No Signal

The dizziness was overwhelming for a long moment. Opening his eyes did not help because he was as confused by what he was seeing.

Somehow he felt he should see home, familiar objects that he barely paid attention to because of habit, not feel a rumble of speed under him, not see what looked like the inside of a ... train?

Finally puzzlement cleared the cobwebs still holding him down and Ben sat up, overcome by dread.

One question repeated in his mind like a litany, making his heart beat faster with each passing second and lack of obvious answer.

Where the hell was he?

He blinked and got on one knee, trying to steady his body as well as his mind.

He had not drank a single drop of alcohol in 11 years, not since quitting the military for good. So this lost time could not be explained by an alcohol-induced trance... So what was it?

Was he still dreaming? This felt real, but he had had some pretty vivid dreams in his younger years...

What was the last thing he remembered? Ben raked his mind, trying to clear the white noise, the office clutter, ' Call Millie, ' ' Get your dry cleaner ', ' Finish the contract with the Johnsons ' , all useless thoughts that did not lead him to a solid answer.

" What am I doing here? "

Sometimes hearing his own voice calmed his nerves, but his voice was so groggy and weak he felt more alarmed by his state of being than reassured that his capacities were still intact.

As a Navy Seal he had been confronted to many life-endangering situations but there had always been briefings, a sense of purpose, a clear-cut enemy to subdue and now he was confronted to blankness only.

The sounds were clear and sharp, that indicated something other than a dream. So he was going to play along with it now, accept this as real and see where that would lead him.

He was in a passenger train, going very fast, as far as he could judge by what he felt.

He had woken up in a private cabin... if this was a normal passenger train, there would be others, train comps, ticket masters, passengers, engineers, the whole works...

He wished despite himself that he had a weapon of some kind to feel more in charge but he could not see anything that could come in handy.

So he slid open the door and stepped into the cramped hallway, ready for anything.

It was night outside and the speed seemed dizzying; he wasn't sure if the impression came from his brain or the train's actual speed. He was not getting a good vibe from the atmosphere in the train, it seemed so deserted, a ghost train... Was he the only one aboard?

The moment this thought came to his mind he heard a moan coming from one of the cabin: he rushed inside, expecting anything... but not a groggy-looking pregnant woman who whimpered in fear when she saw him.

" Sorry, I, I am, so sorry, are you all right? " Ben said, putting his hands at mid-level, trying not to look too aggressive or scary.

" Oh god, who are you? What happened? Where am I? "

" You don't know? You don't remember?" Ben put to her . He wasn't sure he was surprised. It seemed to make perfect sense. Why would she remember when he didn't?

" I was going to the doctor, to Dr Greggs, for my checkup, she said, sniffling. What's going on? I might have pre-eclampsia, I need to see him as soon as possible! "

" You're going to be okay," Ben said automatically, not wanting her to panic. She looked at least 7 months pregnant, maybe more, and he had enough problems to deal with right now. The last thing he wanted to hear was a catastrophic: My water just broke.

" Yeah you know that, do you? she retorted sarcastically. Where are we anyway? And by the way, who are you? "

" I'm, uh, Ben, " he answered, not quite sure what else to say.

" Seline, " she sighed, managing to get up, warning him off when he tried to help.

He understood her perfectly: they were total strangers in a strange place and that did not lead to immediate confidence.

" I'm really thirsty... this train have toilets, by the way? "

Ben hadn't even looked, more preoccupied by the predicament he was thrust in than basic necessities.

Everything was functional, the taps, the toilets, all in good order and after about 15 useless minutes, Seline was ready to start moving forward.

They went out of the cabin and were immediately confronted to another group of people that nearly made them have heart attacks.

After the initial reaction of defense, they calmed down and evaluated each other. The other group was composed of three people, one man, two women, the man in his sixties; the women were a teenager and a grandma, and there seemed to be no correlation between them.

But what Ben expect? A clear-cut answer in this mess?

" Hey what's going on? " the man asked.

" Who are you? " Seline questioned.

" I was going to ask you that question, " the grandma said curtly.

" We woke up, here, no reason! the teenager complained. No wallet, my phone reads no bar, no wifi, no date, nothing! I had it fully charged before, I know it! "

" I didn't see anyone else but us," Seline said while Ben still tried to evaluate the group.

