So she's lying there, right, completely out. He must have heard her go down. Great big thump. She's not a small woman. Anyway. He still didn't shout out. Bang on the door. Anything. Dunno what I was expecting really. But now, I look back, and I reckon... I was gonna keep going till he gave me something. I'd probably keep going after that, too. But right then, I just wanted to know what it was going to take. To break him. I guess. He must feel something for her. She's his mum, right? I mean, I don't have one, but... I kind of wished I did. When I was little, you know. A kid. I thought she'd be beautiful, and smell clean. Tuck me in or whatever. It sounds sappy, but little kids want stupid shit, don't they? I'm not like that anymore. Obviously. I don't need anything now. Or anyone. Point is. For most people, mums are people they about. Aren't they? Maybe I'd read him all wrong. There she is. A lump in cheap clothes. At my mercy. She's not, by the way, anything like the mum I imagined when I was a stupid little kid. She's ugly. Up close, she doesn't smell good. She does seem to worship him. But that only proves how stupid she is. I should do her then. In the murder way. Not the sex way. I don't know why I didn't. Saving it, I suppose. Gut instinct. Holding off so l can do it when it'll hurt him most. I dragged her limp body to the front door. Not bothering to be quiet. I got the door open. Checked the corridor. Okay, now I had to act quick. I don't like that. I like a plan. Breathing room. Don't like stress. But here goes. I picked her up. That was hard. She's short but shes dumpy. I carried her down to her car and bundled her into the passenger seat. "One too many sherries. One too many sherries." I held that in my mouth, hoping no one would ask. I got in the driver's seat. Gotta admit, my hands were all sweaty. I don't like driving. I avoid it when I can. Prefer buses. But I can drive. So I did. I used her satnav to find the way back to her place. What is it with old people programming in places like "home"? Do you need a machine to get you how to get somewhere you go every day? People are so stupid. I found her keys in her handbag, got the door open. Came back for her. Manhandled her in. Somehow. Had a good rummage through her belongings. What to keep? I thought I might take the phone, but those things are trackable, so maybe I shouldn't keep it. Found myself thumbing her front door key. Wouldn't it be funny if she had no spare and was locked inside? Neat. Poetic, practically. I did take the phone, but I broke it apart and dropped the pieces in the canal. It took a long time to walk home.
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L.C. Schäfer
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Sometimes writes under S.E.Holz
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