L.G. goes Ice Fishing

L.G. goes Ice Fishing

By Kami Bryant

Todd stood at the bank of the frozen pond. The far bank was directly behind the courthouse and crossing the frozen pond was the fastest way to come up behind the courthouse unseen. No one expected a threat to cross the pond, not with the “Beware! Danger! Thin Ice!” signs posted everywhere along the bank. Todd decided to risk it. He strapped the ice cleats to his waterproof leather work boots and set off.

“Morning,” called a voice to his left.

Startled, Todd froze. A big beautiful black woman sat on a chair, a hole cut out of the ice six inches in front of her feet, a pole grasped in her hand, the fishing line dangling in the water. She hadn’t been there a second before. Todd could see the entire frozen pond from where he stood earlier at the bank, before walking onto the ice. She hadn’t been there. She had just now appeared out of nowhere, which was impossible.

“What are you doing?” asked Todd in shock.

“Ice fishing,” answered the woman. She wore black knee-high boots, a navy pantsuit, which didn’t look warm enough for the weather, a pair of woolen grey mittens, a thick coat and a wool hat.

“You weren’t there a second ago,” said Todd flabbergasted. “I would have seen you.”

“Hmmm?” asked the woman. “I am sure you are mistaken. You can call me L.G. And you are Todd.”

“What? How do you know my name?”

“So, I was sitting here thinking of a story that someone told me recently,” said L.G. ignoring Todd’s question. “Do you want to hear it?”

“Who are you?” asked Todd.

“I already told you,” said L.G. “Now, listen to my story.”

***

My mother always said that it was bad luck to kill a spider in the house and so she let them live all over our house. They spun their webs in the corners and laid their eggs and she left them alone. My first memory is sitting in the bathtub as she washed my hair, looking up at a spider crawling down the shower tiles. A fluffy cotton ball of an egg sack rested in the corner. The white fluffy ball looked like candy and I wondered what it would taste like. As I imagined the sweet, fluffy taste of the divinity that the egg sack resembled, tiny baby spiders began to emerge.

They say that irrational phobias begin in childhood. A cotton ball can’t hurt you, but it isn’t the cotton ball that is so terrifying, but what it resembles, the spider egg sack. And now all I can see are those baby spiders crawling out of fluffy white cotton balls, that as a child I thought looked as sweet and airy as candy.

***

As the woman’s voice drifted off and her story drew to a conclusion, Todd’s eyes grew wide.

“Who are you?” he hissed.

“L.G.”

“How did you know about that? I’ve never told anyone about that!”

“Oh, are you saying that you have an irrational fear of cotton balls?” asked L.G..

“Who are you?!” screamed Todd, pulling the gun from the holster hidden by his heavy coat. “Who are you?!” he repeated, pointing the gun at the woman.

“Did you decide to become a hitman, because of your fear? Does it make you feel better about killing innocent people? Does it make you feel stronger?” asked Lawful Good.

“You need to start talking right now, Lady. Who sent you?”

“Listen to me, Todd. You can turn around and walk away right now. The girl that you have been sent to kill is sixteen years old. She saw her parents murdered and now she is about to testify and put away a man for that murder. She has her whole like ahead of her if she can only free herself from this horror. But someone has given you money to kill her before she can testify. Turn around right now and walk away, Todd. You have been given a choice. Choose good.”

“You know too much, Lady and now I have to kill you too,” answered Todd.

“You don’t have to kill anyone, Todd. Just turn around and walk away. Do the right thing. Choose good. Walk away.”

Todd shook his head and aimed the gun at Lawful Good. His finger squeezed the trigger, and he began to fire, when all of a sudden, the ice beneath his feet was no longer solid. The hole in the ice that had been in front of L.G. had grown and was now directly underneath Todd’s feet and he plummeted into the frigid water. The gun discharged as he fell. He fought against the icy water that enveloped him. His clothes became heavy with the water, and they dragged him deeper into the frigid depths. He fought against the water as the current pulled his body deeper. His lungs quickly filled with water as he opened his mouth to scream.

The Apothecary and True Neutral appeared on the ice as Lawful Good sat on her chair, the hole cut in the ice once more about six inches from her boots and only eight inches in diameter. Her fishing pole held in her mittened hands and the line dangling into the water.

The Apothecary wore jeans and a zipped-up hoodie and was not really dressed appropriately for the winter weather. True Neutral wore a bright pink mini skirt, black thick thigh high socks, heavy black platform boots, a pink wooly sweater, matching pink wooly mittens, and pink earmuffs and a leather jacket. Her pink and black hair was pulled into her favorite pig tails.

“What are you doing?” asked the Apothecary.

“Ice fishing,” answered L.G.

“You cheated,” said the Apothecary. “You drowned the guy.”

“He fell into a hole in the ice and then he drowned technically,” said True Neutral. “He shouldn’t have been walking around on a frozen pond. An innocent soul is safe, and she can go ahead and testify and put away her parent’s killer. And maybe try to live her life free of nightmare.”

“But, she cheated,” said the Apothecary. “She is supposed to convince him not to kill someone, not kill him herself.”

“I am going to call this one a draw,” said T.N. “An innocent person is saved, not to mention all of Todd’s future victims.”

“She cheated!” shouted the Apothecary in disgust. She turned away from her sisters and disappeared.

A chair appeared beside L.G. and True Neutral sat down beside her sister.

“Catch anything?” T.N. asked with a nod to L.G.’s fishing pole and line.

“No,” answered LG.

“Sidonglobophobia, fear of cotton balls,” mused True Neutral. “What an obscure phobia.”

The End