Ms. Chesny's Jimmy Choos

Leopold Norton was sixty but, having poorly taken care of himself throughout the full expanse of his life, appeared to be at least ten years older.

He finished the last sole repair he would ever, ever do, and prepared to bid adieu to Norton Shoe Repair for good.

Then in came a tall, bleach-blonde woman in her late 40s carrying a pair of dizzying bejeweled high heels.

“Mr. Norton!” the woman said. “You must reattach the heels to my priceless jeweled Jimmy Choos and pronto! The heels detached whilst I was in a vigorous tango at the Arthur Murray Dance Studio, you see. I must have them no later than my next lesson at 8 o’clock tomorrow in the PM.”

“Ms. Chesny,” said Leopold. “I am afraid my little old shoe repair shop is closed for good. I’ve tried and failed to pay the full rent for three months, and the eviction will happen tomorrow morning.”

“But there are no other shoe repair shops!” cried Ms. Chesny. “I need you!”

Leopold shrugged.

“Mr. Norton,” said Ms. Chesny, “as you can see from my manner, clothes, and choice of Jimmy Choo footwear, I am very well off. I will personally pay your rent to stop the eviction tomorrow if you fix my shoes!”

“I’ll fix ‘em then!” said Leopold. “Leave ‘em on the counter.” Leopold then swept the floor (a task surely he had no plan to perform until Ms. Chesny’s offer to pay rent). He smiled as he locked up and went home to sleep. How lucky to be saved at the last minute!

When Leopold returned to his shoe repair store the following morning, the front door was inexplicably ajar. He rushed inside to find the store had been robbed of shoe repair equipment and, yes, Ms. Chesny’s bejeweled Jimmy Choos.

Leopold vomited on the floor. He paused. He considered his options. Then he got on a bus to Nordstrom in Montgomery Mall. It would be worth the expense to buy Ms. Chesny a new pair of the same shoes if she was paying rent to save his shoe repair store.

In Nordstrom, Leopold found the extraordinary bejeweled Jimmy Choo heels on display with a $1500 price tag. Leopold did not have that much money. He would have to steal the shoes.

Now Leopold had very little experience with shoplifting. He shoved the shoes up to the underarms hidden by his trench coat, but his underarms lost grip of the shoes just as Leopold walked out of the store and the Jimmy Choos fell to the floor.

Leopold Norton took a plea bargain for a one-year jail sentence for felony theft. In the first few weeks, he sent a letter to Ms. Chesny to let her know what happened to her shoes and thank her for the offer to save the shoe repair shop, though clearly, this would not happen now.

Six months into his sentence, Leopold received a surprise visit from Ms. Chesny herself.

“Mr. Norton,” she said, “I must at last clear my conscience. I am by no means rich. I lied to you when I said I would pay your rent, lied because I wanted you to fix my shoes.”

“Ah,” said Leopold.

“But the shoes, Leopold, the shoes!” she said.

“What about the shoes?” he asked.

“They were knock-offs,” she said. “Complete fakes. Worth nothing.”

Leopold was quiet for a moment then, while standing up, said, “Well, isn’t that the height of irony!” and he grabbed Ms. Chesny by the waist and tongue-kissed her deep and long, an advance she greedily welcomed much to her own surprise.