Hidden Gems; Malena

Author note: Doug’s POV here. Thanks 😊

*****

I listened to that damn song so much, I couldn’t breathe from how bad I was crying.

Malena, by Ennio Morricone.

I thought of him as a child, lying under his covers, hiding from his father. Hiding from the abuse. Hiding from the world.

Hiding from me.

How could I have been so blind?

That poem he gave me really told me everything.

And now, he’s gone from my life again… and I didn’t even get to tell him….

Did I feel the same?

I knew I cared about him. I knew that he was my friend. But… did I like him the way he liked me?

God. It made me feel so good when he says he liked my ‘dorky smile,’ and my long black hair.

Dang!!!

I think I am falling for him.

I call Judy.

“What’s the big idea?” Is the first thing she says.

I frown. “What?”

“Time difference, Little Brother!” She yawns.

I bit my lip, saying, “I’m sorry! I totally forgot!”

“It’s alright. It’s only.. two in the morning. Yeah, Jack, it is my baby brother, I’ll be back in bed in a minute..”

Jack is her boyfriend. I met him before and he’s pretty nice. I heard some shuffling and muttering and then she says, “So, what’s up? Is everyone okay?”

“Yeah. Look, I can call when it’s daytime. Sorry.”

She sighed. “No. It’s okay. What’s going on?”

“Well…. I need advice, about someone. It’s an old friend. They used to be a bully, and now that we’re older, we are becoming friends.”

Judy makes an affirmative noise, “Who?”

“That’s not why I’m calling. Okay. So… this friend just… out of the blue said they liked me. What do I do?”

“A bully? From school? Was this that red headed kid? Roger?”

I don’t say anything, and realize my silence is an answer more than any denial I could’ve spouted out. She’s way too smart and perceptive—I should’ve known!!

“Oh!!! It is. Okay. So… do you like him?”

“No. I mean. I don’t know.”

“Did you two kiss?”

“No!” I sighed. “Judy… how can you be so cool and calm about this?”

“I’m on Broadway in New York. Need I say more?”

I laughed. “I don’t know what to do.”

“How do you feel about him?”

“Ugh. I think I need to lie down.”

“Hmm. Sounds like love sickness to me.”

“Not love! Wow. Okay. I think I had a weird thing about him when I was seventeen. But… I really only liked Patt—”

“Don’t ever repeat that name! Ever. Oh! I’m so mad about that girl!”

I smile. She’s so overly protective of me.

“Anyway. So… you had a thing for him at seventeen. Now… you have something stronger? Not love. But… a good bond. An attachment. An attraction? Right?”

“Yeah. And we just started hanging out. He gave me a poem. I wasn’t sure at first… but he said it was about me after I asked him …”

“You asked him if it was about you?!”

I was silent, feeling embarrassed. “Yeah?”

“Oh, Doug. That’s… okay. So, what did you say about the poem?”

“I told him I liked it.”

“What do you want out of this relationship?”

“I think…”

“Don’t think. Just feel what’s in your heart. And what’s the first thing you feel…”

I closed my eyes and thought about him.

Everything from start to finish.

I wasn’t sure about the logistics of this relationship, but I felt like I really liked him.

“I wanna try. Try something new. With him.”

“What did you say when he said he liked you?”

“I couldn’t say anything—-he ran away before I could respond. But,” I sighed. “I tried to call him after.”

“No answer?”

“No.”

“This happened?”

“Yesterday.”

“What would you have said? If you had the chance?”

“I… I wanted to tell him I liked him too. I’m scared.”

“Hmmm. I know he used to like me, too. This is too good. I guess we just have great genes, huh, Dougie?”

“Oh, God, Judy. Please don’t say that.”

“I thought he had that gruff, manly type of sensibility to him. I can see how that is attractive. He was sort of cute.”

My heart was racing and I felt goosebumps rising on my arms. He was manly. He had those muscly arms and still dressed like he was still in some biker gang… working on those old cars…. Getting dirty and oily..

“Do you like his broad, masculine shoulders? I bet he’s got those.”

“Aghhh! Judy! I’m begging you to stop!”

She laughed openly. “I’m sorry, baby bro, just relax. I love teasing you. It’s my job. You know, as your big sister.”

“That was overkill, I’d hope that even you would realize that.” I sighed. “I knew he liked you. You didn’t have to rub it in.”

“Right. Sorry. You do like him. That made you a bit jealous. Did you tell mom and dad?”

“No. I don’t think I will. Please don’t say anything.”

“I swear. I won’t.”

“Should I keep calling?”

“No. Give him time to ruminate. Marinate. You need to think some more, and let him talk to you. Okay?”

“But, I miss him. I keep listening to that song he told me he really likes. By Morricone.”

I couldn’t believe I had just said that out loud—-and I heard a small gasp on the other line.

“Oh!! Good taste in music! Doug, I understand. Doug, you gotta let men take the lead. Okay? It’s really simple. Let them think they are in control, and give them room and space. They’ll think you’re going to run away, and that’s when they’ll finally put the final moves down and hold you tight, never letting you go. You understand?”

