Lost In Time

‘Do you fancy a cuppa, love?’ Dick asked, slowly pushing himself to his feet.

‘Oh, go on then,’ sighed his wife as she placed her knitting needles down for the first time in two hours, ‘if you’re popping the kettle on anyway.’

‘I most certainly am.’ Dick informed her, reaching out to squeeze her hand before shuffling his way to the kitchen.

Doris stretched her fingers out in front of her before making a fist, repeating the process a few times. She winced in pain. She couldn’t believe how quickly the years had passed. Mind you, the cold certainly wasn’t helping.

Leaning forward in her chair, she carefully moved the grate aside, placing another log onto the fire. The crackle made her smile. She’d always found an open fire quite endearing; it reminded her of her youth, camping with good company and star-spangled skies.

Nestled in her armchair once more, she snuggled under her blanket.

‘Warming your cockles?’ asked Dick, reappearing with two steaming mugs, ‘I could have done that for you, my love. You need only ask.'

Placing a cup of tea down beside her, he collapsed into the comfort of his armchair with a groan.

‘Thank you, dear.’ Doris smiled, ‘It’s certainly a good day for it.’

Dick leaned over, tucking her blanket in around her a little tighter.

‘Don’t fret, love. I have it on good authority that the snow won’t last much longer.’

‘Oh, I don’t mind. It’s quite pretty.’

‘That it is. That it is.’ Dick nodded.

‘We won’t run out of wood, will we?’

‘No, no. Andrew is dropping off some more tomorrow. Gosh, that reminds me, Julie phoned while you were taking your nap.’

‘She did?’

‘She did. She said she will bring the grandchildren over, next Tuesday week.’

‘Oh, that’ll be nice. Don’t forget to remind me to dig the piggy bank out. I’d be amiss if the children couldn’t get themselves some penny sweets.’

‘I don’t think you can buy sweets for a penny anymore, dear.’

‘You can’t?’

‘I don’t think so. I think it’s at least two bob these days,’ states Dick, pushing his glasses further up his nose.

‘Blimey. I guess gone are the days you can buy sweets with a shilling.’

‘Long gone, my love. Not to worry though, I’m sure we will be able to dig them something out.’

Doris watched while snow fluttered silently across the bay window, coming to rest on the thick blanket of white that covered Dick's well-maintained lawn. She thought about how quickly life progressed, listening to the wholesome sound of the fire sputter.

Dick slapped his thigh, snapping her out of her trance.

‘Look what I found earlier.’

For the first time all day, Doris felt warm inside as her husband produced one of their many photo albums from under the coffee table, one she hadn’t seen in years.

‘Good gracious,’ she exclaimed, ‘where on earth did you find it?’

‘In the shed, when I went to fill the log basket.’

‘Oh Dick, you shouldn’t be going out in this weather, it’ll flare up your arthritis.’

‘Can’t have you getting cold now, can we?’ said Dick, leaning towards her. Doris closed her eyes and smiled as he planted a dry kiss on his cheek. She picked up her tea; it was still too hot to drink, but she held it close anyway, letting the steam warm her face.

Dick shuffled in his armchair, dragging it closer. He looked down his nose as he adjusted his glasses, getting a better look at the old, leather-bound binder.

‘Let’s see what we have here,’ he muttered, opening the album. ‘Would you look at that!’ He said, delighted.

Doris leaned in and frowned at the blurry picture.

‘Glasses, love.’

‘Oh, blimey,’ She chuckled, collecting her spectacles from the front of her jumper where they hung safely on their chain. She popped them carefully on her face with one hand, mindful not to spill her tea.

She glanced back at the picture, her expression softened as her children came into focus, huddled on the floor before a Christmas tree, opening gifts. Their youthful faces caused a painful yearning to go back. Reminders of cold early mornings and gleeful young voices full of excitement echoed in her memory.

‘It really does fly, doesn’t it?’ She said softly. Dick squeezed her hand in agreement and turned the page.

He began to thumb through the album, blissful nostalgia filling their home.

‘My goodness, I remember that,’ he exclaimed, picking up the album and holding it at arm's length to get a better look. ‘That was Julie’s sweet sixteenth. Do you remember?’

‘How could I forget? The hours you worked to raise the money for that bloody dress,’ Doris reminisced as she sipped her tea, ‘nearly killed yourself getting her that frock.’

Dick chuckled, tracing his daughter's face with his finger. ‘Worth every penny. Just look at that smile.’

‘You’ve always been soft, my love.’ Doris smiled at him.

‘Nothing's ever too much for my girls,’ Dick answered lovingly, turning the page.

Half an hour passed quickly as the couple lost themselves in bittersweet memories.

