If I ever wish to become something

Memoria was her name. Henry was his name. Starfish Island was the place that encountered the both of them.

- That’s not actually true, I don’t really believe you, Memoria smiled while she was listening to her colleagues mentioning about the history or the myth of the island.

- Of course it is, that’s why there are so many starfishes here, Melinda continued, trying to keep a straight face.

The fact of the matter was, Memoria was coming from a heritage of family witches and she knew that it was facts not fiction what she had just heard, that love potions are possible but if she would start vocalizing her actual thoughts, she would most certainly never be invited by her rich friend’s group on a private yacht on a trip on a small island in the Caribbean Sea. People like her colleagues or pretended friends were pragmatic, balanced in their thinking and acting in society and their nonchalance about mystical stuff was definitely the euphemism for their hidden pretension. They were making her a companion of theirs simply because affluent people like themselves knew they had to have a steady display of benevolence towards all walks of life but particularly towards the needful ones, such as the 26 years old dark curly haired, olive skin toned Romanian village girl born and raised, avid dreamer and believer, Memoria.

- You know what Memo?, Fiona, one of the richest of them all, who was secretly interested in the esoteric but was mainly teasing her friends about it to get a glimpse of how she would look in their eyes if she ever would entrust them with her discoveries in that field, started her monologue. You look so beautiful in your bathing suit; you should take it off and give the starfishes a pleasant view. That way our friends here will stop with this nonsense that it isn’t real what Melinda just said. Of course, you need to swim a bit farther so that the men here won't fall in love with you. We would not want them to become starfishes themselves, would we?

A fake smile inundated Memoria’s face. She said:

- Actually, I will take a swim, of course, that’s just to prove to all of you that it is real. I’ll meet you back at the hotel, okai, I will definitely be in the company of my soon to be found lover, you know?

Melinda, Fiona, Max, Gary and Richard saluted her boldness or what they considered as boldness taking into consideration the discussion while Memoria helplessly could not stop thinking at the “what ifs”.

She grabbed her stuff, mostly purchased by the cast of friends that were left behind who so kindly and genuinely uninterested in her overall looking but needing to maintain the idea that no pauperised person managed to intrude their sophisticated lot, secured her some garments that would be deemed faithful to the affluent ones she was now in company of and who saved her from her scarcity life. She headed towards the cliff to hide her plump body that most of the times was the joke of people because as we know, society expects every young woman in her middle 20s to look slim and elegant and sexy, sexy as in “to have the potential to be sexualised”. Maybe that’s why she was chosen as the group’s project. There was no way none of their other wealthy friends to ever end up with the likes of her. She was not attractive but who is to say what is attractive? Beauty is subjective.

The cliff was definitely stunning. She was able to hide from the hot sun while enjoying its warmth through the cliff's shadows, and she was able to be unseen by her group of friends or colleagues or whatever they called themselves to her and at the same time she was able to see them. To spy on them through the cracks. They were so joyous, they looked young, exquisite, actually they were young and looking amazing. Gym-toned and all. But she was young too.

Memoria had this idea that if she played her part long enough she might eventually find out a secret that would make their world crumble and this way she would not feel as alone. And they would find comfort that she is actually the best thing it ever happened to them. And she would finally be happy. She will be happy that she was born poor while always taken for a fool but eventually she would not to be marginalised as they too had encountered their flaws and awful ones, at least that’s what she imagined it to be.

- Apologies Miss, this is my usual spot here, do you mind if I join you? I don’t mean to intrude but really, I am in love with this piece of beach and the spectacular view of this particular spot, Henry light-heartedly commented.

- I am sorry, I did not know I would affect someone by staying here. This is my first day on Starfish Island, as usual Memoria started a conversation by defending herself.

- That’s really no trouble for me, I don’t mind the company of you, I just did not mean to sound too much for you. So, then, my name is Henry, Henry smiled and offered his hand.

- I am Memoria, she said in a shy smile.

- Surely never heard that name before. It sounds beautiful. Melodious. Flowing like a river, Henry curiously uttered.

Memoria found herself dragged in this carefree conversation with the stranger Henry and totally forgot about her gloom and doom.

-How I chose this island?, well, I didn’t, my friends/colleagues did. We work together on a project and they had been here before so I joined them for like a week-end retreat, Memoria stated.

-And they are…? Henry inquired.

-They are there, Memoria showed towards their towels and their jolly faces in the left opposite direction, not that far away from them.

-I needed some alone time so…, Memoria murmured while gesticulating at the ocean and the place.

-Ah, yes, in this special place, it’s a rarity to be alone and enjoy the solitude, Henry approached her. Have your guides given you the verbal tour of history of the place?

-Oh, that was the highlight up until I decided to come here.

