Identity Crisis - Pt 9

This is chapter 9 of a story that started for me with my entry into the vocal challenge for identity. The chapter spoke to me well enough that I continued. It is the story of the emotional drama and struggles surrounding a young man who at age 16 discovers he was adopted under some rather unusual circumstances. It is a story of pain, bonding, struggle and the challenges of coming to terms with discovering that your very core identity is a lie. Below are the links to parts 1 through 8. To get to parts 3 through 8 just change the end number of the link to the appropriate number.

Part 1: https://vocal.media/fiction/identity-crisis-yb14r02l5

Part 2-8: https://vocal.media/fiction/identity-crisis-pt-2

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Identity Crisis

Chapter 9

Flowers in hand Jason happily walked up to the street toward Laura’s house. Rounding the corner, he saw in the glow of a streetlamp a couple kissing. The girl was willowy, almost transparent. She had long blonde hair streaming in the wind. The boy was dark haired, tall in comparison. His hands cupped the girl’s buttocks, kneading. They were focused on each other completely. As he watched, the girl lifted one leg, wrapping it around the boy’s, cupping her lover’s face in her hands. His eyes zoomed in on the amorous scene as if he had binoculars. The light from the streetlamp brightened, encasing the scene in a spotlight highlighting Laura leaning into the kiss, her hands rubbing up and down the back of the other boy. Suddenly the two looked directly at him…the boy looked just like him but had a huge smirk on his face. “Hi bro. Didn’t think you’d mind sharing,” the boy said. As he looked, the boy extruded a tongue that seemed to be a foot long. The other him licked the side of Laura’s face as she cupped his cheek and smiled. Dropping the flowers he turned and ran, straight into the kitchen of his house where his mother was baking a cake. Behind her was a stranger, arms around his mother, leaning into her and nuzzling her neck. As he screeched to a halt the stranger looked at him and said “Hi, son.” Turning he ran out the front door - heart pounding, mind screaming - into the park where a woman was humming as she changed a baby’s diaper. Behind the woman a man with features muffled except for an evil leer picked up another baby from a stroller. The baby looked directly at him as the man placed him on his shoulder – the baby had his face… it was him. The man met his eyes with an evil grin, putting one finger over his lips in a shushing motion before patting the baby’s back and running off. As the woman began screaming in panic so did Jason. he bolted upright, heart pounding. Disoriented, he thrashed and almost fell off the bed. Clyde bounded down from the foot of the bed where he had spent the night, and jumped up, his paws landing painfully in Jason’s groin. The heavy dog let out a loud woof. Jason pulled his head back at the assault of morning dog breath. The previous days crazy events rushed back into his head. Shit, it’s real, he thought.

Dan, awakened by the commotion, sat up, rubbing his eyes. He looked at the alarm clock - 6:15 a.m. The clock was due to go off in ten minutes since it was a school day. “Quinn, you good man?”

Jason groaned, putting his head in his hands. “No, but …, yeah, I guess. You got a toothbrush I can use? My mouth tastes like rotten roadkill.”

Dan got out of the bed, let the dog out, tethering him to a post in the back yard, and headed to the bathroom where he rooted through the sink cabinet. Coming up with a spare toothbrush still in the wrapper, he gave it to his friend. “You want to shower first?” he asked.

Taking the toothbrush, Jason thanked him. “Hey, you got anything I can wear? I feel like I ran a damn marathon yesterday.”

As Jason, toothbrush in hand, got into the shower, pulling closed the curtain, his friend rooted through his drawers for some clothes for him. Carrying them to the bathroom he set them on the edge of the counter. “They’re right here when you’re done bro. By the way…, keep the underwear.”

“Thanks Dan,” Jason said, turning his face up into the streaming water. Turning the temperature to as hot as he could stand it, he let it pummel his aching muscles. He felt like he had been run over by a truck. He hadn’t felt this bad after marathon soccer practices where the coach made the players run suicide sprints. Guess coach was right about stress, he thought.

Dan locked the door behind him as he exited the bathroom, almost colliding with his sister in the hallway, yawning and still rubbing sleep from her eyes. She was wearing a sleep-rumpled set of pajamas with a picture of Taylor Swift on the shirt. “Quinn is taking a shower,” he said.