Why were they in this train, together?

" All I know is I am on a train, I have no purse, no ID, no wallet, no ticket, so how did I get in? Who let me in? " the grandma asked.

Ben checked his own pocket, finding some matches, a stick of gum, no wallet, no keys, no ticket.

This was simply mind-boggling.

" Well I don't like it, " the teenager said.

"What is there to like? " the sixtyish man said gruffly.

" Seline, " Seline said, extending her hand towards the 'leader' of the second group.

" Yeah let's stay civilized and all, he chuckled. I'm Chester, this is Vera, and Deanna. Nice to meet you all. " Chester started chuckling the second after because politeness seemed absurd in their situation.

" Ben, " he said after some coaxing from Seline.

" Big happy happy happy family here, " Chester scoffed.

" Anyone know where here is? Seline asked. I'm supposed to get to the doctor asap. "

" ASAP as in? " Chester looked mortified.

" As in an appointment, Seline grunted, not appreciating the humor. Where is everyone else? I don't have my purse either, not even my phone. "

" Phones don't work, Deanna said in despair. We are completely alone."

" Then we need to get to the engineer, see what's going on, right? " Seline put to them.

" Sure, Chester intervened. That's what we were doing before falling on the two of you. "

Difficult to feel at ease in such a ragtag group, Ben took the lead in the cramped hallway, wanting to get to the locomotive and hopefully find some answers.

The women were talking too loudly, trying to detail their belongings and what was missing... as though this was just a normal mishap like missing baggage at the airport checkout.

But it was more than that, he was sure of it.

As they got nearer, they heard some grunts of efforts and metallic scrapings. After freezing for a short moment, Ben ran forward at full speed even with Seline telling him to be careful. This was it, maybe an answer... but all he found was a bedraggled duo, two people, banging on the closed door that led to the front of the train and the control room.

He startled them out of bounds and the man working on the door dropped the axe he was holding, looking guilty more than anything else.

" What are you doing? Who are you? " Ben demanded.

" Who are you, man? We woke up here on this train, no one around, no phone working, not one of us knowing how we got here, no wallet, no cash, nothing! Do you know what's going on? Who are you?!"

" Ben," he answered a bit appeasingly, as they had a weapon and he had nothing. Why hadn't he thought of raiding an emergency fire hazard cache?

" Wow useful to know you're Ben, " the woman in the other group snorted.

" I woke up up half an hour ago maybe, Ben admitted. We were trying to get to the control room, find the engineer, see what's going on. "

" We? " the man asked, picking up on the incongruity.

" We're seven, total, it seems, and we don't remember how come we're here, " Ben said, unwinding a little bit.

They were not a threat, just confused and scared as he was.

And that was not a good thing.

" Seven? That makes us a whopping group on a train that can carry what? 300 people? Lucky us, " one of the men grunted.

" Can you open it? " Ben queried. Sarcasm would get them nowhere, that much was certain.

" Trying but it's jammed tight, nothing is working, " the man with the axe said.

" Let me try, " Ben suggested, extending a hand for the axe.

How much trust did strangers in strange trains have for each other? Ben knew he never would have given up the weapon but for most, it meant added responsibilities that they didn't want.

Trust had nothing to do with it, only laziness and complacency.

Within seconds, the duo had left him at the door, looking at his attempts with some inevitable criticism, as thought they could and would do better.

Ben' group joined up and there was a short round of presentations, completely useless, but that seemed to calm the nerves of most of the group. The man was called Chuck, and the woman Polly, they also had no clue why they were on the train.

Group dynamics: Followers and Leaders and Outsiders, all revolving around one another. But all he wanted was to figure out the mess he had landed in, and to hell with everyone else.

Brute force wouldn't help, he had to jerry rig the door to open by provoking a short. Luckily he had enough experience left from his Seal days that this did not seem like an insurmountable task.

While the group argued over trifles, he started sweating after managing to crack open the control panel and exposing circuitry. Trying to figure out how to open the reluctant door without causing a short-circuit or electrocuting himself was proving more challenging than he had anticipated.

