Liability

You know there's a body somewhere inside the moment you open the door. Your nose adjusts to a lot of smells, but not this. I pinched some crumpled lavender from a jacket pocket and stuffed it under my makeshift mask, wiping some under my nose. This house had already been raided so I slipped straight past the kitchen. It wasn't food I was looking for. I avoided eye contact with the family photos on the walls and made my way upstairs. The creaking timber sent shivers up my spine. It always did. The first door on the right was already ajar, revealing a small, bloodied body on the single bed. I pulled my eyes away, but not before seeing the pierced shirt where the child's parents had put the knife. I made no judgments. I put down my backpack and rifled through the wardrobe. I took a spare fitted sheet and a small jacket. In the drawers I found more children's clothes: shirts, tights, pants, underwear. I took everything but the underwear. I moved on to the master bedroom. It had been stripped of almost everything useful. I found no clothes or sheets, just a small envelope containing cash under the mattress which I left. There was a large mirror in the room that I refused to acknowledge. I hesitated before nudging open the en suite door to find the main source of the odour. Two bloated bodies lay in freezing, red water, legs intertwined. There would have been a romantic element to the scene if it wasn't so repulsive. Still, I wondered if I'd ever feel as much as this pair felt in their final moments. I turned to check the cupboards for anything my predecessors may have left me when I saw two necklaces with heart-shaped lockets to the left of the sink. I instinctively went to open one but retracted my hand. I've become accustomed to tragedy but seeing the beautiful faces that once accompanied those decaying bodies could very well defeat me. I grabbed my bag and left. It wasn't a good haul, but I seldom expected good hauls anymore. I knew my livelihood would have to be amended soon.

Australia had two things going for it when it happened; lots of farmers and few guns. Unfortunately, it was all the farmers who owned the guns, so they had a monopoly on produce. Still, it kept the inner city potential for violence capped to arm's reach. Some say that's why most city folk chose to cooperate from day one, but I have another theory; good old fashioned Aussie-branded apathy. The desire to live seems to only surpass the disdain for effort by a hair. If it came down to a tooth and nail fight for our lives, a good deal of us would shrug and say we had a good run. For plenty, it had already been a good run before it came to a fight.

I had a few things going for myself. My townhouse boasted high walls and a rain water tank, but more importantly, I could sew by hand. Most luxuries could be abandoned in light of our new lifestyle limitations, but women still bled as women have always bled. I spent a good deal of my youth in passive excitement for a genderless future, only to have the end of the world take that dream from me. Sanitary items were gone from supermarkets the same day as toilet paper. I just did what made sense to me and sewed together some pads from old linen, boiling them between use and making more when they couldn't be cleaned anymore. I figured most women used cut rags or free bled, but many couldn't stand the discomfort. I soon became the local pad vendor. Who knew I'd make a living off exploiting women for their bodies? I preferred not to think about it. As the months went by though, decreased sales indicated a gradual acceptance of discomfort.

I still had the same housemates. There was no definable day on which to arrange an apocalyptic band of thugs based on merit, so I still came home to Gary and Wesley. We left most of the backyard farming to Wes. He was always the house plant guy, so he just kept doing it. I'd also bring him with me scavenging, though he'd often cycle off on his own to scout distant suburbs. I was confident in how threatening he could be with a knife in his hand, so I didn't let myself worry about his safety. Gary, on the other hand, was a strain on the house. We all knew it, even him, but we never said it. He answered the door and liaised with buyers for us; a job that Wes and I could easily manage. I told myself that three in a house is safer than two. But three heads also eat more than two. Today, that concern was removed on my return home.

"I was trying to haggle," Gary said in a panic, clumsily blotting an open wound on Wes' chest with a towel. "The guy got mad he... he only brought a can of something... we never go that cheap... I-I got scared and... well, and Wes he..."

I dropped my bag in the entrance, walked over to them and placed my hand over Wes' mouth.

"He's gone," I said, meeting Gary's eyes. He was gone and I knew it was Gary's fault. His mouth moved as though to say something but I didn't linger to find out what. I would have strangled him if I didn't walk away.

"Find somewhere to bury him," I said, closing the bedroom door behind me. I didn't hide the malice in my voice. A burning rage filled my body, a tingling in my fingers and searing in my head. Think-think-think-think...

I paced up and down my room deciding my next move. Five minutes of fleeting thoughts later, I knew what I had to do.

I found Gary rummaging in the yard. "I can't find the spade..."

"We don't have one, use the pickaxe. And go somewhere else to do it," I said flatly. He was visibly scared of me today. "I'm going out for a few hours and I don't intend to return alone. You no longer live here. Go join the military, or the farmers. Either will likely take you in. You have until morning." I turned to leave.

"Jo, wait..."

I didn't.

I'd have to convince the Berry St duo that my house and its features are worth adding an extra member to their party. I could pull my weight, whatever they needed me to do. I had good rapport with them. Now my life could be resting on that rapport. I guess today is the day I choose my apocalyptic band of thugs. I was a hairdresser before the seas rose and the animals died. Perhaps they're looking for one of those.