Idle Gods in a Love-lost Land

How corny is it, to be the couple that met at a wedding, to fall in love at first sight, to meet your forever and be struck at once by their divine brilliance? I can hardly believe it myself, though the facts of it all culminated in the child I’m cradling to my chest…

Luz rubbed where the baby’s foot kicked, looking down from the laptop that contained over a hundred of these little snippets. Feeble attempts to calm her nerves, the so-called “Affirmative Visualizations” were one of many suggestions Belén had offered up to the everlasting waves of anxiety that plagued the mother-to-be. Hoping to stuff down the rising tide of what if’s that welled up within her, Luz thought back to her first encounter with Belén.

She’d only begun HRT a few months earlier, Luz would learn later. Both had barely reached legal drinking age, a good thing too as the wedding sported an open bar for the evening. Luz’s cousin, Victor, was the lucky man, and Belén’s on-again-off-again boyfriend, brother to the bride, had sauntered off together to smoke a celebratory cigar, leaving the women to chat. A foolish move, in hindsight.

*******

We sat alone at the card table, which was all dressed up for the night with a new daisy plastered plastic cover, making small talk and laughing as the children took over the dance floor. They celebrated their conquest with repeat performances of “I Like to Move It.” When chants of Uno Mas! filled the air, Belén sighed. A long, drawn out thing, as though she were some beast of burden. She offered to grab me something to “dull the pain,” and when I nodded she slipped away. Adults, anxious to wrest back control of the dance floor, crowded the perimeter; neither of the men showed any sign of return, so I contented myself by watching as Belén walked to the bar.

She shook her hips to the bass as the music restarted. The children cried out in victory at getting their song played for a third time. I blushed when I realized that Belén had looked back while I was still staring. She gave me a fox’s grin and a final shake. Even though the dress she wore was from Walmart (I’d seen the green and black hexed thing while grabbing some tights) I couldn’t help but admire her figure. The bartender pulled her attention away, thankfully; I shifted and studied the yellow daisy in front of me with the intensity of a botanist in training. I didn’t dare look anywhere else.

When she sat back down I looked up, a sheepish grin offered in apology. Only, it was Enrique, not Belén, who’d rejoined me. “She can be a real bitch, right? I’m about to break up with her, you wanna ditch this joint with me after?” He belched, letting a cloud of Corona breath loose. It reeked.

I declined his offer with an indifferent “no thanks,” standing to leave.

His face flashed, a smolder that coincided with a grab of my wrist.

“C’mon mamacita, you can stay right here. It’ll be quick!”

He tugged at my wrist but must’ve been sloppy drunk already, I pulled away with ease. I slapped him with my freehand.

“Fuck you, slime.”

I took off, cutting through the dance floor without bothering to look back. From the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of the green dress moving back to the table.

Pissed, I searched for a private spot to cool off and smoke my emergency bowl. Normally I’d hate to smoke in public, but the party had already reached a level of dank that meant my solo retreat wouldn’t stick out too much. Even in good memories the mark of GAD stained everything. Some days that same torrent of regrets and self abuse still roars through an otherwise placid stream.

I ended up back at the car, convenient since I’d forgotten the lighter there anyways. I’d just finished packing when someone cleared their throat behind me. Fearing a repeat visit from Enrique, I grabbed my keychain pepper spray before turning around.

In front of me stood Belén, somehow more radiant than earlier. Puffy brown eyes clashed with the jubilant smile she threw my way.

“I was just about to leave… He Who Shall Not Be Named dumped me, again, for the last time, really.”

I nodded, and, realizing too late that I was still holding my piece out in the open, loosed a little “oh shit.” There was no recovering in front of this woman.

“You know he tried to pick me up before I left. You’re probably not missing out on much.”

She laughed, it was louder, deeper than I expected. “How brazen. You know, if you don’t mind sharing, I too could use a toke.”

I smiled, a tension releasing from my shoulders that had built over the last half hour. We smoked in silence, leaned up against my car. Agua Salada permeated the dirt lot, a waxing crescent grinned above us as the last of the clouds dissipated.

“So was it one of your rings that left the mark on Enrique’s cheek?”

I blushed. “It really marked him?”

She nodded, I blushed harder.

“A little diamond, right on the cheekbone too.” She chuckled. “After he broke the good news I complimented the new look, prayed it’d get infected.”

I could feel Abuela’s laugh in the air, Enrique’d end up with a nasty wound in a few days. After all, it was her ring that fit the bill. I opened my my right hand, revealing the twin starred ring I’d inherited from her so long ago. Belén gestured with her hand, “May I?” “Sure.” She slipped my hand into hers and brought them closer to her face to examine. She plucked at my middle finger, wiggling it a little bit. “So here’s the culprit!” A quiet laugh, shared.

I forgot to take my hand back, but before I could do anything about it, Belén’s eyes caught mine. “You can keep them here.” She raised her hand and mine, and for a second, I swear we lifted from the ground. The descent was so gentle I never felt the landing. Most days I still feel that little bit of air beneath my heels.

What stuck out most to me though, was the last thing she said that night. My hands still wrapped in hers, she looked me dead in the eyes. I could feel her gently probing my spirit.

“In four days time, a single dahlia, with a sapphire bloom that Hun-nal-ye himself would envy, will blossom before you. Only then will you see me again.”

I was so wrapped up in a vision of the sea that I didn’t realize Belén had left, slipped away like a newly freed ghost. The weirdest thing: what she said that night was all true.

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Want more words from this guy? Check out the first installment of my Sci-Fi Serial, "Cheno's Crash Landing" here!

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