Mindless; Chapter 14

"Sorry," I mutter, looking down to my bed. "I guess I forgot where I was."

Doctor Airaway catches my chin and pulls my eyes to hers. "Gwen, just tell me this: Are you okay?"

My eyes flutter to the desk, then back to her. I want to tell her, but the darkness is warning me not to, and for once, something in the pit of my stomach tells me I should listen to it. I look back down at my bed.

Doctor Airaway wraps me in a hug, and I stiffen in surprise. "You're safe here." Giving me a smile, she stands up. "If you want to talk to me, just say so." Leaning forward she plants a kiss on my forehead. "Try to get some sleep. If you can't, I'm sure Eren is more than capable of staying awake all night with you."

"Mom," Eren objects.

She waves him off as she walks to the door. "Don't think I'm not aware of how many all-nighters you've pulled young man. I'll wake Ace up and send him down as well," she adds as an afterthought.

"Why?" I ask.

Doctor Airaway stops in the doorway, turning to face us. "If those boys' fathers knew just how much of the midnight mischief was theirs, I've no doubt that they'd both be locked in the cells for a solid week. Oh, yes. I know all about what you two got into, I'm your mother after all."

With that she leaves, shutting the door behind her. I look at Eren. "Just what did you two do?"

Eren clears his throat. "Nothing that can either be confirmed or denied."

The room laps into silence. I look down at my bed again.

"Gwen?" Eren asks. I look at him. "Why did you say, 'you're alive'? Who did you see?"

I blink in surprise, then look down at my bed to avoid his eyes. Eren doesn't press the question though. He lets it drop.

I glance at him. Eren's eyes wander the wall to the left of my bed. His brown eyes make me think of Subject 44 again.

I let my eyes shut, shoving down the darkness's objection. "Your eyes," I say. I can feel Eren's eyes on me. "Subject 44, he had brown eyes." I look up into Eren's brown eyes. "When I saw your eyes, I saw subject 44."

Eren's eyes fill with sympathy as my words sink in. "Gwen, I'm sorry," he says.

I give him a small smile. "Thanks, but please don't. That doesn't really help, and there's nothing you could have done."

Eren gives me a small smile in return. "Then thank you for telling me."

"You're welcome, but don't expect to hear anymore," I tell him. I say it jokingly, but it's meant as a warning for him not to ask anything else about what I remembered.

Eren nods in understanding. Then, his smile morphs into a smirk. "I'll just pretend that the hug was meant for me, so no one else asks," he teases.

My smile grows as I reach behind me and whip my pillow around to smack him. He laughs, blocking my blow just in time.

"If I had known that we'd be having a pillow fight, I would have brought my pillow," Ace muses, walking into my room.

"As fun as that would be, I'm going to veto that idea before it even starts," Eren says, pulling my pillow out of my hands.

"Hey!" I complain, reaching for it, but he holds it out of reach.

"This is mine now," he says, fending off my outstretched arms.

Ace plops down on my right. "I'd offer you mine, but I didn't bring it," he tells me.

I look at him. "Thanks for getting up, but you didn't have to come."

Ace waves me off as he yawns. "What else are friends for?"

I look between the two boys. "So, what does one do during an all-nighter?" I ask.

"Well, a lot, but considering that you're still technically still on lock down for protection and bed rest for healing, technically, the only mischief that can be gotten up to in this room." Ace shrugs, "But nobody needs to know."

Eren launches the pillow at Ace. "We are not turning her into a delinquent."

Ace launches the pillow back at Eren. "Fine, buzzkill. That leaves. . . sleep. We literally have no other option. I didn't bring the game board with me."

"There has to be something we can do," I say. "I don't feel like sleeping."

The boys silently think.

"We could go to the roof," Ace muses.

"Why is that even an option?" I ask.

Ace shrugs. "It's a clear night. Good for star gazing."

"Your suggestion is to go stare at the sky?" I asked, bewildered.

"I'll have you know that a starry sky is actually quite breath taking," Ace counters.

"I can name someone who would disagree with that," Eren says.

Ace makes an annoyed face. "Hanson doesn't count. That man has no sense of pleasure, and star gazing is a hobby that many people enjoy."

Eren simply rolls his eyes.

"Fine. You have any suggestions?" Ace says, crossing his arms defensively.

"Let's do it," I say. Both boys look at me. I shrug. "Going outside sounds like a nice change."

"Alright. Let's do this," Eren says, standing up.

