MAGISTRATE COURTS DARKEST HOUR

I told him no matter how sacred or secret our bond—that I would look for him everywhere. I would go to the ends of the Earth to find him, knowing deep down that he was gone forever and no one could ever replace him—no matter how hard I tried. I would look for him in every strangers face, in every old photograph. Nothing would ever take the pain away; nothing.

The words haunted me. The beautiful words I spoke haunted me. I watched tears spill from myself as I told him I would never forget him; I would hold on until it was safe to let go. I begged him to do the same as I curled up like a child and cried, turning inward; the tears burning my chest until I could no longer breathe. Wishing for time to turn back one day, one week, one month, or one year but that couldn’t change what would happen next.

Now, I wish I had one more year, I wish he could see me as I am now, how proud he would be. Of course, it’s the curse of knowledge, of hindsight, of memory, of will-power…and it is fickle.

In my last bit of lucidity I promised to protect her, to watch over my mom and keep her safe. I promised to look after my brothers and sisters until the swallowing moons took me away. I promised to do everything in his honor.

I fought to hold my composure and be strong for him, and here I sit a ravaging mess consumed by the bitter taste of death…scared to step into that next step, afraid of the unknown…

In all her life she had never been in such a place. It was as thought it never existed before today and yet Jill Marsh spoke the seething tear-ridden words over the loss of her dearly beloved father. His passing was much a surprise and not one that could be mistaken for joy-filled missives and though her father was no longer suffering, she had taken over. His pain transferred to her—a burden Jill would gladly consume if it meant she could keep him in her memory. Naturally, in the passage of time, Jill lost touch with her hopes and dreams, letting them float through her mind like a child-hood memory as she recounted the earth-shattering moment as though it happened yesterday.

We knew the time was coming but we were never prepared, never. No one ever is…

I don’t wish this on anyone, but alas, I know we will all encounter it…the sickly sweet taste of death, the calming storm, the will to fight, the sacrifice to give in. We will all face that battle and strongly we will come out of it more victorious than before. We will step into our next chapter…willingly as we hope, but some unwillingly…

But me, I don’t know what I believe. I don’t know what comes next…

Jill sat before the growing group of jurors unsure of what to say next. She knew she had done the right thing, but for who, herself or her father?

The rows and rows of pew-like benches sat in the oversized room. Ornate wooden ceilings towered above to the skies as rays of dusty light painted the walls and floors as hushed whispers and tawdry outcries could be heard.

“Silence!! Silence!!” the Head-Magistrate’s voice bellowed from the center of the room. Reaming waves of silver curls hung down to his elbows as his thick, black eyebrows furrowed amidst the spitting sweat.

He slammed the gavel down against the pulpit, demanding order.

“Do I need to remind you why you are here…” he barked growing redder by the minute as Magistrate Orderly’s buzzed around the room swatting those in attendance who could not keep still.