-Well, Memoria, I apologise if you have been explained this, however as a commuter to this place you should know it’s notable mainly for its folklore and I think that’s just beautiful, Henry said trying to accommodate a GenZ meme.

Memoria looked at him with surprise, he surely did not seem the type to know about that kind of stuff. He looked older than her, she could not exactly tell by how much, he had a moustache that she found a bit too much for the heat of the setting and his plump lips were in total opposition with her slender ones. Why she would make such a comparison is not entirely a rationale, Memoria’s train of thoughts was always heading in that sort of direction of scanning & separating items/ideas/traits etc. She felt both feminine and unfeminine when paired with him in the scene. She could imagine a photograph taken by Melinda, the group’s & company’s social media manager, she would say that her plump body compliments the slim figure of the guy and that the photo is perfect to illustrate the lure of life, for life is nothing than a collision of perfections with imperfections, and by this metaphor she was the definition of imperfection, of inadequacy, while the man besides her, merry Henry, with his astute social manner and healthy body was the representation of supremacy. In other more misogynistic views, aka Max’s, that would mean something a lot more.

-And you believe this to be true? Memoria examined Henry’s non-verbal gestures.

-Of course, life is all but full of surprises, unexpected surprises. Should you speak of the unknown, you make it become known. And life is to be known, Henry conveyed with his bright big eyes. I believe in nature and everything it offers, which is mainly The Unknown.

-My friends dared me, correction "joked" around telling me to go naked in the ocean so that the men would fall in love with me and become starfishes. As opposite to the island's myth, which stated that men became starfishes if they did not fall in love with whomever they were supposed to. The men in general, the men in my team don’t really find me appealing to them, she said to Henry as if trying to get an opinion. What would the myth witch comment on that?, Memoria dared him.

But what Memoria did not know was that Henry himself was a sort of a wizard, he was indeed a shaman, someone who practices magic or sorcery for purposes of healing, divination, and control over natural events and that's why Henry believed in and relied upon nature's infinite resources. He believed in everything and in nothing. Life was just full of surprises and he would let himself be charmed by all abundance and beauty of the world, and of its experiences, such as the delight of Memoria’s encounter. He saw in her the innocence of times, the perfume of unknown which he found essential to be master of, after all his mantra was to participate in the world’s wisdom, to involve himself in the unknown in order to unravel it for himself and for the other joiners of life.

-Usually, in here, Henry elucidated, starfishes are symbols of renewal and regeneration as you know the starfish can regenerate their limbs and grow new arms and so it’s also a token for healing and transformation and guidance as its distinctive shape leads people in the right direction and helps them find their own way. When you go into the ocean and find yourself surrounded by all those starfishes, it’s probably at first a bit scary, I know it was for me, my very first time, as with all first times it is in life, but you know that it’s very rare to find poisonous starfishes here, and they mostly don’t attack people anyways, so as I was saying, when you are in their realm, it’s the beauty that strikes first, the wildness and the mystery of the ocean and all that it contains, the unknown.

-But Henry, I am not afraid of the ocean, or of the starfishes. I know I am not supposed to touch it. Just admire it, which is something I kind of find strength and allurement in. It’s like in life, or for some people, don’t intrude them and let them be, why force yourself into them and their space just because you find it pleasing or that you feel you deserve to enjoy that view or person or something about that person, you know? Memoria openly remarked as she grasped for air.

-Oh, I am sorry Memoria, I hope you don’t say that with regards to our encounter! I am most definitely not trying to invade you or make you feel uncomfortable! Henry asserted.

Memoria blushed as this was not her intention. Clearly this was a misunderstanding and she wanted to be in his company, she found him healing to her nerves and he would bring so much serenity to her mind so she found herself saying:

-No, no, Henry, not you, we should get into the water and find a starfish or 2 or more and carry on the conversation in that realm, that way we are on common ground!

-Oh, Memoria, brilliant idea!

The ocean water sparkled like diamonds in the sun, like that Rihanna song “Shine bright like a diamond” and Memoria found herself thrilled to welcome the cool mist of the waves and she felt embraced both by the sun rays & the never ending ocean water. Henry sensed her relaxation and asked her:

-Do you know why the witch traded the pearl of the ocean she stole for the starfishes’ freedom?

-The story says that the starfish could be used in her potions as a magical ingredient for love spells and if the man intended for, was not going to fall in love with whoever the spell buyer was, then he or she would become a starfish, right? Memoria deciphered, and the Princess of the ocean was able to make her believe that if the pearl is not restored back to the ocean, then the starfishes would peril and well, they would be useless in her work of love arts, but in fact, the pearl of the ocean was making that the ocean gave regenerative powers to the starfish so that they would heal themselves. My friends joked that the reason there are so many starfishes here, is because the spells did not work out and men who did not fall in love with their intended ones, were transformed into starfishes who were then again used as ingredients for the evil magics, like a vicious circle.

