Human Bacon

He came to this country on a whim. He was lazy and expected everything to fall into his lap, but it didn't really. Still he had a small flat in a reasonable area, but his savings were fast running out, and landlords were not prone to wait an indefinite time for their rent.

He decided to become a cook, that couldn't be too diificult could it. He saw a course at a local college and decided that myight give him enough grounding to get a job at a local cafe or even a restaurant.

He found his way to the college, it was in an old red bricked Victorian building, and he felt a sense of threat walking in, mainly from the building, rather than the people who were there.

The corridors were long and dark, he had expected somewhere modern, but this was like going back two centuries, but needs must. He needed to gain skills in order to have a chance of getting a job.

He finally found the room where the course was and he walked in and froze when he heard the words of te course leader:

CL: "Todays course subject will be Human Bacon"

"My God" he thought, "They are cannibals. Human Bacon?" He had heard that several cannibalistic societies referred to humans as "Longpigs", and he had found himself in the middle of one such tribe. He had to get out.

He ran out or the room into the dark corridor, he was confused, but knew he was definitely in the wrong place, but he did knot know the way out, so he started running aimlessly, but all the corridors looked the same, and all the people he saw suddenly became potential cannibals, so he was not going to ask for directions.

This was what hell must be like, except there were no pflames juts endless dark corridors with no way out. There were signs but he could not really see what they said, so he just kept taking turns down corridors and hoping that he did not find himself at a dead end.

No one was following him, so that was ok, but he had to get out. He had not see any toilets either, just lots of woulden doors with opaque glass that were probably lecture rooms.

Were are the courses like this? What other cannibalistic feasting might be going on here? Should he report it to the police when he got out?

His mind was racing and his heart was trying to overtake it. He needed to get out. He felt that he was just going round in cirlcels because all the corridors and doors looked the same.

He could not stay here. He needed to find a way out.

He was not going to be part of some class's meal.

He turned to run and the course leader caught him.

CL: "Why are you running? Have we done something wrong? Have we scared you?"

Him: "I'm not a cannibal, I am not partaking in cooking and eating people"

CL: "Pardon. We don't even cook any meat, and we don't use much dairy. This course is ninety per cent vegetarian cookery"

Him: "But you said it was 'Human Bacon'!"

CL: "Oh, my god, you misheard. It's not 'Human Bacon', I said it's 'Humane Baking' that's what it says on the flyers and the instruction sheets. We are cruelty free. I am so sorry. Are you OK?"

He felt stupid. He had panicked because he had not listened properly or read the course notes properly.

He apologisesd to the Course Leader and slunk back into the class room.