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A lonely story.

By Donna Fox (HKB)Published 11 months ago β€’ 1 min read
Photo by Mariya Tereshkova on Unsplash

I was once loved but now am neglected. My people left eons ago, so long I stopped counting as it stretches beyond years.

I still remember the last time they loved me, the last echo of laughter still rings in my empty now halls.

I’d love to turn back time to the day someone would choose to love me. Then I could go into condemnation peacefully. But that time has long since gone.

Instead, I am left to await my fate in this evermore lonely existence. For I am an old house that no one cares for anymore.

Short StoryLoveHistoricalExcerpt

About the Creator

Donna Fox (HKB)

Thank you for your support and feedback! πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’œ

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Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

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    Original narrative & well developed characters

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    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

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Comments (7)

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  • Rob Angeli9 months ago

    Beautiful and ghostly, full of atmosphere and sadness. Very well written!

  • Mark Gagnon11 months ago

    Abandoned houses evoke so many emotions and potential stories. Nicely done.

  • Awww, that poor house πŸ₯Ί I always love stories that give voice to those without one. Thank you for writing this!

  • Novel Allen11 months ago

    This was beautifully done, capturing the emotions of sadness which could relate to anything is genius. A great short story. Your writing is evolving wonderfully, I know mine does as I learn and grow, Fly little Fox, fly or run....🀣,

  • ThatWriterWoman11 months ago

    This was profound and sad. Well done donna! I adore your descriptions and how you manage to tell such emotion-stirring tales in a short word count is a real skill.

  • Roy Stevens11 months ago

    That's really, and surprisingly heartbreaking! I love what you did here: 'rings in my empty now halls'. When a boring writer (like me usuallyπŸ˜„) would probably write 'now empty halls' you ramp up the house's grief to '11' with your gentle rearrangement of the phrase, slipping emotional poetry into your prose. That's just so powerful! So, you can make people grieve for empty, decrepit buildings Donna- wow!!

  • Paul Stewart11 months ago

    Oh, I like that you wrote this from the house's perspective. Very clever and poignant, such a good job of evoking such emotion in such a short story! Very well done, Donna!

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