𝑰'𝒎 𝒂𝒏 𝑨𝒑𝒉𝒊𝒅 ❀

𓂅✦✧⊹⋆

I’m an Aphid, small, bulky and round. Us Aphids gently secrete sweet-satisfactory honeydew; leaving twinkling sugar droplets in the moonlight.

Though the sweetness can’t hide my hideous frame and threadlike legs, I’m happy filling

the world with sugar.

Bugs; like, dragonflies, and butterflies-

They're all better than us.

They hate us.

Unlike them we are soft-bodied and wingless. Invasive pests. They pollinate and propagate, while we lay lazily on leaves, just as emerald as our backs. I rest sleepily in the sun rays, asking the universe, “Why did God create us?”

The tulips above stand tall; they're a hallway of fragrance.

They wave kindly at me from above;

But the doves loom not far away.

Sunny and I are hiding behind a rock from those white feathered fiends, but the bees buzz confidently in the spring breeze.

We’re thinking no insect would come to extend a wing, but then, a glimpse of glimmering red brushes swiftly past the birds and onto our rock. What an odd bug, he is.

“Hello there my emerald jewels!” His voice was sweeter than Goldenrod, “The humans have brought me here from Europe to take care of you.”

“Have you come to save us?” Sunny said expectantly, “We cannot fly!”

“Well then, I suppose I must save you.” He picks us up with the lightest touch, and begins gliding through the air. “You smell so sweet my sugar aphids.” His tone is so calm and inviting.

Sunny is screaming out in excitement,

but all I can do is hold my breath.

I can’t say it isn't nice though, watching the waves of blue and purple flowers rush below us. “I’ve never flown before!” I call out.

He sets us down on a Magnolia flower, and smiles. “Well of course you haven't.”

“My name is Sunny by the way!” She pushes past me eagerly, “Thank you so much for saving us. I hope you make yourself comfortable in the garden.”

Glowing translucent wings emerge from his back. He nods, and flutters over to greet the other insects.

It’s the next day, and all the beautiful bugs are surrounding the new creature.

“What is it like in Europe?” Asks the Monarch.

“Your shell is so strong and shiny!” Swoons the Ivory Moth.

“What an interesting beetle you are…” Whispers the golden winged wasp.

“Who knew red was such a popular color, right Sunny?”

I have turned to face my friend, but she is completely enamored by the red bug’s presence.

“He’s gorgeous,” Sunny says wistfully.

I sighed grumpily, “I suppose he didn’t ignore or insult us like every other bug, but we’re still at the bottom of the food chain regardless. Don’t forget that you are an Aphid.” She’s turning to look at me, but in her eyes I can see that my warning has fallen on deaf ears.

Several days have passed and the garden has completely changed. There are red beetles everywhere, causing a commotion, but every bug seems to think it's ok. Sunny and the red bug from before have been talking daily, and it’s clear to me that she has fallen in love.

But every time he comes around my stomach drops, and I tremble a bit. There’s something strange about the way he whispers to Sunny, “You smell like sugar…”

“I want to propose! Our lives are so incredibly short and I want to spend the rest of it with him!”

I stare blankly at Sunny, “You don’t even know what he is!” Has she lost her mind?

“He’s here to take care of the Aphids. This is my only chance, no other insect has cared about our kind before.”

“Sunny, you forgot who you are; your place in this garden. Do not embarrass yourself, he doesn’t love you.”

Tears are swelling up in her tiny Aphid eyes, “I knew you were jealous!” She storms away as fast as those threadlike legs can take her. I stand on an oak branch, waiting for the sun to set.

And for it to rise again.

Insects are gathered expectantly in the Goldenrod bush, awaiting Sunny’s announcement.

The red beetle stood before her in all his grandness,

And Sunny murmured below,

“I love you, with all of my heart. I want to be a part of you for the rest of my life.”

A suffocating silence fills the bush.

“I want to get married.”

The ants all scoff in disgust, and the dung beetles whisper harshly.

Sunny looks back at me, discouraged. I think to myself, She'll be rejected, we’ll go home, and sleep in the sun rays. I imagine holding her as she cries sugar tears and holding back a well deserved “I told you so.”

“I want you to be a part of me too.” His silky-sparkling voice cuts through the scoffs and whispers. “But marriage isn’t what I had in mind.”

“What do you want?” Sunny looks at him with bright eyes, and a tiny smile slips away from her leafy face.

“You are supple to the touch, and beautifully matured,” He leans in slowly, and their antennae are touching. “Your smell is what I love most about you…”

What happens next lives in my mind as a set of foggy-broken frames. I try to put them together, I try to understand it. This memory taunts me, his words are a mockery. He says, “I want to know how you taste.”

The sound of snapping cartilage fills the air,

and a breeze carries Sunny’s blood into my mouth.

Her face is now mangled, half eaten,

and Aphids are scurrying away,

leaving a trail of blood-curdling screams behind them.

“Help me! Please, please someone help me!” Her voice is so raspy, she has a throat full of blood, “I beg you,” she coughs violently, “Save me, I’ll do anything!”

Bite after bite, I could only stand there frozen in fear. Why? Why is this happening?

He’s eating her so greedily, sinking his mouth into her stomach. The sound was like crinkling, crushing, crunching-

Over and over again. The red bug turns around and I can see seven black dots spotting his back. They look at me, like seven beady eyes, gazing upon their prey. Had they always been there?

