"He is a murderer, I understand that very well": how a American woman, after the first date, married a man sentenced to 23 years

Alas, many women are waiting for their husbands and lovers from prison. However, some of them do not mind linking their fate with a man already serving time, going to him on rare dates hundreds of kilometers away and hoping that in the future they will definitely be able to live happily ever after. Anna shared her story with us.

The first time I got married very early and for great love. We lived together for a long time, had a child, but in 2015 we realized that we could not be together. I can't say that my ex-husband was to blame for this, or just me - it happened.

The divorce had a profound effect on my life. For two years I did not live, but existed: I lost a lot of weight, constantly thought about the insults inflicted on me by my husband, and almost did not communicate with anyone, including old friends and relatives.

I understood: something needs to be changed urgently. So one day I decided to register on a dating site.

In just three days, I received a lot of likes, compliments, as well as tempting and not so great offers from a variety of men. But I drew attention only to the page of a certain Nikolai, who only wrote "Hello" to me.

For a whole week we actively corresponded and, it seems, already knew absolutely everything about each other - including the fact that we live in neighboring cities. Soon he admitted that he had special feelings for me and that I was completely different from all those with whom he had previously communicated on the Internet. That is why Nikolai decided to reveal his main secret: as it turned out, he has been in prison for 8 years already, and under a serious article.

It is difficult to convey what I felt at that moment - from the photo in his profile it was completely impossible to guess that he was in prison. And yet curiosity prevailed - I wildly wanted to know his story, whatever it may be.

I took a break in our communication and started studying the case. My new acquaintance did not go into the details of what happened, but said that he was sentenced to 23 years under Article 105 - that is, for murder.

I had a friend in the city archives, so I was able to personally get acquainted with his case. I remember with what trembling I read the materials of the investigation. From them I learned that Nikolai beat two men to death because of a conflict over illegal substances, and then burned their bodies to hide the evidence.

I understand perfectly well that the murder can occur through negligence or some other factors justifying a person. My father, for example, also served many years for knocking down two pedestrians to death. But Nikolai was a real killer.

I was shocked that fate brought me to such a person. I immediately stopped the correspondence, but literally a couple of days later I was surprised to realize that I was terribly lacking in this communication. Do not even think: he did not try to powder my brains with romantic promises, and then unwind for money or intimacy, as the victims often write about this "waiting" on the Internet. He was just sincerely interested in my affairs, asked about my daughter, tried to help in some way. Therefore, I decided to take a chance - after all, nothing prevented me from at least just trying.

An exception

After a couple of weeks of close communication, Nikolai suggested that I come to him for a long meeting - that is, stay alone with him for a whole day in a local hotel for prisoners. At first, I was afraid of meeting in such a place. And yet he managed to get my consent. By the way, in order to prove the seriousness of his intentions, he introduced me to his mother in absentia by arranging a telephone conversation with us.

Despite this, for some time I had the feeling that I looked like a woman of easy virtue - all because Nikolay paid for the most expensive of the rooms on his own (don't be surprised, there are "suites" there) and sent me money for groceries. I decided to return part of the funds to him - this way I was calmer about my status. Although what I mean - I could not even sleep normally, knowing what kind of meeting awaits me soon.

On day X, I arrived at the colony with a shiver. During a search at the entrance, one of the employees noticed my excitement. She told me that I am not like the women who usually come here. I think she made such a conclusion based on my appearance - after all, I have my own business, albeit a small one, and I like to spend money on quality things and beauty salons.

“You don't belong here. You are completely different. Sorry, but you have nothing to look for here, ”she told me sharply after the search.

Of course, this was just a warning, but it really hurt my feelings - it was as if a rebel woke up in me, confident in the correctness of my actions. I said that I absolutely did not care about her opinion, and boldly went to meet fate.

Sharp turn

After agonizing minutes of waiting, I saw him live for the first time. To say that I was scared, to say nothing. I am a very petite girl, but Nikolai is a two-meter giant with iron biceps. Then the thought flashed through my mind that being alone with him could already be dangerous for my life.

However, after a couple of minutes he hugged me tightly, kissed me, and all the bad thoughts from my head disappeared ...

Despite the fact that this was our first (and such an unusual) date, we immediately hit it off. We talked a lot, cooked dinner, watched TV. Suddenly he asked me to sit on the bed. Then he got down on one knee and asked me ... to become his wife.

I immediately agreed. I did not have a single thought about the insincerity of Nikolai's intentions or that he was not a suitable party for me. According to him, I became the first serious hobby, "a real soul mate, the light in his life." He went to prison immediately after the army, and until that moment he had hardly met anyone, so he realized that he had such deep feelings for the first time.