"We'll need plenty of blankets and pillows," Ace responds, standing.

I stand up. "Why?"

"Because the roof is hard and I find it more enjoyable to lay around while star gazing," Ace says stretching.

Eren rolls his eyes, leading the way to the door. "You're hopeless," he says, opening the door.

The guards outside my door are surprised when we exit, and begin to protest, but Eren manages to quickly silence them as Ace and I find and raid the closest with all the linen for this floor.

Unfortunately, the guards insist on following, but they stay inside instead of joining us on the roof. After piling all of the comforters we brought with us, we can lay down comfortably on the roof. I claim a fuzzy blanket and two pillows then lay down in the center of our comforter pile. Eren lays down on my left and Ace lays down on my right.

We stare up at the sky in silence. My eyes wander across the sky taking in the millions of pinpricks of light in the black sky. The moon isn't quite full, but it's still beautiful.

"Well?" Ace asks. "What do you think?"

I look at him, eyes wide in wonder. "It's. . . amazing."

"See, Eren? The night sky can just be adored without knowing the constellations," Ace calls across me to Eren.

"Constellations?" I ask. I have a feeling that I know what those are and that they're important for some reason. The feeling is gone as quick as it came though.

"Patterns in the stars that these ancient guys saw and named. Used for navigation or telling the time of year," Eren says.

I look at Eren then at the sky. "How?"

"Well, . . . earth has an. . . angle of sorts, I guess, from them and depending on their relative location from the earth they can either be seen year-round or at certain times of the year. Navigation can be seen year-round and the ones for telling the time of year can't be. . . Sorry, that's a terrible explanation, but it's the best I've got," Eren explains.

"Where are they?" I ask.

Eren lifts his arm and points at the sky. "Right there, there's four stars that make a terrible box, then from one corner, the upper left, two stars make a line that goes up then dips down to that star right there, can you see it?"

I look but I'm having trouble seeing right where he's pointing. I scoot closer to him and duck under his arm, resting my head on his shoulder. My eyes easily follow his pointing finger to the stars indicated. "Yes."

Eren lowers his arm. "That's Ursa major," he says.

"Ursa major? Why?"

"Some call it the big dipper or the big bear," Ace says.

"I can kind of see a dipper, but not a bear," I reply.

"Ursa major is its original name, and it means greater bear," Eren says.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because in the legend, it was a woman who got turned into a bear by a god and when she tried to make contact with her son, her son tried to shoot her, so the god swung her up into the sky and made her into a constellation," Ace says.

I look over at Ace, surprised. He's just looking at the sky. I turn my head towards Eren's face. "Is he joking?"

"No. That was a short synopsis of the story," he says.

"Wow, that's. . ." I'm not sure what the proper description is.

"Oh, and that god also turned the son into a bear and threw him into the sky to be with his mother," Ace says, almost as an afterthought.

"What?" I ask.

Eren points up again at Ursa major. "Follow the two right stars of Ursa major's box in a semi-straight line and you reach the northern star. That's the tip of Ursa minor's tail," Eren says, tracing out Ursa minor.

"Are all the stories behind constellations this. . . lovely?" I ask.

"Some are actually nice," Ace says. "My favorite is Bootes, the crab. Placed in the sky by the queen of the gods because he pinched Hercules on the foot in the middle of one of his battles, inadvertently pleasing the queen."

I laugh. "There is no way that's true," I say.

Eren points up at the sky. "Those five stars that make an upside-down 'Y'."

"That is not a constellation," I call him out.

"I wish it weren't," he replies.

"There's one that's supposed to be a dog, but it's literally just two stars," Ace says.

"What?" I ask incredulously.

Eren's hand shifts slightly down right. "Canis minor."

I stare at Canis minor for a second in silence. "Show me all the constellations in the sky and tell me their story," I tell the boys.

"Do you know all the stories, Ace? Because I don't," Eren says.

"Most of them. Just go. If I don't know, I'll just say skip."

Eren points out the constellations and naming them. In response, Ace prattles off a simple, yet accurate version of the story behind each one.

- - - - -Eren's POV - - - - -

Ace is droning on about Andromeda, but I'm not listening. I glance at Gwen. Her head is still resting on my shoulder, but it's no longer looking up. It's fallen to the side, onto my chest. I can't see her eyes, but I know they're shut. She hasn't moved or responded for the last three constellations.

"Ace," I say, looking towards him. "Shut up."