" You know what you're doing? " Seline asked skeptically, souning so much like his ex-wife that he felt like grinding his teeth.

" Not really so I would back off if I was you, " he countered acidly.

" Well calm down a bit, we are not going anywhere, apparently. " she cautioned.

" The last thing we need right now is to sit back back and wait for help. Help isn't coming. " he gritted.

"What do you mean help isn't coming?" the grandma, Vera, demanded.

Apparently the small talk was over and his attempts were everyone's entertainment. Which only made him feel more uncomfortable.

People and their expectations had a tendency to put him on edge... and that had been the source of his demise. Leaving the Seals, trying to adapt to civilian life, the pressure... his marriage falling apart, the drinking... it was a miracle he had kept his head for so long, and now this?

He tried a splice and was rewarded for it by a slight shock, making Seline cry out in fear.

" All right, enough! she ordered. You will get yourself killed! "

" I'm fine, he gritted. I am just fine, I know what I am doing! " he added, as he could espy more people coming his way.

He had the vivid impression they would rip him away from his work, so he acted quickly and made another, bigger short-circuit, that lit up the wall. But also opened the door.

Recriminations were forgotten and everyone rushed inside, no one caring that he had burned a few fingers.

The gratefulness of people was always welcome to see.He was a little dizzy as he got out of the wall panel and went to see for himself. He wasn't really surprised, it only made sense that the control cabin would be empty.

Some sighed in anger or despair, others tried to stare out in the darkness that the headlights didn't seem to be able to pierce. The train was going very very fast.

Dizzyingly fast.

Ben went to the controls and looked them over, trying to figure them out. What would slow them down, what would stop them altogether?

He had driven plenty of vehicles in his military days and was usually able to become familiar with any control board easily but strangely this one, albeit simple, refused to unveil its secrets easily.

He simply could not decipher them. Or rather, what to toggle to bring their speed down and stop the train without causing a worse accident that would eventually befall them.

Because if he couldn't get his mind to understand the controls, the geographical layout of their route was painstakingly obvious.

They had been going at breakneck speeds on even ground, but now they were ascending, getting to a more mountainous area, where there would be twists and bends and it was impossible, completely impossible, that they would not derail.

At the speed which they were going, they would be crushed as though they were in a tin can.

The sound of inevitability; he rubbed his eyes, wanting something to make sense in all this.

He was feeling dizzy and this could not be a good sign... of course he had just been zapped, that couldn't help.

" I don't get it, we should be able to call for help through here, right? One of the men, Chuck, said, playing with the radio. It's dead, everything is just dead. "

" Well that shouldn't be possible, " Seline said.

" And where is everyone? Polly questioned. How did they ditch the train? How come we are still inside, and they're gone? "

" Why can't we can't get a signal? " Deanna demanded

" Mountains coming up, signal blocked, " Chester said; he had apparently figured out the upcoming geological hazard as well.

They were in trouble.

" I have a satellite phone here, I could get a signal on Mars! " the girl replied.

" Then go to Mars, rich girl, Chester snorted. You ain't getting a signal here, whine to Elon or Gates. "

" No point getting vicious," Seline sighed, warning the girl out of a fight with an eloquent glare.

" We are all in this together, aren't we? So we should try to find a solution to our problem, is there... is there any way to call for help? "

" Just said no, missy, there's nothing, like it's dead, " Chuck said.

" Can we stop the train then? " Seline queried patiently.

" Do you see the brake anywhere? Take a guess, these are all electronics nowadays, maybe a hacker would have better luck, " Chester chuckled mirthlessly.

" We could stop it if we pulled everything out, Ben said. Just wrecked everything. "

" Yeah that would get us killed, " Polly exclaimed.

" The way things are going, we have what, 30 minutes? Before that happens anyway, so..." Ben said with a fake grin.

He felt exhausted and, wiping his nose, saw that he was bleeding a bit. He probably needed medical attention... not that anyone cared.

"We have to take action, Ben said, looking at the faces of his companions. If we don't do anything , we end up dead. So, best - "

"What, die now? Vera snorted. The guy is crazy, don't let him near anything! "

The gratefulness and memory of people as only his 'insane actions ' had gotten them into the control room.

