Henry and Greta

Once, about five years ago, there lived two children, a brother and sister named Henry and Greta. They lived in a mountain cabin with their father, a woodcut print artist, and their mother, a photographer and fan of old black-and-white movies, particularly those starring Henry Fonda and Greta Garbo, which is how her children got their names.

Every morning, their father would drive Henry and Greta to the nearest school, about a thirty minute drive in his truck, leaving their mother alone in the cabin all day to take photographs of the mountain greenery.

One day, when their father brought Henry and Greta back to their cabin after school, their mother was nowhere to be found! The family did not have another car. She must have taken an Uber.

The children and their father were very sad, especially after their father received a text message from their mother saying she had left them all to start a new life. Yet, the children never gave up hope that one day their mother would return to them.

Their father did not have the same kind of hope, and it wasn't long before he met a young woman at a craft fair who made him forget how sad he was about his wife.

She was working at the string-art table. He thought she looked so beautiful, and she was so kind to the little children, helping them drag the paint covered strings across the paper, that he fell in love. She really liked his woodcut prints, and offered to help him start an online business to sell them.

Once she moved into their cabin, Henry and Greta did not like "Stepmom", as their father told them to call her. All she did from when they woke up in the morning until they went to bed at night was make videos of them helping her make their meals, videos of them doing art projects with her, videos of them going on nature walks, and videos of her reading them bedtime stories.

She said the videos were for her new YouTube channel, where she would give parents advice on " healthy, fun, and educational activities to do with your kids".

From the time they made their first video, the children were not allowed to eat any food made with salt, fat, or sugar. They couldn't even have one cookie. Cake, pudding, pie, and soda pop were completely out of the question.

As if this wasn't bad enough, the children were not allowed to watch TV or use the internet, even though people had to use the internet to watch their videos. It was all a part of what Stepmom called "a simple, sustainable lifestyle".

They spent a lot of time making compost.

Also, Stepmom would not let them go to the school they loved, so she could make videos about "the joys of homeschooling".

If Henry and Greta ever refused to look or sound like they were having the time of their lives, they were put in a time out with no food or water until they agreed to act happy for the next video.

Henry and Greta's father did not know any of this mommy vlogging was happening. Stepmom told him they wanted to be homeschooled, and that the video editing software she bought with their craft fair money was to help them make school projects.

After several months of this life, Henry and Greta decided they did not want to do another YouTube video, so Henry snuck downstairs in the middle of the night to where Stepmom's phone was being charged. He put the phone in the microwave oven and pushed the button that said "Beverage".

The next morning, Stepmom was so angry about her phone that she pushed Henry and Greta out of the house without their jackets and locked the door. She yelled out the window that they would have to find their own food and water until their father came home. They were to tell their father they were learning to survive in the wild for a school project.

Henry and Greta, cold and hungry, cried and cried as they trudged through the woods. Greta, two years younger than Henry, asked him if he was scared.

"No, I'm not that scared," he said, "Remember that girl, Amanda?"

"The one in your class when we used to go to school?"

"Yeah. She said there was a really cool house covered with Oreos and Nutter Butters just down the road from here."

"Oreos and Nutter Butters? They're my favorite cookies! I remember them from when Mommy was here, but I don't remember ever seeing that house."

"That's because it was just built! Amanda told me about it a few days ago when she was out riding her bike and stopped at our house. You were inside helping Stepmom make soap."

So, with Oreos and Nutter Butters dancing in their heads, Henry and Greta continued down the dirt path until it became an actual paved road, and they saw a little house in the distance. Sure enough, the walls and the roof were covered with Oreos and Nutter Butters stuck on with pink and green frosting. It was the most beautiful sight they had seen in their lives.

Though they were tired, they found the energy to run to the house. As they approached the stoop, the front door seemed to open by itself! Then, out stepped a woman wearing a black shirt and pants, with a black wide-brimmed hat on her head, partially covering her face. She was also wearing large-framed sunglasses.

Henry and Greta had never seen a woman who looked like that before, yet she seemed nice as she said in a low voice, "Come in, children. You like Shrek movies?"

Now, Greta thought about their long lost mother a lot, and something about this woman's voice reminded her of something her mother used to tell her and Henry: "Don't go into anyone's house that you don't know".

"Stranger danger! Stranger danger!" yelled Greta, pulling on Henry's arm as he started for the house.

"Good girl, Greta!" exclaimed the woman.

"How does she know our names?" asked Henry.

"Because, look who I am!" said the woman, as she removed her big hat and sun glasses.

It was their mother!

"Mommy!" shouted Henry and Greta, aa they ran to her and threw their arms around her. She hugged and kissed them and brought them into her house. She left the front door open because she did not want it to look like she was kidnapping her children.

