Night Talks in the Glowing Window

Now it's already 2:00 am, insomnia is tormenting me again habitually, I got up and draped the light beige woolen jacket to the windowsill, since I wore it to see you this spring, you said it looked good, I always wear it unconsciously, even when you're not there, it always feels as if you can see it. Just like the poem written by Kurayang Gyatso - "The snow lotus is blooming / open on the top of the iceberg / I can't see / but I can think about it / think about it is just as beautiful / looks beautiful / not as beautiful as thinking about it / you are beautiful when you are there / which is as beautiful as / you are not there ". I don't want to just pretend to be what you like in front of you, just as the snow lotus blooms, you come it will bloom, you don't come it will also bloom, you come when it blooms beautiful, you don't come when it blooms is also so beautiful, always preparing for your arrival, never because of your sudden arrival and panic, caught off guard. When you can't see it, I am still the same me that you have in mind.

　　This time, I have long been a snow-capped, cold sky, you must rarely see such a scene there, the hibernation has been hibernating, not hibernating this time is also sleeping well, living in the country unit dormitory, the smell of winter will be more thick than the city emanation. The night outside the window, the white snow reflecting the bright, bright so that the moon hanging in the treetops almost no presence. This year's winter, the snow seems to be extra thick, leisurely covered around, without a crease, not a bit of dust, let me look at it can not bear to step on this flat picture, only the door that is swept out of the path has been zigzagging into the distance. All around is quiet, can only hear the sound of the north wind through the distant mountains, sweeping over the roofs near the whistling, so that the old tree in front of my window covered with snow poof rustling down, in this simple and simple cold night in the countryside, looks more beautiful than the city those grand festivals blooming fireworks!

　　I don't know what kind of scenery Bai Le Tian saw back then that made him write the poem "green ants and new grains of wine, red mud and small fireplace, the sky wants to snow at night, can drink a cup of no", although you don't like to drink, but when this quiet night and cold night, I really want to bake a small fire, the red warmth of the fire and the white cold outside the window, against the bright snow of this window The fire is a great reflection of your great figure on duty on a distant high post, reflecting the majestic posture of your troops in formation and hard work, reflecting the tired face of your overtime work all night long, and your hard work does not forget to look in my direction that is full of longing eyes. I do not have a stove here, I lit a small orange light in front of the window, you said, you want to come home late every night, you can see me in the window for you to leave a light, you know that no matter how late I am waiting for you, the halo yellow light will let you forget a tired, recklessly run to me. In fact, you can not go home when I am not every day no matter how late are waiting for you, every day when my phone rings, how I hope that is you to send me the news, although I know very well, the probability of such really small very small, but I still hold such hope. Every night I fell asleep holding the phone, no matter how late it was, as long as I heard your call, I would wake up at the first opportunity, so much so that now it has become a habit, every night is not complete sleep until dawn, always wake up several times in the middle, every time I wake up to see if I missed your message. Because I know that you have a mission to leave at any time, you will lose communication signal at any time, every time did not wait to say a few words, and will disappear at any time, if you can not let you find me at the first time, we do not know how long we have to wait. People who have not experienced military love probably can not imagine, the longest time a week sent a message, a month and 12 days through a phone call, the length of time is twenty-two minutes and forty-five seconds, four months and twenty-two days still have not met, no one knows, I am how carefully cared for such a love, you are how a soldier full of fortitude under out your only warmth and tenderness to cherish me! The window is lit. The window was lit up, the snowy scene outside was not visible, only my face was reflected on the glass, my face alone, and this situation made me guess that Li Shangyin's state of mind when he experienced the autumn window and night rain in the land of Ba Shu, must be the same as when I was alone in the cold night in the countryside in the snowy north, the same "the gentleman asked for a date of return", the same expectation to talk about the West together. The same "I am looking forward to talking with you at the west window".

　　When I couldn't sleep at night, before writing this letter to you, I just watched a very old movie "The Shepherd" and saw the scene when the hero and heroine got married in the story, which is similar to what I see in front of me at this moment, the countryside in the 70's and 80's, also a cold winter snowy night, the window was only pasted with paper cutouts, only two candles were burning on the table in front of the window, it was too simple to be simple, but the happy smile on their faces was from the heart. The smile on their faces was from the heart. I also hope that we can tie the knot such a wedding, no wedding, no wedding dress, no flowers, no diamond ring, in order to respect the confidentiality of your profession, and even did not take a wedding photo, but my life is embedded in your heart. You often say to me "wait for me a while", but I know that this "a while" will not know when, no matter every time I go to see you, or every late night and you talk, I will wait for a long time, you will be late almost every time, but never miss the appointment. You were late almost every time, but never missed an appointment. Whenever you stand in front of me or your voice rings in my ears, I feel that all the waiting is worth it.

　　It's almost dawn here, but due to the time difference, it will be a little later there. I don't know if your uniform is warm at night, instead of me to protect you from the cold of the morning in the harsh winter, I don't know if your breakfast today is in the company canteen, or in the outer training site, I really hope that will make the kind of golden color, crispy and tender pretzels you like to eat. What I hope more than anything is that the next second my phone will suddenly ring and it will be you asking me if I can come see you today. Although I know that if that is the case, in order not to delay each other's work, the route I choose can only be a night trip, changing trains five times on the way, and then most likely due to a sudden impromptu decision, I can not book a seat and have to stand all the way for more than ten hours.