-See, it’s the people that hear the story that make it look like there is evil and good. The assumption is that the Princess is the good and the witch is the evil. The witch wants to hold the power of the ocean that shelters the starfishes who offer the healing and transformative gifts, and by having that privilege, she is like a starfish, able to regenerate, to heal, to transform, to guide people and to remind them of these magical powers, maybe even find love. The witch wants the same thing as any other being, just like the Princess, she wants to have the power of renewal, growth, resilience and adaptability and magical mysterious force of the ocean, she wants to change her life, she wants to live as or to be like the Princess. When people say the word "witch", the belief is inherently destructive. And when you say the word "princess" the assumption is inherently good, because who has ever heard of an evil princess? I know I haven’t. And so, the idea is that in nature there are always exchanges, the witch took the pearl because it was beautiful, as we all know, the witch isn’t something portrayed as beautiful, rather as something despicable, that’s what we have been told and “they have lived happily ever after” with this in their mind, people I mean, just like in the fairies, Henry amused himself while eyeing Memoria’s gentle walk in the ocean water.

-So, the Princess finds that the pearl is missing. Each to their own agendas, the witch has no bad intention, she just likes the way it looks because she is ugly, she wants something beautiful, opposites attracts and the starfishes she uses in her rituals, isn’t that a bad behaviour? Memoria’s inquisitive mind voices out.

-Well, that may very well be made up so as to make the story plausible for the good and evil concept. You see, there’s exchanges in nature, just like we shared that spot on the beach near the cliff, it wasn’t mine to take when you arrived there and it wasn’t yours just because you arrived before me this day. It’s ours. In order for the beach to heal both of us with its warmth and all its beauty, we need to engage in a friendly manner, to share and be understanding of each other's needs, which are common, right, we both are here for a retreat.

-So you are basically saying that the witch is not necessarily evil, she may very well be a good one, so that’s why she gave the pearl back? Because they share the ocean, which belongs to the starfishes? And they both enjoy the starfishes, each making use of them?

-Yes, Memoria.

-The starfish is the beach? Like the metaphor of this story of yours, then? Memoria glimpsed Henry.

-It is the whole island. It’s a reason it’s called the Starfish Island, Henry explained smirking.

-That makes no sense whatsoever! Memoria complained. Why are there mentions of the starfishes in the story then?

-The starfish is the symbol of the island, they have always been here and always will be, a princess or a witch, just like humans, they will eventually die. But starfishes never cease to exist. Just like this beach.

-What about global warming? Memoria grinned.

-Ahh, but that’s the beauty of the unknown. Memoria, listen to this, the starfish is the symbol of transformation, from one thing to another. Hear me out, the witch IS the Princess. We humans have both traits in ourselves, the negative, the positive, the witch and the Princess. We also have the in between and we flip from one side to the other all the time, in all occasions we can choose the good or the bad. The starfish is neutral, you cannot say that the beach is good or evil, there is no such thing in nature, just like you cannot blame the starfish for stinging you if you touch it, you know you should not do that, the starfish will protect itself, if you leave it alone and co-exist, it will not be threatening to you. Similarly, the beach will be awful for you if you do not bring a towel to separate you from the hotness of the sand, but it will be wonderful for you if you do bring that towel. The starfish is the witch's portal to becoming a princess, which is the ultimate goal of any witch, to be beautiful so that she can be loved. What is the ultimate desire if not to be loved? The starfish can make that happen.

Memoria liked this tale, mainly because she understood that merry Henry was her starfish, her portal to loving herself exactly as she was. If you don't love yourself, how could others find you attractive?, she was asking herself. Afterall, attractiveness is subjective.

-Memoria, who is your new friend?, Fiona appeared out of thin air in the ocean water near the two of them and asked beaming with curiosity.

-Oh, hello, my name is Henry, and who might you be?, Henry got up from the water where he was sitting down with Memoria to make acquittance. As Memoria gathered from his tone of voice and gentle eyes and movements and overall behaviours, he was always friendly, he never seemed to judge anyone.

He was the beach holding the good and the evil together in a balance, because how could one evolve and desire to become better, how could one wish to grow if one would not overcome one's troubles?

Merry Henry was always friendly because one never knew who else was in need of a shaman. One never knew who else needed to see the starfish and to see through the starfish at their Princess potential image.

Memoria was her name. Henry was his name. The Starfish Island was the place that made their encounter possible, because sometimes, The Unknown life surprises make it so that the starfish can be any one of us, if we wish so.