Lilith Diaries

Dear diary,

Or, I suppose, anyone that stumbles upon this little journal. I can’t really stop you from reading, which is fine. I guess welcome to the unsolicited commentary on my life at the current moment.

I have decided to record what it's like to leave camp. Where I live is essentially a little mountain paradise, but it is less and less paradise as more babies are born. I'm not saying it's bad to have babies, but more mouths to feed, means we need to expand. *Sigh* Growing pains of a thriving society, amitite? Anyways, there are groups of us leaving to scout out what's left of the world.

Since I have yet to bear children, my chosen partner, Adam, and I have been sent on one of these trips. The first generation survivors like to romanticize it, but I didn't actively choose him as a lover. We were marked compatible with their hokey pokey software from the final days of memes, as most likely to get along and genetically fit compatible for strong children.

I mean don't get it wrong, we do get along, but we've been taking it slow because we're equally skeptical of the whole process. Plus, we were friends beforehand, best friends, and it's just like a tad off-putting to be told that, "you're now of safe child rearing age and prefrontal cortex development, go make babies."

Actually, you know what, there's a lot extra to unpack. Let me tell you about the world I live in. Basically, once upon a time, there was a perilous string of intense earthquakes and people stopped being able to have babies. Well okay, let me rephrase a bit. People tried for a long time to have babies, but most of the infants weren't making it much after birth. Unfortunately, the earthquakes didn't just rearrange the continents and kill millions. There was an incredibly invasive fungus released from some of the fault lines, which makes the air too difficult for their little lungs to breathe. The ones that do make it, carry a set of recessive genes that produced lungs strong enough to breathe air with this fungus we now perpetually live with.

Before I get too far, let me introduce myself. I am 26 years old, obsessed with animals, and I'm lactose intolerant. Betcha were going to offer me a glass of milk, weren’t you? Ahhhhh hahaha just kidding, it’s hilarious because all the cows are extinct. I know, I know, a wee bit dark, but everyone here insists on being so light and perfect since the end of the world. By default, I insist on being not perfect. That is a heavy ass burden and there is so much more to life than dumb knock-knock jokes. Dark humor is where it is at! Granted, I’ll probably be villainized in the future for my dark sense of humor, but my wolf dogs and barn owl think I’m hilarious so I have that going for me.

All things considered though, I’m pretty excited to leave and start this adventure. I get to do it with my best friend, dog pack, and owl. Weirdly enough, it feels meant to be. I’ve always been the “weird girl” in our little post apocalyptic society, and even though I get along well with most people I’m so ready to explore the world. Bonus, I don’t have to get knocked up in my mid-twenties and I can keep up training the animals I seem to befriend so easily. I’m excited to see what else has survived the seemingly fatal fungus.

It is also extremely intriguing to think about possible other human survivors we have not seen or met. There is no way we’re the only ones left, there has got to be other life and other ways of thinking outside our slice of heaven. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I have always seriously wondered how much of reality has been filtered through the past few years and generations.

There is so much to learn and experience and we leave tomorrow morning. I’ve never been more ecstatic for anything in my life.

‘til next time,

Lilith