He's Still Got Heart

Light from the doorway falls on Neptune and Pluto as they have a drink in the corner.

Pluto: Oh, looks, here comes the Sun. Thinks he’s so damn hot. So bossy, probably start throwing his weight around, telling us where to go, how to dance. Why don’t you try some Ozempic!

Neptune: Hush, Pluto.

Pluto: Big surprise, Mercury is buzzing around him like a gnat. When you get your Ozempic, pick him up some ritalin!

Neptune: What is wrong with you?

Pluto: Nothing. Oh, great, here comes Jupiter and his whole entourage. Can’t go anywhere alone, can you, ya gas bag? They must have nose clips to be able to hang around you. And get some ointment for that spot! It’s not going away on its own!

Neptune: Please, Pluto….who are you going to go after next, Saturn?

Pluto: Damn straight! Thinks she’s all that. Your rings are just as beautiful, but you don’t have to shove them in everyone’s face. Just a bunch of trash costume jewelry anyway.

Neptune: And what about Mars and Venus, huh?

Pluto: Eh, they’re not bad people. Be nice if they learned to listen to each other, but not bad on their own. Oh.

Neptune: What?

Pluto: It’s Earth.

Neptune: Oh.

Pluto: Look at her. The bully.

Neptune: Pluto…

Pluto: She called me a dwarf! Like I’m less than her. Yeah, I’m a little smaller, but I’m out here, heart on my sleeve, and that’s how she treats me. And everyone still loves her. Well, we’ll see how they feel once they start catching whatever disease she’s got. She’s kept a pretty tight lid on it, but believe you me, she’s gonna start passing it with how she gets around. Oi, Mars, don’t get too close!

Neptune: You keep this up, and you’re going to get kicked out of the party.

Pluto: I’d like to see them try. What are they going to do, vote on it?

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For the ingenious L.C. Schaefer’s challenge: