Homer against the establishment

EXT. SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD. DAY.

Establishing shot of a regular suburban house.

INT. LIVING ROOM. DAY

Homer Simpson is sitting by the living room table. While watching as an observer at a chaotic family breakfast, he starts to feel a bit uneasy with the way things turned out for him. While in his early 20s, he was optimistic about the future, he envisioned a life of carefree excitement, cruising along in his muscle car. Now… a slave of routine and boredom, in a beat up sedan.

EXT. DRIVING.

While in traffic. Homer thinks of his glory days, waiting for the green light to melt rubber, in a cacophony of combustion roars.

HOMER

What if I could turn back time?... What if... Maybe...

(Car horn sounding frantically.)

NUCLEAR POWER PLANT. WORK. LUNCH BREAK.

HOMER

Guys, I had a mind-blowing experience this morning. For a while, I was being the wheel of the famous “Asphalt eater.” oohhhh guys, I miss my old muscle car.

CARL

I remember Homer, but I think it was called “The asphalt wetting piece of junk.” On Apu’s store you can still see the oil spills on every parking space HAHAHA…

LENNY

Your car was the fastest! a real chick magnet. Why you sold it Homer? It was a legendary machine, born to race.

CARL

Stop there Len, what happened in the past, stays in the past. We don’t have time to keep on licking our wounds like cats, get over it. Look forward, not backwards.

HOMER

Carl is right Len, no time to waste, let’s get back to work.

INSIDE HOMER’S HOUSE. EVENING

HOMER

Marge, do you remember my “Dark menace?” a.k.a. “The asphalt eater!” The fastest muscle car in town, it was unbeatable, a true jewel.

MARGE

"You’re so naïve Homer… That pile of junk lost the battle to rust a long time ago, I’m sure that it serves a higher purpose right now."

Homer began to imagine his beloved car being shredded by a car eating machine, watching the car sigh at his imminent destruction. Pieces of scrap metal coming out on the other side of the machine, in the form of brand new replacement part for mechanical use. Then, he envisioned an astronaut riding a space shuttle giving him a thumbs up for his contribution.

HOMER

Go “Asphalt eater!” Go where you belong (Homer staring into oblivion…)

MARGE HANDLES HOMER A COLD BEER.

MARGE

There you go, I’m pretty sure that your old car in a six pack somewhere, maybe you’re drinking from the radiator cap. (Homer looking sad staring at the can.)

INSIDE HOMER’S BASEMENT.

HOMER

There’s too much stuff here, we need to get rid of… Wait…

While moving some boxes, an old vinyl record felt on the ground, he picked it up with extreme care, dusting out the cover.

HOMER

NO Way! My old Kiss “Destroyer” record, ohhhh my…

He turned on his old turntable, placed the needle on his favorite track, “Shout it out loud” begins to play at full blast. Flanders (His neighbor) runs at full speed up his home’s stairs screaming.

FLANDERS

Cover your ears children, don’t listen to that, That’s the voice of the Devil, don’t let it get inside of your head.

INSIDE HOMER’S HOUSE.

BART

Hey… that music has soul. Play it loud old man! listen to that guitar Ooooohhh… sweet.

LISA

Interesting musical structure, it’s simple but complex at the same time, clever arrangements.

INSIDE THE BASEMENT.

While listening to “Shout it out loud” Homer went down on memory lane, he remembered the fun moment behind his loved car and Flanders warning him about that band. According to him, they are the messengers from Mephistopheles itself… “Homer, if you play those records in reverse, the devil will come to you.”

Remembering Flanders words, he started to spin the record on the opposite direction, unaware of the true scope of his actions.

HOMER

This is nonsense, I can’t understand anything… What a waste of time.

PAUL (STARMAN) LEFT SPEAKER.

HEYYY… It’s about time guys… Showtime!

LOUD DEEP VOICE (BOTH SPEAKERS).

YOU WANT THE BEST, YOU GOT THE BEST, THE HOTTEST BAND IN THE WORLD… KIIIIIISSSSSS. (The band mysteriously appear in front of Homer)

HOMER

Ace… Peter… Paul… Gene… am I dreaming? How can this be real? This is my basement, how come?

PAUL(STARMAN)

Take it easy Homer, you are the one asking for our help.

ACE (SPACE-ACE)

Play it cool, we are like a genie in a bottle, but wearing make-up and leather hahahhaha.

HOMER

What kind of sorcery is this? I can’t believe it, someone… wake me up!

PETER (CATMAN)

Homer, we live inside the Rock and Roll circus; you know the place, there’s nothing to be afraid of. Some people fear us because we represent freedom, they don’t know how it is to be free.

GENE (THE DEMON)

Just like your car Homer, your whole life was all about pushing the pedal to the metal. That’s what we preach, to live in the fast lane.

HOMER

This is not real, I am talking to ghosts inside of my basement.

ACE (SPACE-ACE)

Ohhh no, we are not ghosts. Remember, we came from space, to entertain, and break the chains of boredom on American youth!

HOMER

I remember, it’s on this record, “Flaming youth.” That’s part of the lyrics. This is surreal.

PETER(CATMAN)

This is what we do, or like some people say, it’s our job. All those messages are carved into your skull. You can’t escape, you are part of the KISS Army.

GENE (THE DEMON)

ENOUGH! Time for action, so… your hidden desire is to drive your muscle car again…

PETER(CATMAN)

This is going to be fun. (Smiling at the other band members)

HOMER

Hmmm… you can say that.

ACE(SPACE-MAN)

There you go, look out the window, it’s there.

PETER(CATMAN)

Waiting for you… to ROAR! brrrrrrrrrrrrr… (making a paw-like movement with his hand)

They all got out to the house garage. There it was, the mighty Homer’s “Asphalt eater” In disbelief, with watery eyes Homer turned his gaze to the band.

HOMER

What now? What do I have to do?

GENE (THE DEMON)

MAN UP! Take the keys.

HOMER

Ohhh… no, it’s true, now you want my soul as payment! Nooo… leave me alone, I want my children, my wife, my mom.

GENE (THE DEMON)

Ohhh my goodness, another one? Please, can someone explain the whole plot for him again? I don’t have time for this nonsense.

PAUL(STARMAN)

Listen Homer, you are one of our fans, a proud member of the Kiss-Army. You don’t have to pay anything, we owe you for your loyalty.

PETER(CATMAN)

Time to show you our real powers. Get into the car, start the engine, don’t be shy.

PAUL(STARMAN)

Ooooooohhhhhhhhhh yeeeeeeahhhhhh (the sound of the engine mixed with Paul’s exclamation)

Flanders was taking the thrash out, when he gazed at the Simpsons house, in incredulousness he stood still, waiting for the car to pass by. The car stopped in front of his house, one of the windows goes down, Gene (the demon) looks at Flanders and takes his long tongue out at him. Flanders got scared, and drops all the trash outside the bin. The car squeaked its way out on the street at full speed.

DOWN THE ROAD.

HOMER

Ohhh my… I feel alive, so alive, I missed my beast. Roar baby roooooooaaaar.

PETER(CATMAN)

That’s what I am talking about, give it all you got…

ACE(SPACEMAN)

Homer, play my song… “Rocket ride.”

The gang cruised along town like there’s no tomorrow, Barney was crossing the street when he watched Homer and his Asphalt eater going at full speed, he entered Moe’s tavern and spoke to the crowd.

BARNEY

Moe… Moe… I just saw Homer driving his asphalt eater…

MOE

What? that leaking piece of crap is still around? I can’t believe you, he sold it more than 20 years ago. I still smell the rancid odor of its fluids every morning when I open the store.

BARNEY

Believe me, it was him, riding along with 4 more guys wearing costumes and make-up.

MOE

All right, that’s enough, get out of here, you’re already drunk. I am not serving you anything tonight! Get out! You old drunk.

Getting near Dawn.

HOMER

Listen guys, what now? I want to keep on living this dream forever and ever…

GENE(THE DEMON)

Don’t think about tomorrow, focus on today, live the moment.

HOMER

Uhhhmmmmm… like the song “tomorrow and tonight” I like it, let’s celebrate, time for a beer.

Homer stopped at Apu’s store singing “We can rock all day, we can roll all night… Tomorrow and tonight, tomorrow and tonight Uhhhh Yeahhh… C’mon, alriiiiiiiight!” grabbed a six pack and talked to Apu.

APU

Homer, so late, whata you doin hire? Go home, your total is $8.75, do you want a paper bag?

HOMER

Thanks Apu, I’ll see you “Tomorrow and tonight, tomorrow and tonight Uhhhh Yeahhh… C’mon, alriiiiiiiight!”

BACK IN THE PARKING LOT.

ACE(SPACE ACE)

Yeahh, give me one… OOOOOOhhhhh yeeeahhh “Lady space you like the way, I make you feel inside, take a Rocket ride” (Ace singing to his song)

PAUL(STARMAN)

Alright guys, it’s time to go. Homer, listen, deep inside of you, the kiss spirit still lives, you’re one of us, a true kiss army member.

GENE (THE DEMON)

Don’t let the man domesticate you, be wild and untamed.

PETER(CATMAN)

This is our little secret, now you know how to open the Pandora’s box, we are at your service. Remember, we are what we are, thanks to people like you, true fans.

ACE(SPACE ACE)

Our ride ends here Homer, it was fun, can I take some beers to go? I sure can, right?

HOMER

Thanks guys, it was amazing to spend an evening with my favorite band and my beloved car, But now, I have to say goodbye to my car too?

GENE(THE DEMON)

Stop there, you’re right… let’s think of something. Paul, use your charm, give this poor soul some daily relief.

PAUL(STARMAN)

I got something special, listen, every time you want to be behind the wheel of this asphalt eating machine, just play some Kiss music. No matter what car you drive, the asphalt machine will come to you.

HOMER

Thanks guys, ohhhh… please, group hug!

GENE(THE DEMON)

What tha… (As they hugged each other, a warm feeling of camaraderie lingered in the air.)

PAUL(STARMAN)

Remember Homer… WE LOOOOOOOOVE YOOOOOOU! (That’s the way every kiss concert end, with those same words sang by Paul)

As the guys left this earthly world, Homer stood there watching Ace’s rocket fly into unknown territories, bringing with them a message of freedom and individuality.

THE END.

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