Moscow’s Calling - 2

This conversation took place on Aug.28, 2021, after the Wall Street Journal published a story on defense contractor Erik Prince charging people $6,500 per person to get evacuated from Afghanistan.

“Hello, Donnie?” (urgency in voice)

“Yes, Vlad? I can’t believe you are calling me!”

“It’s urgent, Donnie, no time for niceties or explanations.”

“Oh, Ok. What’s so urgent?”

“Can you give me Erik Prince’s number?”

“Eric??? I’ve never heard anyone call him ‘prince’ except Ivanna and Ivanka, but Ok, thank you, I guess. Why do you need his number?”

“It’s really urgent, Donnie, I’ll explain later. I need his number. Preferably not his personal cell, but a secure line so that your intelligence services don’t snoop on our conversations.”

“I doubt he has a secure line, I would have known. I guess I can ask but first I want to know what business you want with my son.”

“Your son??? Oh…” To the side, “I can’t believe how self-centered this buffoon is.” To Trump, “Oh, no, Donnie, I mean Erik Prince, your defense contractor.”

“Aaaahhhh, and here I was trying to figure out what you want from the prince of my family Eric. Awkward!” (both feign laughter)

“Yes, Donnie, it’s another Erik, your defense contractor.”

“Well, he is not my defense contractor anymore. Works for Sleepy Joe now, traitor…”

“I doubt he sees it that way, he just works where the money is. Who knows, maybe he is working to sabotage Biden. You’d have to respect him for that.”

“Well, you might be right. I haven’t seen him or spoken to him since last November. What do you want with him?”

“Some business to discuss. So, can you get me his number or not?”

“I doubt I have it. I actually never had to call him; the Pentagon people did that for me. I’ll have to ask.”

“I hope you are not going to ask Pentagon,” (laughs).

“No, I’ll ask the Yacht Woman, his sister, what was her name?”

“Betsy DeVos?”

“Yes, that’s it!”

“How can you forget the name of your own minister of education, Donnie?”

“Minister?? I didn’t know she was ordained. Well, good for her, I guess, milking it on all sides” (chuckles).

“Oy, I meant secretary. We call them ministers here in Russia. She was your secretary of education.”

“Ah, that! Yes, she was. Pretty bad one at that, too. Tremendously bad. You know, I had nicknames for everyone, right?”

“Right, they were usually spot on! And stuck for a long time, even the media used them.”

“That’s right! I’m good with nicknames!” (both chuckle) “So I called Betsy the Yacht Woman.”

“Why?”

“Because a story once broke by the failing media that she had like five yachts docked on Lake Michigan! Five, Vlad, five yachts! Who needs that many, even if you are a rich oligarch…”

“Well, I know several… but that’s not the point, Donnie. Do you think Betsy would have Erik’s secure number?”

“Erik, Erik, Erik! Why are you so stuck on him, Vlad? You are making me jealous!” (laughs nervously).

“C’mon, Donnie, you have nothing to worry about. No one will ever replace you as my friend. As I said, I need to discuss some business with him.”

“What kind of business?”

“The kind that requires his hubris and boldness.”

“Oh, that he has plenty.”

“I know, right? (dreamily) I still remember the way he carried himself at that Congress hearing! Such a huge chip on his shoulder, like ‘I don’t care what you say or think! You can’t touch me!’ To your untouchable congresspeople! You have to admire that.”

“Oh yes, I was very proud of him then, because he was working for me. He showed those spineless Democrats who the boss was!”

“That he did, Donnie, that he did! And he is so f*cking handsome! And ripped! And tall! How can someone be all of that, and smart and cunning at the same time? He is like the Greek god Apollo but working for the other side!”

“Do I hear a little too much admiration in your voice, Vlad? You almost sound fawning over him, like a girl.”

“I can appreciate a handsome man, Donnie, can’t I?”

“Of course you can, but it sounds almost as if you are jealous of him.”

“Jealous? Why would I be jealous? He is not my boyfriend.”

“I used a wrong word, Vlad. Envious, maybe?”

“And why would I envy Erik? I have so much more than he does, of money and power!” To the side, “I wish I were as handsome, but I guess you can’t have everything.”

“Exactly my point! So what do you want with him then?”

“Would you let it go, Donnie? I told you, it’s a business proposition. I need his skills for something I can’t tell you about right now. If it works out, I will. So, will you get me his number?”

“Well, all right. I’ll ask B… the Yacht Woman.”

“Betsy, you mean?”

“Yes.”

“OK, how long do you think it will take? It’s really urgent.”

“Give me a couple of days, Vlad.”

“All right, Donnie, bye!” Hangs up and says to the side, “A couple of days! I hope he doesn’t forget. I guess time to send Deripaska and his yacht to the waters of beautiful Lake Michigan.”

Trump, looking at the phone, “I wonder what was all that about. Business! What if he wants to contract Erik to kill American soldiers for bounty right there at the airport? That would be some headache for Sleepy Joe.”