Love for Sugar

He was 7 years old when his parents took him to the Camden aquarium for the first time. His favorite attraction was the shark tank that you could put your hands into and touch the fish. The first time his little hands ran across the sandy feeling skin of the tiniest shark with the injured fin, he felt invigorated. It became their weekend ritual because he enjoyed the trip so much. People would say it was sensory issues because of his diagnosis, but he didn't care.

Kaylen knew he was different, but when he petted the smallest sand shark in the tank, something clicked inside of him. He felt a connection he couldn't explain in words, he just knew something felt normal to him for the first time. This animal that he related to, was misunderstood in many ways, and judged.

Every weekend he looked forward to petting the shark he named Sugar because the coarse feel of his skin made him think of sugar covered candy. Sugar made him feel comfortable, confident, and almost like he could be himself. He didn't have to worry about outside influences or opinions, like the noise of the world around him just stopped when he concentrated on touching the animal. It wasn't always easy. The young, injured shark circled slowly around the tank, continuously looking for a way out. Kaylen understood that feeling, and always tried to calm the animal when he pet him. It was an unspoken agreement that all would be calm if the two could catch each other. Kaylen learned patience by caring for how the shark would feel. It almost seemed as if he were speaking a lost language among the superficial world he lived in. Everything was caged and controlled and fought over. Kaylen wished he could take Sugar home to live with him but he knew it would never happen. He just wanted the shark to have freedom and comfort.

Kaylen knew discomfort and self doubt but here he could feel at peace within a world of chaos. His parents, therapists, and teachers didn't know how to help him. His parents would sit back on the bench and watch Kaylen at the shark tank for hours. No one seemed to mind because Kaylen enjoyed it so much. His parents encouraged him to try to pet the other sharks or the sting rays. Kaylen didn't really care, but the more he thought about sitting still and trying to pet what came to him, the more it made sense to him. He told himself next weekend he would try that.

The next weekend Kaylen reminded himself of the plan during the car ride to the aquarium. When he got there he was too excited to stick to the plan and spent most of the time chasing Sugar around the tank like he had always done. He eventually calmed enough to sit near Sugar and wait for another shark to come under his fingertips. The biggest sand shark and the stingray swam right past Kaylen. He didn't reach out right away. He told himself he would touch them the next time they went by. Kaylen waited patiently for Sugar and felt comfortable when the tiny shark stayed within his reach. With Sugar so close, Kaylen was able to bring himself to pet the other animals. Feeling so proud of himself, Kaylen didn't get too upset when his parents told him it was time to go home. This surprised his parents and made them really proud and happy for him.

On the car ride home, his parents discussed the idea of Kaylen having a fish tank of his own to keep a pet at home. They told him how he would have responsibilities to care for the fish and they would help him in learning how. Kaylen loved the idea and asked if they could go to the pet store on the way home. His parents agreed and explained that if there was not a fish there that he liked, that it was ok and that they could check other pet stores until Kaylen found the pet he wanted. Kaylen thought it was a great plan and couldn't wait to get started. The first pet store they stopped at only had small goldfish and betta fish. Kaylen liked them but wanted something a little more exciting. The second pet store is where he found what he was looking for. His parents led him down the aisle to the aquarium filled wall. Kaylen saw many tanks of tiny sharks. There were a variety of bala sharks, iridescent sharks, red fin sharks, and even glow in the dark sharks. Kaylen spent time in front of each small aquarium watching the tiny sharks swimming. He knew none of them would compare to Sugar but he still loved the idea of having his own pet in his room. Kaylen waited in front of each tank and slowly put a finger to the glass. He left his finger there until finally the tiny shark swam up to the glass. Kaylen knew that was the shark he wanted. He told his parents and the pet store employee got the shark ready for its new home. After picking out the tank for his room and all the supplies they needed, they checked out and headed home.

His parents helped him set up the new fish tank and showed him how to let the plastic bag float in the water to help the shark get acquainted with his new home. After dinner, they would let the tiny fish into the tank. Kaylen was so excited. He knew he was going to take good care of his new pet. He debated on many different names, but chose the name Love, as it was what he felt. Before going to bed, Kaylen went to Love’s tank to say goodnight, and smiled as the small shark swam up to the glass.