Limericked

Introduction

We survived the plague of haiku, but only just. It seemed everyone was affected, and haiku were everywhere. Still, with careful action, society seemed to be returning to normal, or that seemed to be until rumours were heard of a new deadly addictive drug.

The Drug

The first reports were garbled, they weren’t sure what was happening, but it seemed once people had taken the drug they were totally addicted and then they tried to get others to take the drug. Everyone believed that they would be fine and in control, but they were wrong. After the first dose they were hooked, there was no going back.

The effects were that the addicts could not stop talking in limericks, and once someone got it they too were “limericked”. This was an unusual situation because the addicts were not the problem.

What The Problem Was

The people who did not get “limericked” became first of all withdrawn and then tried to avoid any addicts, but could not stay away because they did have to go out and buy things and work. That’s when the problems started.

The non-addicts were getting slowly aggravated by the constant limericks that they were being, they felt, assaulted by. Eventually, this resulted in the non-addicts visiting physical violence on the “limericked” because they could stand it any more and they had not themselves been infected, and the violence got quite intense with the “limericked” being hospitalised.

The police arrested them and put them in cells ready for trial. The police had their own limerick that they read to the violent criminals when they arrested them

You're Guilty Of A Heinous Crime

For That, You Will Have To Do Time

Now Hold Out Your Hands For The Cuffs

I Must Warn You This May Be Rough

Now Just Calm Down Mate, You’ll Be Fine

The aggressors were put in cells while they awaited their trial. Eventually, they came in front of the ”limericked” beak, with a “limericked” jury and were always found guilty. When they were in the dock some were subdued and others even got more aggressive so could not be let out. The judge read out the verdict to every non-addict. They were to be sent for rehabilitation to either become “limericked” or be able to deal with the “limericked” in everyday life without attacking anyone who was speaking in limericks.

The government gave up on trying to stop people from becoming “limericked” because they too were “limericked” now so there was absolutely no reason to do anything about it. Limericks were not the normal way of communication and anyone who did not use limericks was seen as an oddball, and sometimes as a threat.

The “non-limericked” started to be banned from public places, pubs, restaurants and even libraries. The Media portrayed them as the reason why the economy was tanking or any other national failure.

Back in the courtroom, the “non-limericked” person was being sentenced, awaiting their fate in the form of a limerick from the judge.

Of A Crime You Have Been Found Guilty

Your Sentence For This Deed Now Will Be

You Will Now Learn To Like Limericks

If Not You Will Spend Time In The Nick

At His Majesty’s Pleasure, You See

The “unlimericked” were then sent for rehabilitation and the ones who did not become addicted or accept the “limericked” were kept behind bars as they were seen as a danger to society.

Conclusion

Here is the Top Story “A Plague Of Haiku” referred to in the introductory paragraph of this story. The music is "The Trial" from "The Wall" by Pink Floyd.