Katherine, grumbling, mumbled okay and went back to her bedroom to dress.

Pulling on Dan’s clothes, Jason felt surreal. Dan’s shirt was large on him and hung loosely. Following the enticing smell of pancakes and eggs he headed into the kitchen. Dan’s mother was just piling pancakes, eggs, and bacon onto plates and gave him a smile. Clyde, whom she had let back inside, capered around her legs gleefully, excited by the smell of frying bacon.

Sitting at the table, Jason slathered syrup and butter onto his breakfast. A few minutes later Dan and Katherine wandered in and got plates also. Katherine sat next to Jason, casting what she thought were surreptitious glances his way. Linda, catching the byplay, smiled inwardly. She wouldn’t embarrass her daughter by saying anything.

Clyde laid his head on Jason’s lap, large doggy eyes imploring to be fed. Jason slipped the dog a piece of bacon which disappeared immediately. Clyde wagged his tail and resumed his watchful begging.

Linda laughed. “At least his tail is good for cleaning the floor.”

“Are you going to be staying here for a few days Quinn?” Katherine asked.

“I don’t know KitKat. I’m supposed to meet my sister and uncle today. I think I’ll probably be headed to Indiana pretty soon. By the way, Mrs. Rigby, is there any way I can go by my house and pick up some stuff?” He gestured at the shirt of Dan’s which he was wearing. It had a stencil of the group Imagine Dragons on it. “I’m a bit lost in Dan’s shirt. I’m at least grateful I had my belt with me. I don’t want to meet my sister for the first time wearing a shirt with imaginary dragons on it."

“Don’t be dissing on Imagine Dragons. They’re awesome,” Dan said.

Ignoring the byplay Linda replied, “We should probably check with the police first since they’re keeping an eye out, but that should be possible. Hold on.” Linda walked out front and scanned the street. Spotting the police car down the street she waved at him. The officer pulled up to her and she relayed the request. It was the same officer who had spoken with them last night.

“Let me check with the station first,” the officer said.

A couple minutes later the officer disconnected and turned back to the woman. “Shift change is at seven. Dispatch advises they’ll have someone from oncoming shift either pick Jason up here or meet you at his house on Foxmoor. Will that work?”

“That should be fine. I’ll get my kids off to school and drive him over. Give me about thirty minutes.”

“No problem,” the officer said. “I’ll let them know when you head out.”

Heading back inside she told Jason what the officer had said.

“Mom, do I need to go to school today?” Dan asked. “With all this happening, I kind of feel like I should be there for Quinn.”

“I don’t know Dan. School is important.”

Mr. Rigby, who had just come into the kitchen and was fixing a cup of coffee, chimed in. “It’s only day two dear. I think, under the circumstances, missing one day isn’t going to be a big deal.”

“If you say so, dear.”

“What about me? I want to be there for Quinn too.” Katherine turned imploringly wide eyes on her father.

“Sorry honey. Someone here has to get an education.”

“But, Dad..,”

“I said no KitKat. Finish eating and get ready for school. The bus is due in about fifteen minutes.”

“Fine!” Katherine set down her fork and got down. She gave Jason a quick side hug and went to get her school stuff.

“Kit Kat?” Jason said as she started from the room.

Turning back, Katherine felt her adrenaline rising. She would miss Quinn more than her parents ever knew. “Yes?”

“KitKat, uhm, thanks for being my friend.” Jason smiled wistfully at his friend’s little sister who beamed back. Jason had known for a while that his friend’s little sister had a crush on him. He and Dan had joked about it. Despite being only two years younger than himself, KitKat was just a kid by his way of thinking. Still, he understood that his leaving would affect her just as it would Dan.

“Jason, do you want to call your parents to let them know we’re coming?” Linda asked.

“Would you do it? I’m kind of out of sorts right now.”

“I understand.” Linda stepped into the living room and called her friend Alicia.