But he wasn't surprised by this. The biggest mistake he had made was letting them go in first, cramping his style. Three's a crowd and they were much more than three now.

" Way things are going, it won't matter in a few minutes, we'll be crushed anyway, " Chester shrugged.

" This can't be happening, " Polly nearly sobbed.

Civilians all of them. Incapable of facing the problems, retreating in their dream world, letting others make the hard decisions.

But criticizing them for taking those decisions when no one else will.

His headache was getting worse and he had trouble focusing, all he felt was the speed, gaining, coming closer with every millisecond. Death was inevitable but here, now?

With these people?

There had to be another way.

The noise of the others was grating to his nerves and he needed to think more than ever.

From the moment he had woken up, he had felt as though he was in a dream, not in control of anything, at the mercy of the elements, of whoever was playing this cruel game with them.

Because this had to be a game of some kind, and they were pawns of some cruel masters that had... but what did those people have in mind?

There was no point or purpose to crash a train to kill 15 people. It was simply ridiculous, but everything about this situation was ridiculous.

So if he believed this thought, that someone had put them there and was watching them, the only way to make something happen was to do something unexpected.

Something that would force them to show themselves...

While the others were arguing over trifles, like how to call for help using the useless communications array, he approached the consoles.

No longer wanting to figure it out, wanting only to cause the maximal amount of damage in the shortest amount of time.

He still had the axe, that was their mistake. His grandfather had always said , the more sophisticated they make 'em, the easier they are to wreck.

One good blow should disrupt the whole system and force whoever had kidnapped them to step in.

Otherwise death was death, at least he would have chosen his time and place.

He watched the others, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible, just lost in thoughts, and when he was sure he would have the time for two strikes, he was merciless.

Seline was the first to gasp in fear and Chuck and Chester quickly pushed him away but the damage was done, the instruments fizzling, rivulets of energy spreading, puffs of smoke, acrid and plastic-smelling, filling the room.

" Are you insane, man?! " Chuck accused, ripping the axe away and punching him in the stomach hard enough to make him gasp for breath.

" It's crazy, he wrecked the train! " Vera cried out.

He felt the taste of blood on his lips and for a moment he was dizzy, nausea rising until he could no longer keep his eyes open.

The images were distorted and unclear, the sounds, like coming from a far distance, or underwater. What was he seeing? He could have sworn it was a place he knew, an office building he had come to hate and dread.

Someone telling him, but what were the words? That he was no longer needed, wanted, that he had caused too much trouble, been too insubordinate, they couldn't keep him anymore.

Anger problems, incapable of accepting authority, a list of psychological ailments they were piling on him... survivor's guilt, post-traumatic stress, no one able to see the plain truth. That there was nothing wrong with him at all.

" Did you kill him? " a voice asked with undisguised fear as Ben started to break through the fog.

" What does it matter, he killed us all! " Chuck grunted, looking at the shorting consoles with more than a little dread.

" Can' t we do something? " Polly worried.

" Why did you do that? " Seline confronted him.

Ben wiped blood from his mouth. " Something is off here, you must see it too? Nothing makes sense, so now, the train is wrecked, we will start getting answers. " he replied without remorse.

" The train controls are wrecked but it looks like it's doing fine, maybe picking up a little speed, Chester snorted. Your stunt might have cost us a few minutes of life, are you proud? I' d say thanks, less anguish for me... "

" We are not going to die, " Seline said in annoyance.

" Looks that way from up here, " Chuck replied.

" We are going to be okay, all right? Seline insisted.

" Looks like anything but right here, " Chuck said resentfully.

" We were kidnapped, Ben said. Nothing makes sense if we weren't kidnapped, I don' t think any of this is real! "

Chuck went and kicked him for good measure before Seline could intervene.

" How does that feel, again, tell me? Want another one just to be sure? Fuckin loony, of course this is real, how can it not be real? "

" I wish it wasn't real, maybe just a bad trip, " Deanna said.

" Don't hit him, there's no point, " Seline said.

" Get this dirtbag out of my sight, " Chuck growled.

No one wanted to help him walk but that wasn' t a problem. They didn't want to see the obvious, and those in charge of this train experiment were going with the group, if enough believed, they could continue their plan, whatever it was.