As she showed Henry and Greta around the house, they marveled at the bowl of cheese puffs and plate of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies on the table by the couch, next to a half-done jigsaw puzzle of a Henry Fonda movie poster. They gasped, seeing a Shrek movie paused on a large flat screen TV on the wall, just as their mother summoned them into the kitchen.

"Do we have to help you make n0-bake health bars?" Greta asked, nervously.

"Of course not!" replied their mother, "Feel free to grab some orange or grape soda from the fridge. I'm going to text your dad to tell him where you guys are."

"No!" shouted Henry. "We are on punishment! We are locked out of the house until Dad gets home, but he's not supposed to know about that!"

"Yes, please don't tell Daddy where we are!" shouted Greta.

"What are you guys talking about?" asked their mother.

Just then, they were startled by the sound of the front door slamming and loud footsteps into the kitchen. It was Stepmom!

"What are you doing with my kids?" she shouted angrily at Henry and Greta's mother.

"I am their mother," she gently replied.

"If I had my phone, I'd call the cops and have them arrest you for kidnapping!"

"My door was open. I was going to let them go home whenever--"

"You don't look like their mother!"

Henry had to chime in, "All our pictures of Mom are gone! You don't know what she looks like!"

"I'll just text their dad," said Henry and Greta's mother. "He'll clear everything up here," but, just as she was taking her phone out of her pocket, Stepmom lunged for her, grabbed her phone and threw it out the open window.

Henry and Greta's mother hadn't put screens in her windows yet. She had planned to contact their father soon to help her do that.

She was hoping to rejoin the family, feeling she had made a terrible mistake leaving them. But, if their father did not agree to this, she hoped Henry and Greta could live part of the time with her and the other part with him.

As Stepmom was yelling about her hundreds of YouTube subscribers and how many likes she gets every day, Henry whispered into Greta's ear, "Ask Mom to show you where the bathroom is, while I sneak outside."

"But I don't have to go," whispered Greta.

"Pretend," whispered Henry.

So, as Henry inched his way to the front door, Greta shouted as loud as she could, "WHERE'S THE BATHROOM? I HAFTA GO REAL BAD!"

"Come with me. I'll show you where it is," said her mother.

"Oh, no, you don't! She's coming with me. I can drive her home to our bathroom."

"No, I have to go RIGHT NOW!" shouted Greta, crossing her legs and jumping around.

While all this was going on, Henry saw his mother's phone lying in the grass. He picked it up, and tried hard to remember the password, which his mother had told him long ago in case of an emergency. In an instant, the password came to him: both his and Greta's birthdates. He hoped his mother hadn't changed it as he typed it in. It worked!

He didn't know how to access the contact list, but he knew how to record a video. Amanda had showed him that. He snuck back into the house and began secretly taping what was going on inside.

"She's my child!" shouted Stepmom.

"Did you marry my children's father?" asked their mother.

"Well, no, because he's not divorced yet, but I've been taking care of them every day! People around the world watch me every day homeschooling them, cooking nutritious meals with them, composting--"

"We hate all that!" yelled Greta, seeing that Henry was taping this. "And she locked us out of the house all day without food or water until Dad gets home!"

Suddenly, they heard heavy footsteps entering the house. "Dad IS home!" shouted their father.

"Good, you're here!" shouted Stepmom.

Henry and Greta's father passed Stepmom without looking at her on his way to speak to their mother.

"Honey, I thought I'd never see you again! Are you OK? I thought you never wanted anything to do with us again, and then I met--"

"I totally understand. It's OK. I needed a break, but I took it too far. I know that now. But if you are all happy with this new woman--"

"NO, WE'RE NOT!" screamed Henry and Greta.

Henry and Greta's father explained that he had no idea Stepmom was forcing the children to make YouTube videos or punishing them in any way. When he asked Henry and Greta why they never told him, they replied, "We were afraid of Stepmom."

"She's not your stepmom," replied their father. She's a momfluencer-- a mommy vlogger who wants to make money from pretending to care about you and me.

"That's not true!" shouted Stepmom. "If you could see our videos--"

Before she could finish her sentence, Henry and Greta's father threatened to call Child Protective Services if she did not leave their family alone forever, so leave them alone forever, she did.

In the coming weeks, Henry, Greta, and their parents attended several sessions of family therapy. Their parents also went to couple's therapy while their children were at school. After a few months, their parents had a vow renewal ceremony to confirm to everyone that they were a family again.

No one taped the ceremony. It lived on only in the family's memory, as they lived together in their old house and turned the cookie-covered house into a rental B&B.

And they all lived happily ever after.