“Sure.”

“I can hear by the tone of your voice that you don’t get it. But you will. Alright. I’m exhausted. Call me again with an update. When it’s daylight. Okay? Love you. Kiss, kiss. Hug, hug. Ta-ta!”

“Love you too. Thanks!”

I decided to give Roger’s phone number a rest, like Judy recommended.

I decided to text Skeeter to see if he could hang.

It was last minute, and all I said was:

Wanna hang out in downtown? I need to talk.

He responded immediately:

Yes.

We decided to meet up in fifteen minutes. I trusted Skeeter, so I decided I would tell him.

But—-just how much would I tell him?

Oh well. I tried to not think of it.

We met up and walked by the river.

“How’s work?” He asks.

“Fine. Yours? How’s school?”

“Good. I met a girl. She’s in my Lit class.”

“What’s her name?”

“Nora. She’s beautiful. Long black hair, blue eyes. This smile that I love.”

I smiled. “That’s awesome. You got a date?”

“Yes. This Friday. Our first date ever.”

“Well, I hope it works out.”

“Thanks, dude. Hey, aren’t you starting university soon?”

I nodded.

“Bachelor of arts? Right?”

I smiled, he always remembered everything I told him. “Yeah.”

“That’s great. Hopefully you’ll get on track there.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Well…” he paused, looking away. “I was really worried about when you and Patti broke up. I think that going to school will help you focus and get you to realize your situation—-in a forward thinking type of way.”

“Yeah, I mean… it has been tough. I’m still mulling over things kind of. The last few weeks have been crazy. Not great.”

“Can I just be frank with you? For a quick moment?”

We sat by the river’s edge. The moon was out. No one was near us, and it felt so weirdly quiet out. Usually downtown was bustling and crowded. I nodded.

He sighed. “Patti wasn’t right for you. She was too independent. She just… she wasn’t meant for you. And to be more even more honest—-I didn’t like how she acted around you.”

“What do you mean?”

“She didn’t seem happy or proud to be next to you. To be your partner. She didn’t mention you much when you weren’t around. I didn’t like it. Felt off.”

“Yeah.” I frowned and he picked up on it.

“Hey, man. It’s okay. You will find someone way better for you—-I know it.”

Our eyes met and I was terrified that I would suddenly give it all away. All my heart’s desire and feelings and sadness in one look.

“Shit, Doug… you did, didn’t you?” He jumped up and grinned.

“Skeet, I don’t know.”

“Who? Oh man… that’s great!”

“It’s not what you think…” I put my face in my hands.

“Oh… I get it. You haven’t told her?”

I nodded.

“Can you tell me if I know her?”

I nodded, still hiding my face.

“I won’t judge you.”

I moved my hands and saw Skeeter was close to my face.

“I promise!”

I sighed. “It’s someone we went to high school with.”

“Connie? Beebe? Vanessa?”

I shook my head.

“It’s… that’s just it, Skeet. It’s not…” I bit my lip. “It’s not a girl.”

He looks surprised for a moment and then nods. “Is… he Boomer Bledsoe?”

I smiled and shook my head. I knew Skeeter wouldn’t judge me.

“Willie?”

“No.”

“Ohh! Not Al or Moo?”

I crunched up my features, and crinkled my nose.

He laughed. “Okay. I really thought Boomer… might be the one you liked. He is not bad looking.”

I laughed back. “What? You don’t like guys!”

He nodded. “True. But, I’m comfortable talking about it. And to be fair, Boomer was the nicest one out of Roger’s little gang… so… it would make sense.”

As soon as he said the name Roger I knew my face had given it away. My eyes widened and I felt my face heat up.

“Oh… my… God.” His mouth opened wide. “No!! No, Doug!”

“Skeet… I didn’t consciously choose him. It… just happened.”

“You’re already dating!!”

“No!” I stood up. “No, man. We barely even… nothing has happened. I swear.”

He breathed in calmly. “Okay. Cool. So… what happened then?”

We started walking as I explained everything that had occurred between Roger and I, (with omitting Roger’s more secretive details) and once I was done, he seemed content.

“You really like him, huh?”

I nodded.

“Wow. I would’ve never guessed… ever!”

We both laughed, though my laughter was nervous.

“But… will you try to talk to him? Again?”

I nodded. “I got to try.”

“As long as you’re happy. And… he’s not a jerk anymore?”

“Nah. He’s so much more grounded and in control of his emotions now.”

We hung out longer, visiting some downtown shops and I saw something that I knew Roger would love.

A notebook that had this creamy, thick paper (it came with this really good quality pen) and it had an old style muscle car on the front.

I bought it for him.

“Who the heck is that for?”

“The person I told you about..” I whispered.

He nodded, giving me the thumbs up.

We parted ways and he told me he hoped everything would work out with Roger—and I wished the same for him with Nora.

It was at the moment when Skeeter drove away, I saw someone I didn’t think I would again.

Patti.

Patti flippin’ Mayonnaise.

****