Ace gives me a look.

"She's asleep, and I could care less about the stories behind the constellations," I tell him.

Ace nods and stands up. "In that case," he says, stretching his arms over his head, "I will see you tomorrow. . . Or is it later today?" He waves his hand, dismissing his question. "I don't care. I'll see you later."

"Where are you going?"

"To bed."

Going to bed sounds good, but I doubt I could get up by myself without waking Gwen. "Help me up," I tell him.

Ace looks down at Gwen and me. "Nah, you two look comfortable."

"Ace!" I hiss.

"What?" Ace asks.

"Seriously?" I respond.

Ace sits down next to me. "Eren, I don't know how to say this to you, so I'm just gonna say it how it is. You're a big boy now. You can do things for yourself."

"If it weren't for the fact that Gwen is laying on me, I would get up and hit you," I tell him.

Ace rolls his eyes. "I'm not completely heartless you know. But this is just too cute. Eren, the rising army star, trapped on the roof by a girl laying on him."

"How about you get punched twice by a girl then tell me you wouldn't do your best not to disturb that girl," I say, raising an eyebrow, daring him to challenge me.

Ace's eyes go wide. "Again?" he asks.

I sigh. "Yeah. She had a nightmare that rattled her nerves. Now help me up."

Ace looks at Gwen. "Yeah, I'm not going to risk getting punched."

"Seriously?"

"I'll keep you company though," Ace says laying back down.

I roll my eyes, but don't bother responding. The night is silent and peaceful.

"Hey, Eren," Ace says.

"What?" I ask, slightly annoyed that he broke the peace of the night.

"Remember the first time we snuck up to the roof?"

I smile at the memory. "Yeah. You were trying to impress Lucy and somehow convinced me to help you. So, the night before you were going to bring Lucy up here, we both snuck up here and got busted because you decided we should have a competition to see who had better balance on the edge. Our dads were furious. . . Did you ever bring Lucy up here?"

"No. She decided I wasn't mature enough. Though the other day, she did acknowledge my presence again," Ace muses.

I chuckle. "You're ridiculous."

"We were great partners in crime," Ace says nostalgically.

We lapse back into silence.

"What do you think they did to her?" Ace suddenly asks.

I look at Gwen again. I remember her screams. She had been terrified. "I don't know, but whatever it is, I know that the council wants to know. They're hoping it will help them stop the Order, but. . . part of me hopes she never remembers."

"Was it that bad? All your mom said was that she had a nightmare," Ace says.

"Whatever she remembered in that nightmare terrified her. She was screaming in her sleep, and after she woke up, she was crying."

Ace is silent again, but there's a tension in the air now. "Eren, do you know a Dr. Thawn?"

"I know of him. My mom hates him and loves to remind people that he is a terrible human that everyone should hate. Why?"

"I've heard whispers that the council wants to bring him in," Ace says.

I had asked my mom once why she hated Dr. Thawn so much, but she wouldn't give me any specifics. All she had said was 'A patient's health and safety comes first. Always.' Considering that my mom wasn't the kind of person to hold a grudge of any kind for any reason, all I knew for sure was that Dr. Thawn was bad news.

I feel the urge to hold Gwen closer, as if that would protect her. As if in response to my urge, Gwen suddenly moves, snuggling closer to me. I feel her shiver against my side and I notice that a chill has crept into the air and Gwen is once more back in the thin infirmary white slacks and shirt.

I sigh. "Ace, bring me a blanket, Gwen is shivering."

I hear Ace sigh, then see him stand up. Grabbing a blanket, he brings it over to me. With an unneeded flourish, he flaps the blanket in the air, letting it settle down on top of Gwen and me. He stands at my feet, looking down on us.

"What?" I ask.

Ace holds up his hands, making two L's as if framing the two of us. "I wish I had a camera right now. This would make such a cute picture."

"Shut up," I tell him.

Ace laughs as he lays back down on the blanket. "Hey, what do you say tomorrow you and I raid the kitchen pantry."

"Are you trying to get in trouble?" I ask him.

"Just a thought. I mean, if we're going to be friends again, we also need to be partners in crime again."

"For being the son of a chancellor, you sure do love to make trouble. Go to sleep before you come up with something that will get us in major trouble," I tell him, shutting my eyes.

"Fine. . . Or we could-"

"Ace," I warn.

"Fine. Night, buzz kill."

I don't bother responding.