My Grandfathers' Secret

Driving to grandfather's funeral had to be one of the longest moments of my life. Grandfather was the only one I had since I was a child. I know he had been battling with Alzheimer's for quite sometime now. I just always thought he would be here to witness more of my life.

Arriving at the cemetery, I watched as family and friends cried over his casket. These people I did not know. There were women crying into their husbands arms while the children ran around. I wanted to ask them to stop tell them that this was not a playground. Nobody here knew who I was. I blame that on the fact that my parents have never been a part of my life.

I would love to believe that someone here would recognize me. They would run up to me with tears in their eyes screaming. I'd be forced into a back-breaking hug. Kisses being placed on my face as the parents I have wished for apologize for losing me all those years ago.

"Sir Marquez?"

My name wakes me from the daydream I was painting. "Yes? Can I help you?" I was nervous. This man knew who I was. How?

"Ah I apologize for the disturbance but, I am Sir Don Julio's Lawyer and long time friend Lucas Argentina. I just wanted to talk so we could schedule a date that we can go over his will. Seeming as you are the only one he mentioned."

"Oh, It's nice to meet you Sir Argentina. Yes thank you. Would we able to meet right after this."

"Of course! I want to take this time to give you my condolences. Your grandfather was an amazing man. He loved you very much. If you need anything, please call me."

"Thank you.." I said. I could feel my heart racing in my chest. My grandfather talked about me regularly? I guess he truly did care for me. If you count being shipped away to a school a thousand miles away, love. Then yes this man loved me quite a lot. I couldn't hold it against him though. He was already dying inside. I think he didn't want me to get too attached to a dying man.

The priest started the ceremony, leaving me to wallow in my own depression. I watched from a distance. I couldn't be there with people I had no clue who they were. Family? Friends? Cousins? Was my grandfather that important?

I wanted to leave. I couldn't sit through all these unknown faces speeches about how amazing this man was. I didn't stay to see him be put into his last resting place. I didn't go to the gathering after, unsure if I was even invited. I dialed Sir Argentina's number. Confirming the meeting at the coffee shop 10 minutes from the funeral home.

Arriving first, I sat in the nearest open booth, waiting for the man my grandfather talked to daily. Watching the cars speed by, I couldn't help but wonder who else I was related to at the funeral. Was there any possibility that my parents were there.

"Excuse me, Sir Marquez, are you okay?" the same gruff voice from before once again woke me from my thoughts.

"Yes Sir Argentina. Please take a seat." I gestured to the opposite side of the booth. "Would you like anything to drink? My treat." I tried to sound welcoming.

"No, I am good. Thank you." He said with a sad smile. "Now son, your grandfather might have had a lot of connections. But you were the only family who cared for him, rather than his money." His whole demeanor changed the more he talked. "Your grandfather gave you everything in his will. His car, his ranch, his money. All though there isn't a lot of money. He still left it in your name."

I was shocked. One because I have more family out there. And two because I was left everything. My grandfather wasn't the poorest man. He wasn't the richest either. Most of his fortune coming from his savings when he left Mexico. "Everything? Why would he leave me with everything?"

"Listen your grandfather cared for you. He wanted you to know that you weren't a burden. He searched for you for years. Praying to God that you would appear so he can take you under his wings. Sadly he found you rather late into his life. Yes, he sent you away. Only because he didn't want you to mourn his loss terribly. He is giving you everything because you deserve to be supported. Even from his grave."

Sir Argentina had tears falling from his eyes. His voice squeaking the more he told me how much my grandfather truly loved and cared for me. I didn't know how to react. I was feeling all too many emotions to know. So I sat there, uncomfortable under this older mans gaze.

"Here is the will.. And the keys to your grandfathers ranch. All you need to do is sign below and this will be all yours."

I blindly grabbed the pen, signed my name, grabbed the keys. Muttered a quiet "Thank you for your time." and ran out the comfort of the coffee shop. The weather reflected how I felt. Cold, dark and lonely. I caught a taxi back to my little apartment complex, stripped my clothes and fell into the comfort of my bed.

Waking up to the sound of thunder. I slipped out of bed, grabbed clothes, showered and left for my grandfather's ranch. It took me a 45 minute taxi ride to reach the steps of my grandfathers'... well my ranch. It was small with the nearest neighbors a good 10 minute walk from here.

