try to avoid it” retorted Mordak. As he said this, he closed his left hand and a shimmering filled the air around it, manifesting a sword in his hand. “Do you want to see if my blade can pierce your scales this time?”

“Feel free, boy” taunted the Sea Warden, spreading his arms. “You may have become more skilled since our last encounter, but so have I.”

Mordak rushed at the Sea Warden, the catwalk bouncing ever so slightly under his every step. As he charged at the Sea Warden, the Sea Warden used water from the exhibit to coat the catwalk, and froze the water, creating a thin, slick layer of ice. This didn’t throw Mordak off balance, but it took enough of his concentration that he was taken by surprise when the Sea Warden yet again threw a bubble of water containing a box jellyfish at him. Mordak held out his right hand, causing the jellyfish to attempt to wrap around that arm, as Mordak used magic to throw the bubble and the jellyfish back into the water.

As Mordak was about to reach the Sea Warden, the Sea Warden leapt over the railing into the water. As he jumped, his legs fused into a single tail with several fins, specifically a vertical tail, like unto that of a fish, not horizontal like a dolphin or whale.

Mordak came to a stop, much quicker than someone on ice would have been able to, which makes sense as he used magic to unfreeze the ice under his feet, and he sighed deeply. He glanced around, but the Sea Warden was all but invisible in the water, due to his specific coloration. Mordak groaned and pulled an earpiece out of his pocket. “Hey, Bob. Could you pull up the lights in the Ocean Exhibit 3?” asked Mordak, sounding distinctly defeated.

“Mordak! Buddy! I can help with that. So, how’s it going?” said Bob, somewhat more upbeat than Mordak would have liked.

“Just shut up and do…whatever it is you do” snapped Mordak.

“Snippy for someone asking me for a favor, give me a second” responded Bob. “I take it the Sea Warden jumped into the water. Who ever would have guessed that the aquatic creature would take to the sea.”

Mordak was about to respond with something equally sarcastic, but then the overhead lights came on, as well as the lights in the exhibit, illuminating every creature inside, and changing the water color to a soft blueish green, which would stand in sharp contrast with the scales of the Sea Warden. There were a several creatures inside, but none of them looked like the Sea Warden. Mordak caught a glimpse of what might have been the Sea Warden, but it disappeared as quickly as it appeared.

“I can’t see it, recommendations?” asked Mordak.

“Not a huge surprise. Sea Wardens have been known to change the color of their scales, so it can keep its camouflage” responded Bob.

“Now you tell me. Great. So, I’ll just drop a lightning bolt in the tank, shall I? Should do a decent job clearing it out” stated Mordak.

“Do not!” said Bob, firmly. “It’ll kill everything in the tank, but Sea Wardens have an insulative slime that protects them from fire, and more importantly, lightning.”

“Ah, great, so we’re up against someone who’s functionally immortal” complained Mordak, exasperated. “Wonderful. You got any ideas on how to beat him then?”

“We? How is this we? Even if you die, I’ll still be fine” said Bob.

The catwalk shook and one corner dropped. Mordak turned and saw the Sea Warden hanging from one corner of the catwalk, disconnecting it from the wall. the Sea Warden gave a sinister smile. “That may be correct, Bob may be fine once I kill you, or I may track him down for a snack later” chuckled the Sea Warden.

“Damn, he can hear me?” Bob said, impressed. “Yeah, he’s able to hear underwater, that’d give him some quality hearing.” Then he changed to a softer voice. “You got a map of the aquarium?”

“Little busy at the moment” grunted Mordak as he leapt backwards, flying a good twenty or twenty-five feet onto the ground next to the catwalk, as half of the catwalk collapsed into the water, ripping the rest of the catwalk off the wall and into the water. “Yeah, I got one. What you got?”

“You know ‘Vaulder’s Incomplete Bestiary’?” asked Bob.

“I…skimmed it…How do you know of Vaulder? He never came to this dimension, you shouldn’t have even heard of his books, let alone read them” said Mordak, a little confused, as he used his sword to shatter a long, sharp pane of ice that the Sea Warden threw at his throat.

“Irrelevant, sorry, it’s a bit of a digression. Cliff Notes version, see if you can lure him to Exhibit 12C, it contains a fairly new fish found in the year 2142” said Bob, a little distracted. The sound of pages turning and a keyboard clacking came over the earpiece as Bob verified something.

“I can do that. I feel like you want to add something to that statement?” asked Mordak in a way that wasn’t really a question, as he fished out a map and headed towards Exhibit 12C. The Sea Warden jumped out of the exhibit he was currently in, his tail splitting back into two legs in midair, and giving chase to Mordak.

“Yeah…” said Bob slowly. “Ah, here it is. So, this particular fish has some weird biological and chemical properties. They can wick the moisture out of the air, creating an incredibly arid environment above their exhibit. It’ll feel hot and humid over their exhibit, as they try to suck the moisture out of you too, so be wary of that. Sea Wardens do best in wetter environments. If I thought you could get him into the zoo area, then I’d recommend the desert exhibits, but in a pinch 12C in the aquarium should leech most of his powers. If he doesn’t jump into the water.”

“And if he does?” hissed Mordak, just above a whisper. He was now at a full sprint, the Sea Warden half a dozen feet behind him, both of them almost at the exhibit.

“Yeah…I’d recommend not letting that happen” replied Bob, unhelpfully. “Also, try not to let the water touch you, the chemicals secreted by these fish are likely detrimental to human health.”