Driving to work for her dayshift, Jalynda was humming along to the Drifters song ‘Under the Boardwalk’ as she thought about her dinner date with Stephen the night before. The two had sparked a connection and were obviously mutually attracted. The downside of that being of that they worked and lived almost a thousand miles apart. Having googled the distance, Jalynda had felt sad upon noting it was 955 miles from Deland to Indianapolis. That would definitely put a damper on dating. Still, Stephen had mentioned wanting to possibly live in a warmer climate. If he transferred to the Daytona Beach FBI office there could possibly be something there. Daytona Beach was only a half hour away. She knew she couldn’t ask a man she had literally just met to pull up stakes and transfer from Indiana to Florida…, but it sure would be nice if he did. She hoped they had the opportunity to explore their attraction further.

Thinking back, she remembered how Stephen had looked at her uncertainly as they stood together in front of her house last night. After a dinner spent in conversation both personal and business related, during which each had been testing the waters with the other, he had driven her home. Walking her from the car to her front door he had looked at her, a wistful melancholy in his eyes. She knew he wanted to kiss her but was uncertain if it would be appropriate or welcome. Exasperated, she had met his eyes and took the initiative. While he was shuffling there, she had reached up, placed one hand behind his neck, and, pulling his head down while she raised onto her toes, she had kissed him. At first he was surprised, but after a second he had returned the kiss deeply.

When the FBI agent’s eyes had darted to her front door, Jalynda, knowing exactly what was on his mind, had chuckled. The thought of inviting him in had definitely crossed her mind as well. She had disengaged from the kiss – which had admittedly been quite nice, bringing a tingle to her stomach. “Stephen, we’re both adults. And we both know we like each other. But I’m not looking for a one night stand.”

“I get it,” Stephen responded. “At this point, I’m much more interested in getting to know someone. My last relationship was built from a purely physical attraction, and it was …, lackluster, I guess. We didn’t really have much in common. But I really enjoyed tonight. I hope to see you again before I leave. And who knows what may happen in the future?”

“I enjoyed myself too. You’re a good man. Go catch some kidnappers.” Kissing him again, she had gone inside. Lying in bed a short while later, she had found herself almost wishing she had invited him in.

Nearing the station, Jalynda felt a warm flush suffuse her face as she recalled the dreams she had had last night – dreams in which the handsome special agent had featured prominently. She was pulled from her reverie by her phone ringing just as she was pulling into the lot. It was the dispatch center. “Officer Feliciano,” she answered it. Ten minutes later she was heading toward 220 Foxmoor Dr.

Davenport woke at 0645 to his phone ringing. It was his boss, SAC (Special Agent in Charge) Jackson from Indianapolis. “Agent Davenport,” he answered.

“Stephen, it’s George. We’ve been searching for information on Child Haven Adoption Agency. Seems they closed up shop and dispersed ten years back. Definitely in the wind. We’re pulling files on all their adoption cases for cross reference in NCIC and searching for current locations on their staff. Not a lot of luck there yet, but I got a lead on your clerk from Children’s Hope Center. We searched their employment files and found him.”

“Good work. What you got on him?”

“James H. Sherman, white male, 5’8”, 185 lbs., balding, D.O.B. 6/21/64. He worked for Children’s Hope from 2004 until 2018. Still lives local in Indianapolis. We’re headed there shortly. Hopefully he can give us some information on the current whereabouts of his buddies from Child Haven.”

“Sounds good. I imagine he’ll be cooperative once he’s charged with aiding and abetting in multiple counts of felony kidnapping.”

“According to what we can find there were about 5 suspicious adoptions on average per year out of Child Haven from the time they opened in 2001 and when they closed up shop in 2013. That’s approximately sixty possible abductions and illegal adoption. Who knows at this point if there are more somewhere else in the last ten years. That’s a lot of babies. Guys like Sherman don’t tend to do well in prison. I’ll keep you posted.”

“Thanks George. Look, I gotta get with the local PD and make sure things go smooth with the transition of Jason Trilby to his biological family today. I’ll let you know if there’s any problems. So long as all goes well, I should be hopping a flight back to Indy tomorrow morning.”

“Sounds good. In the meantime, I emailed you what we have so far. Good luck with the kid.” SAC Jackson disconnected.

Davenport went to clean up and brush his teeth. When he finished, he noted a text from Jalynda. Smiling he opened it: ‘Headed to Marcellus house Foxmoor Dr … Call when avail.. BTW, had good time last night. Busy 2nite?’ Stephen’s smile increased. He recalled the way she had initiated that kiss last night. His toes were still tingling. The combination of Jalynda’s well-tanned skin and that red dress had taken his breath away. Still, aside from his undeniable physical attraction to her he was fascinated by her quick intelligence, compassion, and dedication to her job. A possible transfer south after this case was something to be considered. He dialed Jalynda’s number.

