Isolation

I hide behind Ezra as Ryker throws open the door to the therapist’s office. Ryker freezes in his tracks looking like a deer in the headlights. Ezra steps up beside Ryker making sure I am still behind him.

“Why are the police here?” Ezra whispers to Ryker.

“I don’t know but get her out of here,” Ryker whispers back.

“You must be here to interrogate Uriah,” one of the police men say stepping forward as I peek in between the boys.

“What’s it to you?” Ryker asks.

“I’m his boss,” the cop says, looking at me.

“How can you be his boss when he’s just a dirty criminal?” Ryker asks, stepping in front of me.

“Come in and let me explain and don’t bother trying to get her out of here,” the cop says as Ezra steps back.

“You leave her out of it,” Ryker says, shielding me with his body.

“If you wanted her left out of it you shouldn’t have brought her,” the cop says going back to his seat.

“I told you to leave her home,” Ryker hisses to Ezra as they step inside.

“I think I’m gonna stay out here,” I say, stepping backwards.

“Just do as he says,” Ryker says, taking my hand.

“I don’t want to go in there,” I say as I try tugging my hand out of Ryker’s grip.

“Rae don’t do this,” Ryker whispers in my ear as he bends down to pick me up.

“Come Rae, you can sit next to me,” Ezra says, patting the spot next to him on the couch.

I wrap my arms around Ryker’s neck as he carries me over to the couch. Ryker sets me down next to Ezra and then sits on the other side of me.

“That’s better. My name is Lorenzo,” the cop says.

“I don’t think he’s a cop,” I whisper to Ryker.

“I don’t think so either,” Ryker whispers back.

“Uriah called me after you left and told me that he thought you guys might blow his cover,” Lorenzo says.

“What cover?” Ryker asks.

“He’s an undercover cop,” Lorenzo says.

“For some reason I don’t believe that’s true,” Ezra says.

I look at the desk where Uriah is sitting. He looks back at me with worry in his eyes. I poke Ezra in the side trying to get his attention.

“Ow. What was that for?” Ezra asks, almost jumping out of his skin.

“Can I give Uriah a hug?” I ask Ezra.

“Ummmm, I guess if you really want to,” Ezra says confused.

I get up and go over to Uriah and hug him, ignoring Ryker’s protest. Uriah slips a piece of paper into my pocket as he hugs me back. I skip back over to the couch and sit down.

“What? I wanted to show him that I forgave him,” I say as Ryker glares at me.

“Why?” Ryker asks.

“Back onto topic,” Lorenzo says before I can answer.

“But I’m tired, can't we do it tomorrow?” I ask, faking a yawn.

“You can nap while we talk,” Lorenzo says.

“NO,” I yell angrily.

“Rae don’t do it,” Ryker says, scooting slightly away from me.

I ignore Ryker and let out a wail from the depths of my soul. I let free all my frustration and throw it into having the biggest tantrum I’ve ever thrown.

“Fine, you can go. Just get her out of here,” Lorenzo says as he covers his ears.

Ryker quickly scoops me up and leaves with Ezra following me. As soon as we are out of the building I stop throwing the tantrum. Ryker sets me on my feet and looks at me. I ignore him and skip back towards our place. Ryker and Ezra follow me. We go inside and I sit on my bed. Ryker and Ezra both sit in chairs at the table.

“What in the world was that?” Ryker asks.

“A tantrum,” I say as I pull the paper out of my pocket.

“How did you manage that?” Ezra asks.

“Easy, you reach into the depths of your soul and scream out all the frustration you have built up,” I say, calmly as I read the paper.

Ryker stares at me open mouthed in surprise. I hand Ezra the paper and watch as Ezra reads it.

"If this is correct our therapist is not a therapist but is being blackmailed," Ezra says, handing it to Ryker.

I shrug as Ryker reads it. I lay down on my bed and stare at the ceiling. I hear Ryker and Ezra whispering but don't pay close enough attention to hear what they're saying. I close my eyes and put my headphones on.

I hum along to the music, not noticing when they leave. I soon fall asleep. I wake up hours later I look at the time and realize it's the middle of the night. I sigh and get up. I pull out the paint cans that Ryker picked up so I could paint my walls.

I change into a stained shirt and ripped shorts. I play my music through a speaker and start opening the cans. I start painting trying to make my mind settle so maybe I can get more sleep.

I step back an hour later and look at the wall. I cross my arms trying to figure out how to get the forest mural to look real. I go into the closet and take down the wooden rods used to hang my clothes on. I'll have to figure out something else to do with my clothes.