“Great. Wonderful.” said Mordak sarcastically as he reached a door to the catwalk above 12C and burst through it, the Sea Warden practically right on his heels. “Could you have found someplace more dangerous for me to make my last stand? I’ve heard the sun is nice this time of year!” As he reached the center of the catwalk, Mordak stopped and whipped around, raising his sword to chest height. He noticed three things, the first being that it did, in fact, feel incredibly hot and humid above this exhibit. The second was that the Sea Warden had stopped a few paces back from him, leaving some room between them. And the third point was that there was a fence coming down from the ceiling, almost reaching the railing of the catwalk. The gap was such that someone could reach through if needed, but you couldn’t squeeze through, either intentionally or accidentally.

The Sea Warden eyed Mordak for a moment. “So,” the Sea Warden boomed, “all you need to do is avoid touching the water and force me to do the same?” He pointed his staff at Mordak while, with the other hand, he tore through the fence with no difficulty. “Avoid this, boy.” With that, a mist of water lifted from the exhibit and shot towards Mordak. In response, Mordak held forward his right hand, using hydromancy to will the water to go around him, as the Sea Warden twisted through the hole he had torn in the fence, his legs once again fusing into a tail as he did so.

“Huh” said Bob, surprisingly nonreactive to the new situation. “I guess he could hear me the whole time. Probably not ideal. So that means…” the Sea Warden hit the water and Bob switched into a stereotypical radio announcer voice “that fish boy took the bait HOOK LINE AND SINKER!!” He discarded the announcer voice and went back to his normal one. “Alright, you can hit him with lightning when he comes out of the water.”

Mordak was going to point out that Bob had specifically said not to do that earlier, but decided against it when the Sea Warden leapt out of the water with all the speed he could muster and clawed his way back through the hole in the fence. The Sea Warden did not look like he was doing well. His scales were faded to a dull gray, his fingers were curled into what looked like an arthritic grip, and his tail lay limp as he sprawled there in the middle of the catwalk, breathing raggedly. Mordak conjured lightning and struck him in the chest with it for good measure, before approaching cautiously, his sword held at a low ready.

The Sea Warden let out something between a growl and a hiss. His voice was no longer deep, and now had a raspy quality to it. “I have just one question for you, how? What did you do?”

“I’m also kinda interested in that” added Mordak.

“Well now I’m torn” stated Bob. “I do like pointing out how smart I am, but it’s most fun when it’s forced on an unwilling subject that doesn’t want to hear about it. When someone actually wants to hear about my exploits it’s significantly more fun to just leave them in the dark.”

“Bob” chided Mordak.

“Fine” relented Bob, sounding somewhat petulant. Then his tone shifted into excited. “Alright, so, this exhibit contains a couple dozen species of fish, all found in an area with high geothermal activity. There were geothermal vents, and an underwater volcano, and other stuff like that. The water was hotter than usual near that, between two and three hundred degrees fahrenheit, so this exhibit is kept at this temperature. Sea Wardens and the rest of their species on the other hand, live in the deep ocean, estimated to be between one and two thousand feet below sea level, where the temperature is between thirty-seven and thirty-nine degrees fahrenheit. Vaulder, in his Incomplete Bestiary, speculated that high temperatures would not only sap a Sea Warden of its powers, but should also be able to thin the insulative slime to the point that it is no longer effective.”

Hold up, what was that?” asked Mordak. “Speculated? Should? Are you saying that you gambled with my life based on wild theories?”

“Yep. That’s the long and short of it” responded Bob. “In my defense, there isn’t actually any hard evidence on beating a Sea Warden in a one on one fight, because…well…it just doesn’t happen. If I was wrong, I was sure that you’d come up with something.”

Mordak snorted. “Great. Love the vote of confidence. So, what do we do with this guy?”

“As I’ve said before, I’m not really a part of we, I’m not there. This is on you, buddy” said Bob.

The Sea Warden looked up at Mordak in fear as he put his blade to the creature’s throat. “Please, I beg of you, show mercy” rasped the Sea Warden, holding up a still curled hand up. He still lacked the energy to stand, but he had managed to transform his tail back into legs.

Mordak laughed derisively. “Mercy? What do you know of mercy? I personally witnessed you steal an infant from his mother’s arms and eat him as his mother begged and pleaded with you. What of that? Where was your love of mercy then?”

The Sea Warden looked around frantically, searching for anything that could save him. “Jeshua! Jeshua Trocair!” blurted the Sea Warden. “Is he not your stalwart friend and protector? Does he not preach of honor and mercy and second chances? Please, b—Mordak, I yield. I will change my ways if you but give me the chance.”

Mordak sighed, defeated. “I suppose” he relented. He reached down and helped the Sea Warden to his feet. “Who am I to judge you.” Bob let out a cough over the earpiece.

“Verily” agreed the Sea Warden. “Truly, only the gods can judge us.”

“Truly” agreed Mordak. “And I judge you to be an irredeemable sadist, not worthy to so much as invoke the name of Jeshua Trocair.” With that statement, he struck the Sea Warden with his blade, beheading him cleanly, and the Sea Warden collapsed without having any chance to react. “Do you think he forgot I was a god, or did he never know in the first place?”

“I doubt it” responded Bob. “Sea Wardens are incredibly well informed. I’m guessing he was banking on you forgetting that you were a god.”

“Ridiculous! Who forgets that they’re a god?” asked Mordak.

“Most gods who aren’t born as such. That includes you, or have you forgotten Delberia Village?” said Bob.

“Okay, fuck you. Also that—that’s valid. That’s a fair point. Reasonable” responded Mordak. “So…what do we do with the body?”

“Well, I got that new gaming system you were excited about, and have a gaming session set up tonight with a friend who can help, if you want to tag along” stated Bob.

“Oh, you meeting up with Time?” asked Mordak.

“Yep” verified Bob.

“Sure, I can be at your place in ten.”