“Officer Feliciano,” she answered.

“Officer Feliciano, it’s Agent Davenport.”

“Stephen. Good to hear from you.”

Figuring she wouldn’t have called him by his Christian name if she wasn’t clear to talk, he replied, “Really good to hear you as well Jalynda. What’s up at Foxmoor? Something going on with Jason or the Marcelluses?”

“Jason just wanted to go get some of his own clothes and such before meeting up with the bio’s. The friend’s mother, Linda Rigby, is driving him over. I’m almost there just to ensure there’s no problems.”

“Sounds good. Jason has to get with his real parents today. The DNA results should be in by about noon. We’ll get them together at the station after lunch. The Marcelluses too. I really think they all need a meet and greet. Randy, Detective Perkins, is working on that. Meantime, I’m going to be looking over some stuff my boss sent me. Files on adoption cases handled by Child Haven and such. Also, they located the clerk from Children’s Hope that was backdooring people over to Child Haven. Hopefully he can get us a lead on their current locations.”

“They’re not in Indianapolis anymore?”

“No. They dispersed in 2013. But they were active there for twelve years. Looks like about sixty possibly suspicious adoptions to look into.”

Jalynda whistled. “Good luck with that. I hope you catch these bastards.”

“We will. Also, tonight…, dinner again?”

“Sounds good. Pick me up at eight?”

“Absolutely.” Agent Davenport felt a euphoric rush at the thought of another date with the beautiful policewoman. Plugging in his laptop he pulled up the email from his boss and went to work.

Once the school bus picked up Katherine, Linda piled the boys into the car. Daniel Sr had left for work ten minutes prior. Pulling up by the squad car, she stopped and rolled down her window.

Officer Harlowe leaned out his own window. “Heading to Foxmoor Dr.?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. I’m ending my shift, but dispatch is having an officer meet you over there. They ask that you wait outside until the officer arrives.”

“Thanks Officer Harlowe. Have a good day.”

“No problem ma’am.” As Linda pulled away she saw the squad car pulling out.

“I can’t even walk into my own house without the cops there?” Jason said.

“It’s just procedure Jason. Don’t let it bother you.” Linda gave him a reassuring smile in the rearview mirror.

Five minutes later, Linda pulled up in front of the Marcelluses house. “We’re supposed to wait for the officer to get here. Never mind, here they are now.” A squad car pulled up behind them.

As Linda and the boys piled out of her Toyota Corolla, Jalynda got out of her squad car and walked up to meet them. “Good morning,” she said. “Jason, how you doing?” She could see from his clenched fists and angry look that the teen was upset. Undoubtedly he was still angry that his folks had never told him he was adopted.

“I’m good,” Jason replied.

“By the way, about giving that number to Agent Davenport, there’s no need. He has it.” Jalynda winked at the teen.

“You two hooking up?” Dan said with a grin.

“Daniel Rigby! You apologize to Officer Feliciano this minute,” Linda said.

“It’s fine Mrs. Rigby. Don’t worry about it.” Turning to Dan she replied, “Not yet anyway. Time will tell.”

Linda laughed along with the officer and the group headed to the door.

Across the street at 225 the curtain shuffled to the side and a dark wrinkled face appeared. “Looks like Mr. Wilkins is awake,” Jason said.

“Nosy neighbor?” Jalynda asked.

“Yeah. But he means well. His wife is bedridden and he doesn’t get out much.” Just then the front door opened and Alicia Marcellus stepped out. Ignoring the officer she ran up and threw her arms around Jason.

“Quinn! Are you okay? We’ve been so worried.”

Jason felt awkward and was stiff for a moment before loosening up and hugging her back. Regardless of his current feelings, to him this was his mother – the woman who had loved and raised him. “I’m fine Mom. But my name is Jason.” He sounded bitter. Across the street the door opened, and Mr. Wilkins stepped onto his stoop. “Can we go inside?”

“Of course.” Alicia released her son and turned to the others. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. Come in.”

