If coffeeshop walls could talk...

If walls could talk, I would say, “stop painting me with your snot, little boy!” Then tell your dog to “stop peeing on me; I’m not a hydrant.” Next, I’ll watch an employee spray bleach and Windex on me to clean me up. The employee’s coffee-stained rag smeared the bleach and Windex around and got some brown stains. That better be coffee he’s spreading around on me. I’ll smell like a wet dog for a while. Thanks, kid.

In the afternoons, I could tell you about the fights between sports fanatics complaining about Sunday’s games, a “come on, you Rangers” or “move out, you Patriot!” No one loves a good brawl like me. When the hot coffee comes splashing, the fists come swinging! Numerous people have gone one-on-one against me, and many ended up in the ER needing a cast. Don’t let this white angelic face fool you; I pack one mean barricade.

In the evenings, I would tell the dude in a white t-shirt and jeans not to put his half-chewed piece of gum on me because he was too preoccupied with his vanity to think of his breath ten minutes earlier before his date arrived. They invented trashcans for a reason, man. I would then let you say hello to your date with some crumbs still stuck on the side of your mouth. Anyway, coffee makes your breath stink. Why are you taking a date here? Put a bit of oomph into your next date spot, dude. After giving the t-shirt guy a piece of my mind, I would tell Gemma, the girl in a blue dress sitting next to me, to swipe left on him, her, and them. Maybe a right on that one; she’s pretty hot. I can also tell you that Cassie, over there scribbling hearts all over her notebook, cheated on her algebra homework with a text from Mike. Puppy love must start somehow, right?

If walls could talk, I would tell you all the secret meetings between that workaholic man and his secretary, moonlighting as his wife. Or how about the engaged CEO over there? She’s with the office IT guy. They are past the “did you try turning it on and off?” phase. Coffee is for everyone, even adulterers.

How about all the celebrities that have walked in? Hugh and Ryan are friends and troll each other’s social media! Psst, it’s true; Wolverine is returning to the big screen!

I could tell you about the more positive things that have happened here, like how John proposed to Sam with a “will you marry me?” latte art or how about George asking the barista to shove a ring inside the pumpkin muffin? Some people know how to pull all the tricks when proposing!

My four walls have seen the changes in this beautiful city! I watched terror and fear run by the windows of my shop twenty-one years ago. On that day, I watched selfless men and women risk their lives for those they had never met. I watched the ashes paint the storefronts and streets gray. I watched as first responders rushed towards the wreckage for survivors. I watched the city that never sleeps fall. With the bad comes the good. I watched New Yorkers unite and rebuild. Thirteen years later, a beautiful glass skyscraper opened its doors as the One World Trade Center building. A modern display of architecture, the One World Trade Center is a majestic reminder of how resilient New Yorkers are and how adaptable we will become.

I would never trade my location for any other site. In what other city would you get a little bit of comedy, horror, and romance? Nowhere like the city that never sleeps!