I could feel myself shake while inserting the keys into the keyhole. The inside of the house was quiet and cold. The early signs of being abandoned. My grandfather was a very simple man, his ranch was a reflection of that. I made the trip to the kitchen to grab the cleaning supplies I knew he had. Throwing myself into a depressive cleaning escape, I started to deep clean everything. From the ceiling, to the walls, to the floorboards. I wanted to focus on this task rather than my relationship with my grandfather.

Making my way to my grandfathers' old room a couple hours after my arrival time. I lifted up the old brown carpet, he cared for so little. I started to scrub down the black-tinted floorboards. One of which seemed newer than the others. Carefully I lifted it, seeing a secret opening. Reaching inside I felt what I believed to be a box. Pulling it out, I was correct. A box, wrapped in brown paper, my name being written across the front. "Dear Child, I am sorry. Love Grandfather" read the tag.

Confused I set the box aside, once again reaching into the unknown. Feeling a paper, I grabbed that as well. Deciding to open the letter first, I ripped the envelope open. Right away I recognized the writing as my grandfathers.

"Dear Jamie, You are probably wondering why I left you this letter as well as the box. Jamie I know I wasn't the grandfather you hoped I would have been. There is so much you don't know about our family. I want you to know that your parents loved you so much. If you are reading this now, that means that my time here on Earth has ended. I promise I will continue to watch over you from afar. Down below is a number, which belongs to your fathers' oldest brother. He was the only one who I could trust to tell you about your parents. I will not rush you to open the box but when you do, know that there is nothing we can do to change the outcomes that occurred. I love you mijo. Please remember that. Sincerely, Your Grandfather Don Julio."

I hadn't realized I was crying until the pen started to smear along the paper. Shaking I dialed the number left on the paper, all while staring at the unknown brown wrapped box.

"Hello? Who is this?" a strong Hispanic accent rang through my phone. Taking a deep breath, I responded. "Um hello, my name is Jamie Marquez. I believe you are my father's eldest brother."

"Oh gosh... Yes! Yes my name is Daniel. This is Manny's son?" My now Uncle started to scream over the phone. I didn't know who Manny was, only assuming that this was my fathers' name. "Um I'm not sure who Manny is but Don Julio was my grandfather. He left a note with your number on it. Saying you would help me understand who my parents were."

The mans breath had started to even out and he seemed to finally understand the situation. "Yes, Don Julio is my father. Manny was my youngest brother. He had a son a year before his disappearance. Leaving my father to search for you for 10 years." he sighed. "My father was already mourning the death of his wife when we got the call about your parents. Jamie I want to apologize for never looking for you. I just couldn't face you, with knowing what happened."

"Look Sir Daniel. I am not sure what you are talking about. But I just want to know who my parents are and where I can find them." I said in a hurry. My anxiety was rising the longer I stayed on the phone with my supposed uncle.

"Jamie, your parents went through a lot while you were an infant. I don't know everything but, I do know that your parents loved you deeply. I don't want to be the man who crushes your hopes. Yet, here I am. Your parents passed away on your 1st birthday. They had left to run some errands when we got a call 2 weeks later saying they got deported and on the way back to Mexico they went missing. All we know is that your parents things were found in a canal 15 miles away from where they were supposed to be. My father was devastated, he left to drink, tried to take his life and was admitted to the hospital that night. What we didn't know was how your then 1 year old self, was able to up and walk away. When my father left the hospital a week later he realized he left you at home. When we arrived, you were gone. There was no way to tell who took you and why." Sir Daniel was crying at this point. I could hear the way his heart shattered when retelling me this story.

All I could do was sit there, listening to this man tell me that my parents were no longer here. How they randomly disappeared, how I was taken from my home, how my grandfather was at fault for me being homeless and on the streets. Hanging up, I reached towards the brown box that mocked me with my family secrets. What could have possibly been in this box that was hidden away for years. Ripping the brown paper off first, then the boxes flaps, I could see pictures. Pictures I had never seen before. Pictures of a young man and women, some with them laughing, others with the women holding her pregnant belly. Flipping over one picture, it read "Ann and Manny, with 6 month old Jamie."

This right here was my parents, the parents that loved me till their unknown death. The parents who couldn't celebrate their child's life. I screamed and cried for the people that I could not love. For the people who I could not have a conversation with. Sitting on the floor, I mourned the loss of my grandfather, of my father, of my mother, and of any possibility to have a full family.