Not An Asshole, Just Unfortunate

There are simple but absolute principles found everywhere in life, if you jump off a cliff, you’ll fall, if you cut yourself, you’ll bleed… If you throw a punch at someone hard enough and have your thumb tucked inside your hand, you’ll break your thumb. A hard lesson Raz was learning at the worst time.

“God Damn it!” Raz cradled her hand close to her chest as she ducked the returning blow. If that asshole Jeremy hadn’t gone out and done some dumb shit like this, Raz wouldn’t be fighting a guy twice her size in metal armor that looked like it had been welded by a two-year-old.

No, this was a stupid situation and she saw it, but that didn’t stop it from being any less deadly.

Metal armor was one thing, she could hold her own well enough against that, the metal knuckles he was sporting? That’s a different story.

He was slow and clunky, but fuck if she wasn’t on the ropes trying to stay out of his grip.

One hand out of action, Raz stumbled back, looking around desperately for something to fight with, she spotted a dead rat, a wooden plank, some wimpy looking trash, and shards of glass.

Just perfect… Dodging wasn’t cutting it at this point, the tank was barely moving and Raz could already feel the urge to throw up. She didn’t have the time to think things through right now, and every time she stopped, Muscle Man moved in to throw another punch. If she were quicker on her feet she might be able to McGyver together some kind of contraption for this, but that wasn’t exactly her fort- Fuck!

Once again, Raz was able to get out of the way in time to not get the world’s worst concussion, but it was a narrow miss.

Her injured hand wrapped around the wooden plank as she toppled onto the ground and rolled. You’d think that the end of the world and a whole ass apocalypse would lead everyone to being a top tier fighter, but that had never been Raz’s focus. No, false intimidation and snark was how she got out of most situations, like how chinchillas pretended they were scary by peeing on things.

She brandished the glorified fence post in front of her, desperately hoping to look intimidating, her brain hyper aware of the splinters being pushed into her hand.

“Well, this’s been fun!” She said brightly, forcing a smile as the two started to circle each other, “But how about we end this like civilized people. All I want is the locket, give it back and we’ll agree to never see each other again. How’s that?”

The absolute mountain of metal and muscle shook his head, “I won it, fair and square. It’s my locket now.”

Raz never really understood the saying ‘seeing red,’ but this was really helping her understand, “Yeah? Well…” She sighed, not letting her guard down, “I get that, man, I really do, but the asshole you won it from had no right to gamble it. It wasn’t his, and that shit means a lot to me, so can’t we be civil about this?”

“You hit me first.” The accusatory tone of his voice almost had Raz pausing.

Like… He wasn’t wrong. Raz tried to be decent about this by stealing it back from him while he was sleeping, but then he basically snuck upon her, instinct got the best of her, and she punched him in the face.

“I get that!” If she was a braver person, Raz would probably drop the terrible weapon in her hands so she could pacify him, but bravery was overrated and the weapon was stopping her from having a panic attack right now, so it was staying in her injured, extremely painful hands.

The armored man took a step forward, “Sure you do. You’re in my camp. I wasn’t attacking the settlement so leave, before I make you.”

Okay, so she had options now; abandon ship and leave that damned locket behind, which meant not pissing off the mountain man, or stay strong and keep fighting and probably die… Seriously, she punched the guy with everything she had and was pretty sure she broke her thumb on his face.

A smart person would probably bail, but even as she stood there, she could practically feel her mom’s judgment… Raz wasn’t the brightest bulb in the box, but she also wasn’t one to give her mom any more reasons to haunt her than the bitter old woman already had.

“I’ll leave when I have my locket.”

This was it. Raz was going to die here and now. It was actually kind of sad that Jeremy wouldn’t get comeuppance for the shit he pulled. First, the world collapses, and now this; it really was such a wonderful life.

For just a moment, Raz considered running forward in a kamikaze maneuver that would send her out in a blaze of glory, but she was stopped by the big man sighing.

He relaxed out of his defensive stance, “Why do you want it so much? What about that crappy locket is worth dying for?” He made no other moves, simply waiting patiently for her answer.

Was this a trap? Raz watched him carefully as she switched the wood post to her other hand, barely containing the wince. Yup, something was definitely broken… Just peachy. “It was my mom’s.” Would pity work on him? “She made me promise not to lose it before she died.”

Really, she should probably ditch the stupid thing, that locket was a genuine bad luck charm at this point with how many times it’d nearly killed her.

The man contemplated her for a moment before sighing, “Come on.” He turned around to the campfire behind him, “Let me look at your hand before we lose the light.”

What?

Raz stood there for several moments, gaping like an idiot before her voice came back to her, “Excuse me?”

“You broke your hand when you punched me, right? It’s already swelling.” Oof, Raz could feel the judgment oozing off him.

For the first time since she punched him, Raz looked down, only to wince. She wasn’t a human doctor, but damn… She knew fingers shouldn’t be that shade of purple.

This was going to suck.

With a grumble, Raz dropped her wooden weapon and followed the man to his fire. Resetting this was going to be a bitch, but the stranger was right, it was better to do it while they still had the light. Not to mention, she still needed that locket.

“Got any alcohol?” She asked as she knelt. Would it be best to pull it to the left? Hmm… Setting other people’s bones was so much easier, she had a better angle and perspective.

“Huh?”

The man was blindsided, but quickly began to panic as he looked over to see Raz grabbing the top of her thumb, getting ready to pull, “Wait! No, Stop!”

Too late. The slight crunch was a good sign and even as her vision went cross-eyed from the pain, it was child’s play to guide it back into place. Thankfully, the break hadn’t been too bad, or there would’ve been a lot more to worry about.

Raz was shaking as she hunched over, her breathing ragged. She should’ve waited for something to numb the pain, but apparently, she was just a bit too impatient for nice crap like that.

The pain was intense and for a moment, the world faded, swallowed up by buzzing that pushed her closer to passing out as she shuddered. It might as well be hell, but before Raz could give up and pray for death, she began to pull out of it. When Raz was finally aware of her surroundings again, the man was slumped over on his side, out cold.

In the pain induced haze, Raz was confused before it clicked and she chuckled.

There’d been a lot of people like him in veterinary school, people who fainted when they first saw blood or a really bad injury. It cracked Raz up more than anything, especially with the contradiction of a giant man who looked like he ate idiots like her for breakfast slumped over on his side, pale as a bone.

Seriously, how could someone be sensitive to injuries still after all the rioting and bloodshed that filled the last few months?

The irony of it kept up her spirits (and her brain away from the pain) as she found the bottle of whisky and some cloth.

Oh yeah, just what the doctor ordered.

A shot or five later, Raz had her thumb in a messy splint and was in a much better mood as she headed back towards her camp, her plan being to find some pain killers and her bed. Of course, she’d made sure the poor guy wouldn’t die, she was even nice enough to leave a note and all the supplies she had on her.

Generous? yeah, but the poor guy had no idea he’d won stolen (and probably cursed) property, it was the least she could do.

All this over a stupid locket...

It really was a pretty locket, silver and gold woven together with three diamonds at the top. Worth a literal fortune and the bane of Raz’s existence. A reminder of a past she didn’t want and a mother who didn’t want her, so not her favorite thing… But it was her responsibility to carry.

Her mom definitely made that clear right before Raz had pulled the trigger.

What a stupid life.