I pull out my knife carving set out from under the bed and get to work carving out tree branches. A couple hours and a half dozen nicks to my hands I feel accomplished. I look at the branches and then at the mural. I yawn as I stand up and walk over to the wall. I hear the door open but ignore it as I start painting the shadows of the trees.

"I wouldn't touch those they aren't dry," I say without turning around.

"They look real," Ryker says.

"Yes and if you don't want me to hit you I would back up and not touch them," I say, turning around and crossing my arms.

Ryker looks over at me and notices my hands.

"Rae, why do your hands look like that?" Ryker asks.

"It's the price of wood carving," I say as I head into the bathroom to wash.

"I thought we agreed on no sharp objects," Ryker says as he leads against the doorway.

"You talked, I nodded my head. That doesn't mean I heard a word you said," I say flinching as the water hits the cuts.

"Rae you promised," Ryker says as he grabs the first aid kit.

"And I didn't self harm. Trust me I cut the tip of my thumb off once while trying to carve a wolf for class," I say following him to the table.

Ezra walks in as Ryker is wrapping my hands. I smile at him as he sets breakfast down on the table.

"Do I even want to know?" Ezra asks.

"Little miss decided to carve herself some tree branches for her wall," Ryker says.

"Worth the pain," I say, as I grab a plate of food.

"Really?" Ryker says as he also grabs a plate.

“Uh, yeah,” I say, as I roll my eyes.

“They’re pretty cool,” Ezra says as he plops down on my bed.

“What time did you wake up this morning?” Ryker asks.

“Doesn’t matter,” I mumble, my mouth full of food.

“Hey we helped out the stupid therapist,” Ezra says, changing the topic.

“Is he okay?” I ask.

“Yeah, Uriah is fine but he’s not gonna be your therapist anymore,” Ryker says.

“What if I do it online? That way they can’t see my face and I can use a fake name so there’s no chance that it can be traced to me,” I ask.

“That’s a smart idea,” Ryker says.

I smile as I pick the trash from breakfast and throw it away. I watch as Ryker pulls out his phone and starts typing. I hear Ezra's phone ding from my bedside table and I freeze. I quickly put on my headphones as Ryker turns towards me. I play a louder song ignoring him.

I pick up my paintbrush and start working on the wall again. I keep painting without noticing that they left. I hum along to my song when my playlist starts playing a song my father used to sing to me. I stare into space as memories of happier times flood my mind. I take off my headphones and throw them at the wall. I hear them break but I don’t care.

I let out a choked sob as my brain remembers how kind and loving my father was before he became mean and cruel. I slowly sink to the floor and wrap my arms around myself. I start crying hard wondering how I could love a man who was so cruel.

“Hey, shhhhhh,” I hear Ryker say as he wraps his arms around me.

I turn to him and cry harder as I hug myself tighter. Ryker pulls me in close and holds me as I cry. I slowly stop crying as I feel numb. I go to stand up but Ryker won’t let go of me. Ryker stands up with me in his arms and walks over to my bed.

He lays me down and then tucks the blanket around me. I am worn out from crying so hard and it doesn’t take me long to fall asleep. I wake up a bit later but can’t bring myself to move. I feel numb and like there’s no reason to try. I hear the door open but don’t bother looking to see who it is.

“Hey Rae. Did you want to talk about it?” Ryker asks, sitting next to me and rubbing my back.

I shake my head and curl up into a ball. Ryker sighs and gets up.

“I know you’re hurting Rae but you can’t give up,” Ryker says.

I silently shrug and don’t get up. I hear him sit down at the table. I pull the blanket over my head. The depression is taking over and I can’t bring myself to do anything. A few days pass and I don’t get up. Not even to eat. By the fourth day I hear a voice I don’t recognize as the door opens.

“I know it was dangerous to bring you here but I’ve run out of options. She won’t eat or drink anything,” Ryker says.

“Ryker, I will figure it out,” a female voice says.

“But,” Ryker starts.

“No buts. An elf can survive longer than humans without food,” she says interrupting Ryker.

“Mom, she's not an elf. If she was an elf she wouldn’t be in this bad of shape,” Ryker says.

“She’s half elf and that’s enough,” she says as I hear her come closer.

She kneels on the floor beside the bed and looks me in the eye. I go to cover my face with the blanket but she stops me.

“Darling you can’t keep going like this,” she says.

“I’m not any part elf,” I whisper my voice rough.

“Yes you are,” she says, handing me a glass of water.

I shake my head and then gulp down the water. She helps me sit up.

“My name is Lilia or you can call me mom. Whichever is more comfortable,” Lilia says.