But he would not be a part of it. He wanted nothing of this messed up plan, whatever it was.

Too many times he had been on the receiving end, not knowing who was pulling the strings, at the mercy of anyone who had an agenda and destiny to fulfill.

There was no belief that everything would be all right somehow, not unless he made it happen.

To make it happen, no use to whine.

He hurried into the train to find what he needed , ripping the covers from all the beds in the wagons that he could find.

This was a bad plan, he knew it, but it was the only one he could come up with so little time to put his mind into gear.

His training as a Seal came in handy, as it always did. They taught them to be independent and strong, only to throw them to the wolves and abandon them when something went wrong...

But he had always come back from those missions, broken and bleeding perhaps, but alive.

And this would happen again.He was half-way done with his contraption, haphardly made, but he was pushed by dread. He had to finish it in time, there wasn' t much time left... when Seline walked in on him.

" What is this? " she asked in shock, appraising the contraption that looked a little like a sail and parachute. " What are you doing? "

" Has anything happened? " he replied, tightening the knots. 50/50 chance they would hold...

" No they can' t repair the damage and the train isn't slowing down, " she said, looking at him with round eyes as he shouldered his contraption and tightened the knots around his shoulders and waist.

He looked at her briefly, not wanting her to get into the way. He was done with his 'wings', as ready as he could be to glide out of the train and land outside. The speed should buffer him and give him enough momentum to spring away and fly... It would be a rough ride but much better than waiting for death.

" What do you think you are doing?" Seline demanded.

" Getting out of here, " he said pushing past her. Going for the nearest outside access hatch, hoping he wouldn't need the axe to demolish it. He just wanted out, no problem or delays.

" You can' t do that, what are you thinking, you will die, " she admonished.

" We will die anyway, this way I choose how and when, " he replied. But nonetheless he felt that flutter of fear, turning his legs to jelly and his bowels to ice. What if he made a mistake, should he wait to see the inevitable?

But he knew what would come, he always knew. His wife leaving him had been no surprise, losing his job, the rejection, trying to find his place, no one understanding what he was going through...

He felt dizzy at the thought, it was like a flood in his head... was it his whole life? Was this what happened before death, seeing all the mistakes he had made?

One more then.

He opened the hatch without problem and started climbing up after pulling a flimsy ladder from the compartment.

" Don't do this, it's insane! " she insisted.

" What's insane is trusting that someone will come solve all your problems, that someone will save you. We are all alone and this is how I face my problems. When I choose, how I choose, " he retorted and went up.

She looked contrariated or unsure what to do next but he didn't care: now he had to make it happen.

The hatch opened with a bang when he unlocked it, the speed was such that he was almost sucked out. His flying squirrel suit, made so hastily, could barely handle the stress as he hung onto the latch cover to place himself in position for the jump.

The Moon was out, a bright shining orb, so bright he could barely see anything else.

The wind whipping at him was so powerful he was almost ripped in two before he could properly deploy his arms, but for a short moment, he did fly...

The ring of the flatline was the loudest sound in the room as Seline emerged from the limbo caused by the VR helmet. All she wanted to do was rub the sleep out of her eyes and get her bearings but someone jerked her forward, bringing her back to reality in an instant.

" What happened in there? What happened to him???"

The voice was familiar, her colleague of course, but she only had eyes for Ben, whose face was a complete mess under the VR helmet.

As though he had been in a terrible crash, he looked broken, a rag doll, every bone in his body shattered.

" He jumped out, she said in disbelief. he jumped out, "

" You were supposed to counsel them! her colleague accused her. Show them how to trust again, what happened? "

" In a tense situation, people have a greater tendency to show their real emotions and open up to change, especially in front of imminent death, " she whispered under her breath.

It had seemed true, potent, capable of helping those who could not face their emotional problems.

" What happened? " her colleague panicked.

Everyone else was fine, she realized after a quick visual check of the other VR sets and patients.

" He chose this, she said in a pained breath. When and How, that's what was important to him. To choose When and How... "

She was still overwhelmed by the compete and utter failure of their program, and how their patient had managed to make the VR scenario a reality.

The mind had untold powers of destruction...

THE END