Clark stepped back from the foyer as the five came in. Jason looked at the man he had always known as Dad. Clark looked nervous and unsure. “It’s okay Dad.”

For want of knowing what to say, Clark gave a half smile. “When did you start listening to Imagine Dragons?”

“Hey. Don’t diss on the dragon,” Dan said with a laugh.

“I need to get some clothes. I have to meet up with my real family today. By the way, I have a sister too.” Jason said, looking at his dad. The resentment was palpable.

“Jason…” Alicia looked like she was about to cry. “We’re sorry.”

Linda and Dan looked uncomfortable at the drama.

“How about we go into the living room?” Jalynda suggested. “Obviously there’s some things to discuss.”

“Of course,” Clark said.

“Would you like some coffee or anything Officer Feliciano? Linda?” Alicia said, heading into the kitchen. The distraught woman was obviously trying to get herself together.

“I could use a cup ma’am. Cream and sugar if you have it. Thank you.”

“None for me,” Linda said as she headed to the living room along with Jason and Dan. It hurt her to see her friend so upset. Still, she thought they should have at least told their son he was adopted.

Jalynda, sipping her coffee, looked around. The house was nice, she thought. It looked like it had been a happy home. Jason was on the couch, his head in his hands. Above him, a family photo in which he was a smiling kid of about ten standing with proud parents. They looked happy, normal. Next to him Dan was looking at the blurb on a video game case while his mother stood there looking lost, helpless; wishing she could help both her own friend and her son’s. Lord, let the bastards who caused this be caught and punished, she silently prayed.

“Mr. and Mrs. Marcellus, can we talk in the dining room for a minute?”

Glancing at his son, sitting on the couch, nervous, like he was in an insane asylum and someone had just locked the doors, Clark nodded. Alicia, chewing on her lip, picked up her coffee and walked to the dining room. She looked like a death row inmate taking the final walk of doom.

“Mr. and Mrs. Marcellus…,”

“Clark and Alicia is fine,” Clark said, pulling out a chair and sitting at the dining table. Alicia followed suit.

“Clark, Alicia…, I know this situation is extremely difficult and painful. Not only for Jason, but for you as well. It’s got to hurt terribly. But, I know you love your adopted son. It’s obvious he’s been raised in a good environment by good people.”

Alicia looked up at the officer. “Thank you, Officer Feliciano. We truly do love our son.”

“Jalynda is fine Alicia.” She sat down and took the woman’s hand in her own. Alicia was shaking. “You have to be understanding now for Jason. He’s hurt and scared. Confused. This whole thing was thrust on him out of the blue. He loves you both dearly but he’s also angry. He’s angry at the whole world and doesn’t know how to react. He blames the two of you for not telling him he was adopted.”

“We never wanted him to feel like he wasn’t a true part of us, a true part of our family. He’s our son.” Clark met Jalynda’s pitying gaze, his own eyes begging for understanding.

“I get it. But you know the DNA results will be in this afternoon. Once that is on record, Jason is going to have to go with his birth family.”

Alicia sobbed.

“We know,” Clark said softly.

“I truly hope you can…, come to an understanding with the Trilby’s. They’re good people whose baby boy was kidnapped. They are his parents, his family. Fifteen years they’ve been hurting, praying, and searching. This isn’t on them either.”

Clark rubbed his forehead and sipped his own coffee. Sighing, he replied, “No. It’s not their fault. I can’t imagine their pain. Christ…, fifteen years. I’d have gone insane.”

“Right now, you need to be there for Jason. He’s lost. He’s losing his whole world. His core identity. So, just love him, support him, and be there as much as you can. Let him know you love him.”

“Of course,” Clark said, rubbing his wife’s shoulderblade.

“Okay. Right now, Jason needs to get some of his own clothes and maybe a couple of things. This afternoon we’ll be meeting at the station after lunch with the Trilby’s, Jason, and, I hope, you two as well. Talk with them. Let them know how much you love their son. Maybe something can be salvaged from this mess. Maybe Jason just has two families.”

“What about the bastards who kidnapped him? What about Child Haven?” Clark’s hands were fisted, his body tense.

“Oh don’t worry. We have leads on them. Agent Davenport won’t rest until they’re tried and convicted and every family torn apart by them is reunited.”