Important day

We wanted to formalize the relationship as soon as possible, so the next day I started preparing for the wedding: I found out what documents were needed, constantly ran to different authorities, looking for suitable rings and other permitted holiday attributes. My beloved, in turn, tried to arrange a long meeting for us immediately after registration - the administration does not always meet halfway even for newlyweds and can only allow them to retire after a week or a month.

On the wedding day, I brought beauty, met with the parents of my future husband, and we went together first for a birthday cake, and then for the registrar at the registry office - the ceremony is prohibited outside the territory of the colony.

Despite this, I was in a white dress: albeit not very lush, but festive and elegant. The groom was not allowed to change into a suit - he remained in work clothes.

After we were declared husband and wife, we were given only 10 minutes for communication and congratulations. And then my newly-made husband ran to work - we met him only in the evening, when he completed all the tasks. By the way, right after the end of our long meeting, he returned his ring to me. According to the rules, it is forbidden for prisoners to wear jewelry, as it can cause clashes and theft.

Anxiety and sorrow

As you understand, because of the place where my husband is, I cannot help but worry about him and try to do everything possible to make his life easier and safer. We are constantly in touch: already at 6 am I receive the first messages from him.

During the day, Nikolai goes to work out / work out in the gym / work. Perhaps these hours are the longest and most painful for me. After all, I realize that there are people next to him, many of whom are only happy to have conflict with someone.

About a year ago, they tried to kill my husband.

Once he did not get in touch for several hours, which is not at all like him. I immediately suspected something was wrong and began to try to find out what happened to him. I phoned his local friends and coworkers, with whom I had already made friends. I literally begged to find out how my Nikolai was doing. Soon, information reached me that he was urgently taken to the intensive care unit.

Later my husband told me that he had a quarrel with some prisoner because of a cat that Nikolai was feeding. Word for word, and as a result, after lights out, they punched him in the head with a sharp object, which should not have been on the territory of the colony at all!

I was beside myself with excitement and really hoped to find out exactly where my husband is now and how this could have happened. Alas, the head of the prison not only did not want to talk to me, but also demonstrated that he deeply did not care what would happen to his prisoner. Like, let him at least die, he is a fallen man. Here I could not stand it. I shouted very loudly, was indignant and tried to find a way to restore justice by contacting more important officials. Since then, everyone in the colony began to fear me. The husband later said that immediately after he woke up, he was handed a phone and told to call me as soon as possible to calm me down.

Nikolai came to his senses for a long time after a difficult operation, which, by the way, was not performed very well for him - again, due to the fact that he is serving time, which means he does not deserve neat stitches and on time prescribed procedures.

For me, this incident also did not pass without a trace. The fact is that at that moment I was pregnant with our common child. Soon I had a miscarriage.

Great expectations

Much has happened over these two years. We were both very happy and almost desperate. I found new relatives in the person of Nikolai's parents - they treat me like their own daughter and are really looking forward to when we will give them a grandson. But my mother never accepted my marriage to a prisoner.

Realizing the complexity of the situation, I hid for a long time that I was meeting with a man who was serving time and was marrying him.

And then my mother accidentally saw my passport with a different surname and could not come to her senses for a long time. She believes that I should not have repeated her mistakes. Plus, she doesn't like the fact that for the sake of dating I sometimes leave my daughter alone for a few days. But she just does not yet understand that Nikolai is great about Zhenya, and she - to him. They communicate like a real father and daughter. They even have their own tradition. Sometimes the spouse "sees off" Zhenya when she walks alone. At this moment, Nikolai calls his daughter on the phone and talks to her until she enters the apartment and locks the door.

The daughter does not know what exactly my husband is imprisoned for. So far, I just told her that he "cheated when he was young." Of course, in the future I plan to tell her how things really are.

In general, after he is free, we plan to start a new life: sell my apartment in St. Petersburg and leave for another place. At one time, the whole city discussed Nikolai's case, and we do not want this to interfere with our normal life in the future.

In addition, we are counting on early release from the colony - in about a year and a half. Now in Russia there are specialized centers for convicts, where you can live together with the whole family, work and be in a normal society.

Of course, for this I will have to live in some remote region for several years, but for the sake of my beloved I am ready for anything.

We have a very bright, clean relationship, and, perhaps, we are really made for each other. Of course, sometimes we have scandals - where can we go without them? We may not communicate for a whole week, block each other on social networks and be jealous of the past, albeit the most frivolous relationship. But in the end, we call up again and talk about our feelings. Often a loved one sends me bouquets to work, gives me gifts, and I give him. Despite this, he never asks for financial help. He feels responsible for our family, and he also helps me develop my business - after all, I work on the Internet. I hope the time will fly by as soon as possible - we really want to be together all the time, and not meet every few months.