‘Core blimey, look at my outfit,’ said Dick, stopping on a particularly amusing snap of them both in their late twenties.

‘That was during your Sinatra phase. You sure did look dapper. However, I’m not sure about that moustache,’ laughed Doris.

‘Gosh, all those years. All that laughter and all those tears. It's passed so quickly. Our entire lives in the confines of little leather-bound books,’ Dick quipped, lost in thought.

‘Hold up, what’s that picture?’

‘Which one?’

‘The one you just skipped,’ said Doris, reaching for the album, ‘Here, let me have a look.’

Dick frowned, deep in thought.

‘Love, maybe we should put the album away for a while. How about a rest? I’ve put the fluffy comforter on the bed. I could fetch you that book you like and you could have read instead?' He suggested.

‘Don’t be daft, pass it over.’

Dick hesitated before reluctantly placing the album on her lap.

‘Now, let’s see here,’ Doris adjusted her glasses as she licked her thumb, turning back through the pages. ‘Ah, here we are, found it! It’s a street BBQ, how lovely.’

'That's nice. How about that rest, love?'

‘Oh look, love. That’s... what’s her name... Ange! Ange Milton, who used to live across the road when the children were little, had a yappy little pup who would always steal the paper. You remember?’

Dick nodded.

‘Oh, and there’s Philip Masters and his wife. They were an odd couple, weren’t they? With their parties and their promiscuous ways - everyone knowing their business,’ said Doris, raising her brow.

‘Dear, maybe we shouldn't-‘

‘Who else have we got?’ She gleamed, muttering under her breath as she searched through a sea of faces.

‘Good lord.’ Doris muttered with disbelief.

Dick looked at the floor and shook his head.

‘I’m sorry, love. I didn’t know it was in there. I should have checked.’

‘That face,’ she muttered, ‘I had nightmares about that face for years.’

Dick took the book from her lap, snapping it shut.

‘It wasn’t your fault, dear. You need to forgive yourself,’ he pleaded, placing his hand on her shoulder.

‘You know, I can still see the look in his eyes, all these years later?’

‘The idiot shouldn’t have been in the road.’ Dick counselled.

‘I still think we should have told someone,’ Doris frowned. ‘His poor wife, waiting up all those nights for him to come home.’

‘He used to knock his poor wife around, love. She was daft for staying with him.’

‘He did?’ Doris gasped.

‘Absolutely. The guy was a bastard. I’m not saying he deserved it, but it was no great loss either.’

‘I guess,’ whispered Doris, sadly.

Dick grimaced as he knelt down before her and looked her in the eye.

‘Look, we did the right thing, love. We couldn’t help him, he was dead on impact.’

‘I should have turned myself in, but everything happened so quickly.’ Doris pained, her voice heavy with regret.

'Could you imagine what would have happened to the children if we’d gone to the police? Sweetheart, you’d been drinking. I wasn’t about to let them string you up for a few measly glasses of wine.’

‘I wish you would, at least, tell me where you buried him.’ She muttered, looking sorrowfully at the floor.

‘You don’t need to know, dear. I told you I would take care of it, and I did. Please, don’t let it burden you any more than it already has.'

Doris stared past him, gazing sadly out of the window; the snow had begun to billow in the wind, losing its calm.

‘I think I will have a little rest after all,’ she said quietly, the pain in her voice making Dick's heart ache.

‘That’s a good idea,’ Dick comforted, cautiously helping her to her feet. ‘Come along, love.’ He gestured, bending his elbow so she could lean on him as he led her down the hall to their bedroom. Removing her slippers, he gently lifted her legs onto the bed before carefully lowering her down onto the pillows.

She looked exhausted, her fragility seemingly increasing by the minute. Closing her eyes, she squeezed Dick's hand before drifting to sleep. Dick tucked her in. He prayed she would find peace as she slumbered. Leaning over her, he placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

His eyes brimmed with tears and he shuffled his way back to the lounge, picked up the photo album and searched for the offensive picture. He sighed heavily, sliding it out from underneath the plastic film.

Gripping it tight, he remembered how close he had come to losing everything. Even now, the memory haunted him. His wife screaming in shock, her future hanging in the balance with every second that ticked by. The sudden possibility of his children growing up without their mother. The headlights drawing closer in the distance, threatening to expose them. He'd had no choice. He would do anything to keep her safe. He had proved it. He hadn't even hesitated.

Dick's stomach dropped as he remembered the weight of the body over his shoulder. Shuddering, he tore the picture into pieces, throwing them into the fire.

They burned quickly, but he didn't notice. Walking over to the window, he watched the snow billow furiously across the garden. He thought about what lay beneath the earth and shivered.