“If you think I’m gonna talk to you, you’re lying to yourself,” I say slowly standing up.

“Will you at least eat something,” Lilia asks as she catches me.

“It’s my body, my choice,” I growl, pushing her away.

She stumbles back letting go of me. I fall flat on my face, my legs unable to hold me up. I growl and try to get up but my body is too weak from not eating. Ryker steps forward to help me up. I grab his arm in a tight grip and slowly stand back up.

“Fine. I’ll eat but I want pizza,” I say.

“Are you sure?” Ryker asks.

I nod as Lilia helps Ryker get me to the table. They carefully sit me in a chair. Ryker steps outside to order and Lilia sits across from me. I recognize the look on her face. It’s the same one my mom would give me when I wouldn’t tell her about the bruises.

“Fine. It was a song that held a lot of memories,” I mumble, resting my head on the table, my face throbbing.

“Can you tell me more?” Lilia asks.

“Not till you get me an ice pack,” I growl my voice muffled by the table.

“Ezra,” Lilia hollers.

“Yeah mom?” Ezra asks, poking his head out of my closet.

“She needs an ice pack,” Lilia says.

“On it,” Ezra says, going out the door.

I groan and don’t move. I can tell my nose is bleeding but I don’t care. I feel Ryker standing behind me.

“You need to sit up, I have to check your face,” Ryker says.

“If I say no?” I mumble.

“Rae,” Ryker says.

“Fine,” I groan as I slowly sit up.

“Geeze,” Ryker says, scrambling for a cloth.

“I’ll get the med kit,” Lilia says heading for the bathroom.

I feel Ryker pressing a cloth to my nose and try not to panic. I close my eyes tight enough that I’m seeing spots of color. I try to slow my breathing, not liking the cloth pressed against my nose.

“Why don’t you just kill me?” I yell, forgetting not to panic and trying to get the cloth off my face.

“Because I don’t want to,” Ryker says as he tries to hold me still.

“I got the kit,” Lilia says as Ezra comes in.

“All of you stop,” Ezra hollers, making us all freeze.

Ezra comes over and takes the cloth from Ryker. Ezra gently dabs my nose making sure the bleeding is stopped. He hands me the ice pack.

“Press this against your forehead. You have a nasty bruise forming,” Ezra says as he takes the med kit from his mom.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, my body shaking as I try to calm down.

“No reason to be sorry. You busted your face pretty good falling. And before you ask I say it all. I’ve been camping out in your closet just in case you needed anything,” Ezra says as he cleans off my face making sure I don’t have any really bad wounds.

“I can’t breathe,” I say as I try to breathe.

“You’re having a panic attack. I need you to find something to focus on and count backwards from ten,” Ezra says as he finishes cleaning me up.

I try to do as he says but can’t concentrate. My breathing starts to speed up and my ears ring. I try my hardest to focus on Ezra’s face trying to read his lips. I can tell he’s counting and I focus all my energy on that. Slowly I calm down and lay my head back down on the table.

“Hey pizza is here,” Ryker says as someone knocks on the door.

“I don’t want any,” I groan.

“Oh c’mon I got it for you,” Ryker says, sounding a bit disappointed.

“Fine one piece,” I say slowly sitting up.

‘Yes,” Ryker says, as he puts a plate in front of me with one slice.

I take a nibble but put it down. I pull my hood up and duck my head. I try to ignore all their stares as I try to eat the slice. I give up after a couple bites. I slowly get up and make my way to the bathroom.

“Rae where are you going?” Lilia says.

“Away from you guys,” I growl my head throbbing.

I hear them all trying to talk at once and ignore them. I close the bathroom door and lock it. I slowly slide to the floor and lean against the door. I lift up one of the floor tiles and pull out a small box. I hear someone knocking on the door and growl at them to go away.

I open the box and pull out a pair of scissors. I take a deep breath to steady myself. I start cutting off my hair until it is above my ears. I sigh and look at my legs. I have scars from years past. I slam the scissors down so they stab into the floor.

“Go away,” I yell at whoever is pounding on the door.

I start crying as I remember all the promises my father made. I don’t know when it all went wrong but when it did go wrong, it went wrong fast. My heart feels like it’s shattering as I stand up. I lean against the bathroom counter and try to open the cabinet above the sink.

I scream in frustration as I slam my fist into the mirror shattering it. I start grabbing my meds and dumping them in the toilet. I hear the door unlocking as I flush the toilet. I don’t pay attention to who it is as they drag me away from the toilet. I don’t even have the strength to struggle as they pick me up and take me to my bed. I close my eyes and slowly drift to sleep, the little energy I had spent quickly.