He Gave It All for Her Love

It made no logical sense. She was way out of his league in every objective manner - looks, personality, intelligence, money. 

She never stopped claiming to want him, relentlessly, until he finally succumbed and poured his every wish, hope, and desire into all the possibilities. 

First Kiss

Her lips were initially firm, almost commanding, then seamlessly morphed into the softest, sweetest, surrender a man could ever dream of experiencing on earth. 

Half dream-half consciousness, it was too much for his brain to imprint in any meaningful way - as if his own biology knew he couldn't survive a memory so powerful and overwhelming. 

Subservience and surrender

He'd never loved someone with such intensity - the thought of losing this love created a near mental disorder of illogical insecurity and foolish, self-limiting, almost demeaning behavior. 

Despite her having a strong income, he emptied his bank account first, then his retirement account then sold his jewelry, and finally stopped paying his bills altogether. 

He would've donated multiple body parts for this love to last forever. 

Part of him knew he was slipping into the kind of surrender that would slowly steal his individuality, life philosophies, and any guiding set of principles, morals, or ethics. 

He lived for her to love him. That's all. 

Partnership personified 

All he wanted was a partner - in love, life, spiritually, eternally, and financially. 

He knew he was on an unsustainable course. 

She drifted. At first subtly, then outright maliciously.

But he was in too deep - emotionally, psychologically, biologically. 

He loved her so deeply, for the first time, he wondered whether he'd be willing to share her with others to make her happy - and reignite their once-in-a-lifetime love - if that's what it took. 

It ended

Nothing could fill the whole - not bravery, not family, not crying, not endless attempts at reorganizing his mind and body to accept reality.

He was surprised and a little afraid at the level of despair he was experiencing - his brain spewing a neverending series of 'what ifs' as if his mind was attacking itself. 

As if his own spirit, body, and soul turned on him - punishing him for losing everything - and being so foolish and stupid. 

Happily never after

I'd like to tell you time healed him and he found an even stronger, though more balanced, love. 

He did not. 

Sure. He tried. 

He dated. He "tried" a few relationships, but his heart wasn't into it. 

As the days, turned to months, then years, it dawned on him. 

He was never going to love that way again. 

The love of his lifetime, a love he never even dared to dream could exist, took the wind out of his sails - indefinitely. 

Better to have loved and lost….

How dare he pity himself. He experienced what many never do. 

He had a few years where every second of every day was ablaze with passion and potential. 

He experienced romance you only see in the movies or read about in fairy tales. 

He was loved so deeply he felt he was being rewarded well beyond what he deserved. 

He ultimately accepted the loss and began to enjoy the beauty of a rainbow or the miracle of a child's giggle, but he enjoyed life, alone. 

Will he ever love again? Most likely. 

Will he ever love someone as intensely as the girl he gave it all for?

No. She will remain a powerful influence over him for the rest of his life. 

Does she deserve this everlasting devotion and pull? 

It's irrelevant, she possesses it. 

He hopes, should she ever approach him again in a desire to reignite the love they once had, he would be strong enough to walk away. 

Would he?

He hopes so but isn't sure.