Torn up and twitching, a fountain of watery sugar sprays out from Sunny’s face, into my eyes. I am blind, and sobbing, roaring, asking God, “WHY!?” It was like no other bug could hear us screaming; like no one could see the tragedy laid before us. What are we to these bugs? Are we really just food?

He’s finished.

And he’s looking at me. Oh god, he’s looking at me.

Starting from the bottom of my legs, he drags his antennae across my underside

and up to my chin.

I’m crying these sugar tears that he licks tauntingly off my face.

“Please don’t kill me! Please!” He smiles at me.

“Well my little green gem, I’m a Ladybug, and I’ve come to take care of you all.” His tone was still-silky smooth, but patronizing.

A Ladybug?

“You’ve come to kill us all!?” I cried. “Don’t, please don’t eat me!”

What am I really? Why did God create me?

He wraps his mouth peacefully around my leg, before ripping it away from my frame. Blood splurts out onto the Goldenrod petals.

I scream and try to push him off, but that only results in him pinning me down.

And as he lifts his head to bite me once more, I know it is my time to die.

He bows down to my face and mutters, “I love how sweet you taste.”

And for better or worse, an Idea now flashes into my mind. Maybe I can survive…

“It’d be a waste to kill me now,” I said shakily, “I secrete honeydew everyday. Keep me alive and you can come back for more.”

“Is that true?” He starts to back away.

“Yes!” I exclaim with a heavy breath.

I wanted to live, I was scared to die, but still I wondered, Am I making the right choice?

It’s the next day, and the world feels so much colder. With not enough blood in my veins, and the sun covered by gray clouds, I struggle to suck the sap of Dahlia flowers to create honeydew. I can’t stop shaking and spilling sap all over myself. I know he’ll be here any second and I still have yet to secrete any sugar for him.

I hear boisterous laughter cut through the air.

I peek through the flower petals and see that diabolical ladybug in the spotlight,

once again.

The giggling of the bumble bees, and the swooning of the black beetles Is giving me

a stomach ache.

It’s a disgusting sight to see.

They had all watched him brutally murder Sunny the day before, and yet the Ladybug’s popularity is unwavering. They are all happy, like nothing ever happened.

How can us Aphids truly matter so little?

Consumed and distracted by my own thoughts, the Ladybug lands behind without me noticing.

“My darling Aphid,” He calls, “I want honeydew.”

I whip around to look up at him.

“...Yes,” I mumble.

I bend over and force out as many sugar droplets as I can. His eyes light up, and he begins to eat his fill. I gaze up at his seven black spots; they're hypnotic and shining. I wonder, how didn’t Sunny and I notice from the beginning?

“I want more.” His tone is bone-chilling and foreign.

“I already made more than my body could bear. I don’t think I can make more until I eat again.”

He grabs pieces of leaves nearby and shoves them into my mouth. “Eat then.”

I choke and cry.

I can’t scream, or tell him to stop. The air is quickly escaping my body; the color running off my face.

I pull his antennae, and he lets go of me. I spit out the leaves, and cough up blood.

“Put it back in your mouth!” he yells, I jolt back.

“Please just give me a second! I just ate and my body can’t-” He cut me off, completely ripping off the leg he had bitten before. I Shriek in agony and fall to the ground. He drinks my blood while staring me in the eyes.

“Eat. That is, if you want to keep your other front leg.” I eat between sobs, and sink back into the Dahlia petals. “I’ll be back.” He flutters away.

For the next several days, this pattern continues. He feeds off my honeydew,

and hurts me when I don’t make enough.

I used to have 5 legs and now I have 4.

I’ve lost half of an antenna, and my cheek has a small hole near my mouth.

“More! You’re just not making enough, my little jewel.” Says the Ladybug.

“Please have mercy, I’m one little bug. You hurt me near my mouth and it’s hard to suck sap now.”

“Oh? So it’s my fault?” The Ladybug grabs me from behind, “Let me help you out then.” He reaches deep into my body from the back, crushing my organs in order to force honeydew out of me. He covers my mouth so that I don’t make too much noise, and continues moving my insides around until the sugar stops leaking out from me. My brain is trapped in a burning haze, and my tiny eyes have lost sight.

I am worthless. I am weak.

The sun set and rose many times again, and at each sunset I die a little more.

I am nothing anymore. My life has meant nothing. I was the one who said he could come back for more. I was the one that didn’t fight it. I was the one God created to be destroyed.

Today, his friends are with him.

“How could I possibly…” I say with tears streaming down my face, “How could I possibly feed all of you.” I know my fate already.

I think… Today's weather is very nice. I can hear a dragonfly humming a beautiful song. It smells like sugar and daisies, and I know that if she were alive, Sunny and I would have gone out exploring today. I want to see her again.

“Hold her down.”

They don’t care at all about my body, and my wails are a joke to them.

I know that I am just food, but a part of me still can’t accept what’s happening.

The other insects buzz around us like normal as the Ladybug reaches for me for the last time.

All together, they rip me open, all the way up my spine. I can’t make a sound.

I’m twitching uncontrollably as they eat me from the inside out.

It’s painful, but strangely enough, I've never felt more like an Aphid than I do now.

I am an Aphid, small, bulky and round.

Though the sweetness can’t hide my hideous frame and threadlike legs, I’m happy filling

the world with sugar.

This really hurts.

I hate ladybugs.