“I hope they burn in hell,” Alicia whispered.

“Me too,” Jalynda replied. “Now, let’s let Jason do what he has to.” The three got up and went into the living room.

Jason looked up as they came in. His eyes were red rimmed, his muscles taut. Alicia went to him, sinking to her knees by the son she had loved and raised. “Quinn…”

“Jason. My name is Jason.” Anger was palpable in his look. “Why? Why didn’t you ever tell me I was adopted? Who am I?”

“Quinn…, Jason, you’re still our son. We love you as much as we ever have. You’re still the boy we took to the park and swung on the swings. The boy whose brow I bathed when you had the flu. We didn’t know about the…, the kidnapping.”

“I get that Mom. But why didn’t you tell me I was adopted? I would have loved you just as much.” Jason flopped back against the couch. “God, this sucks!”

“Son, we’re sorry,” Clark said. “We should have told you. We just always knew that you were our son. Our gift from God. We never wanted you to feel that you were anyone but our child.”

“But I’m not!”

Alicia sobbed. Linda put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Dude, you’re not being fair.” Dan put down the video game.

“Fair?! What’s fair about any of this? I have to move a thousand miles away with strangers. I have to leave you. I have to leave Laura.” Jason sobbed.

Clark took his son by the arm and raised him from the couch. Putting his arms around his son, he held him tight. “I’m so sorry son. But, this could be a good thing. If we let it.”

“A good thing? How!?”

“You have two families that love you utterly and completely son. No matter what. We’re here for you. Your mom and I.”

Jason sobbed into his dad’s shoulder, flinging his arms around the man.

Pulling back after a few moments, Jason turned imploring eyes to the man who had raised him. The man who had taught him to play baseball and didn’t get mad when he chose soccer instead. The man who had taken him fishing and played hide and seek with him as a kid. He sniffed, wiping the back of a hand against the dampness on his cheeks. “I know Dad.”

Dan clapped his friend on the back. “Let’s get you something that fits skinny.”

Jason chuckled through the tears. “Yeah. Screw imaginary dragons.”

“I told you not to diss on the dragons man.” Dan laughed.

Disengaging from the group, Jason and Dan went into his room.

Alicia followed as far as the doorway. “There’s a suitcase in the closet you can use.”

“Thanks Mom. And, Mom…, I love you, you know.”

“I know Quinn.” Alicia went back to the living room.

Jason looked around the room where he had grown up. His posters, game system, soccer trophies. The detritus a boy accumulates over time. Silly stuff on the whole perhaps, but it all meant something to him. When his eyes fell on the picture of Laura on the end table, his heart slid into his stomach. Sitting on the bed he picked up the photo and just looked at it.

Sitting next to his best friend, Dan gave him a moment to take it in. “Quinn, it’ll be all right. She really cares for you.”

“I know. That’s what makes it so hard. Why me? I don’t want to leave.”

“Yeah. This really sucks.” Dan looked at the photo of him and Jason on the shelf. His own throat tightened. “Dude, make sure you take the PS5. I still need my partner in mayhem and destruction. Especially when some NPC six-year-old starts yelling out racist crap. You get to frag the kids.”

Jason chuckled. “You’re such a CODfish,” he said – remembering their own private joke about blending Call of Duty with Peter Pan. Sighing, he went to retrieve the suitcase from the closet. The first thing in was the picture of Laura. Next was the PS5 and games. When he got to the photograph of him and his adoptive parents he hesitated. After looking at it for a minute he put that, too, into the suitcase.

When he left he gave a tentative hug to his parents. After putting the suitcase into the trunk and climbing into Linda’s Toyota, he looked back. His dad had an arm around his mother’s shoulders. She looked like she was dying inside.

Jalynda’s heart went out to all of them. “Hope to see you at the station at one.”

“We’ll be there,” Clark replied.

Nodding at the two, Jalynda walked up to the driver’s window and leaned down to speak with Linda. “Do you want us to pick Jason up this afternoon or will you be bringing him to the station?

“I can bring him. He and Dan need some time today.”

“Sounds good. Thank you.” Jalynda walked to her patrol car as the Toyota pulled out. The Marcelluses stood by their door watching as their world fractured.