Godly Entertainment

Hello, Reader! My name is Gary Oliver Daniels, but you may call Me, God. I am the creator of the known universe, and you are now holding my latest masterpiece. Have I gotten your attention? No? Too bad, you will read this, or I’ll smite you.

My favorite show is called, The Life of Alex and it takes place in the distant future. In this future, humanity has left Earth in search for a better life but have created a far more complicated one. Humans are no longer alone, and lifeforms from all over the known universe gather together on space stations sprinkled throughout cosmos. These winged vessels house the universe's hottest shops, restaurants, and places of entertainment.

The setting of this show takes place on the space station known as the Dexterity. It is one of the smaller stations but home to some of the deepest pockets in the known galaxies. Among its shops is a small booth called, Galactic Resell. Working at this booth is the show’s protagonist. She is a human woman in her mid-thirties named, Alex.

Alex starts each shift by tapping the monitor above the glass counter and contemplating what she should display. Alot rides on this initial decision. If she doesn’t choose wisely, she could lose the company hundreds of bits. The first item that appears on her screen is a fuzzy jock strap. She rotates the item to get a better look at the elastics but decides it’s not good enough. Continuing her search, Alex finds an outfit from the planet, Crinton 5. The leather jacket made from the hide of the Horned Platypus flows down to the ground, holes are cut into the sleeves and down the spine of the jacket to give it an edgy look, and Underneath the brown jacket is a silver, mesh-like shirt that reflects light in a way to hide the exposed skin underneath. Below the shirt is a pair of black pants woven from giant spider silk and dyed using the oil from Crinton 5’s crust. It’s a lovely piece. I just wish I wasn’t an omnipotent being without a body, otherwise I’d have three.

Satisfied with her selection, Alex has the holographic discs in the floor display a pixelated version and moves on to doing maintenance on the BHC units. These trunk sized cubbies make up the side walls of the shop and are used to store and transport the wares Alex buys and sells. To make sure the Black Hole Cubby is in working order, Alex selects one of the Crinton 5 outfits to be delivered and waits.

Hundreds of thousands of miles away, on the Galactic Resell corporate planet, a machine receives the order and places the outfit into their BHC unit. Once the outfit is inside, the metal door closes and the black hole within sucks up the clothes and transports them through space and time until they conveniently reach Alex’s store. When the clothes arrive, a light ding notifies Alex that the outfit has arrived and that it is safe to remove from the BHC. Happy with the quality of the clothing, Alex leaves the outfit in the unit and begins opening the store.

As Alex deactivates the laser gate, a sea of needy customers come swarming in.

The first customer of the day is one of My favorite creations. Their species is known as the Dinotraclophian. The women of this species have frog heads, small t-rex sized arms covered in feathers, a torso that looks like a fallen log on a pair of grasshopper legs, and a tail that looks more natural on a lion. The men are very similar, same head, but instead of limbs they have a tiny spike underneath their neck that is only good for sex. Thankfully for you and Alex, this Dinotraclophian was female. Her skin was a vibrant pink, she wore a purple tank top, exposing the tuff of feathers on her long stomach, and a pair of ripped jeans that cut off where her legs hooked into an acute angle. The Dinotraclophian placed a shoebox onto the glass counter and said,

“Are you guys buying today?”

This question never failed to make Alex’s skin crawl, but I loved it! It was like the show’s catchphrase and Alex, being the classic comedic relief she was, thought,

Nope! Our entire livelihood hangs on the balance of buying stock from the public but in a desperate attempt to spite you, and you only, we aren’t buying today.

In reality she said, “We are! I just need to get a valid Space ID and an earphone number to get you checked in.”

The Dinotraclophian reached into her bosom, retrieved a small card from the depths of her feathery chest, and slid the plastic over the counter. Alex picked up the warm card, keyed in the last three digits, and entered the customer’s name. When she finished putting in the earphone number Alex said,

“Thanks, Trina, here is your ID back. If you’ll just hang tight, I’ll get started looking at your things and give you an offer momentarily.”

Trina shook with excitement. She tapped the side of her shoebox, and it unfolded revealing a small, metallic tube with hundreds of buttons on it. Alex stared at the device with disgust and Trina frowned.

“Do you not buy tricksabers?”

Alex sighed. They did buy tricksabers. Thousands in fact, but she didn’t want to hurt Trina’s feelings, so she smiled and said,

“We buy and sell everything but dreams, drugs, and people.”

“OH! That’s a relief. For a minute I thought I flew all this way for nothing. Why don’t you buy dreams?”

Alex tapped a few buttons on her screen and a white light started to scan underneath the tricksaber.

“If the company bought dreams the staff wouldn’t work.”

Trina gave a nervous giggle and pointed towards the counter, “What’s that doing?”

“The counter is scanning your item to make sure you aren’t hiding any illegal contraband. It also makes sure all the parts are included.”

“What do you do then?”

Alex smiled and said, “Stand here and look pretty. Am I doing okay so far?”

Trina gave another nervous giggle and said, “You’re a little too limby for my taste, but I’m sure some human thing finds you delicious.”

Alex cringed, “You sure know how to make a girl feel pretty.” She lifted the tricksaber and began pressing buttons. The first button she pushed made a large green beam of energy shoot out one of the ends. When the beam turned on, a swooshing sound followed, and she could feel heat emitting from it. With a sly grin, Alex tapped her screen and one of the BHCs beeped. When she opened the trunk, a mannequin was inside, and Alex quickly took it out and propped it on the wall. Meanwhile, Trina stared with her mouth agape as Alex lifted the tricksaber over her head and sent it crashing towards the plastic man. Alex’s heart fluttered as the beam made contact with the mannequin’s head but instead of splitting it in half like she thought, the mannequin’s head duplicated. Due to the extra weight, the mannequin crashed to floor, causing a loud bang.

Trina held her chest and asked, “Why’d you do that? You could have killed me.”

Alex straightened her shirt and said, “Company policy says I have to test every device before making an offer. We don’t want to buy an item that doesn’t work.”

“I thought your counter thingy did that?”

Alex shrugged, “I thought the same thing, but you know how companies are.” Alex walked back up to her monitor and checked the box saying the item being sold worked. She then did a few checks to see what the new and used prices were and inputted that into her computer as well. When all the data was entered, the computer generated an offer and Alex said,

“Alright Trina, based on the resale ability of this item, we can invest twenty bits today.”

“Twenty bits!?” Trina’s left eye twitched as she used her tongue to wipe the other. “I paid forty in fuel just to get here. Twenty bits is ridiculous!”

“I’m sorry ma’am, I don’t generate the offer. Corporate has an algorithm that weighs the supply and demand of the item and cross references that with our sales history. I know the offer isn’t a lot, but we have to try and make a profit off of the items we buy. If you don’t like it, you can always take the tricksaber back.”

Trina continued to lick her eye as she thought, “Can I get more if I do store credit?”

“We do bit offers only, but you can use the bits you get to put it towards an item in the store.”

Trina eyed the Crinton 5 outfit, “You really can’t bump it up any more than that?”

“Unfortunately, not.”

Trina sighed and pointed a feathered hand at the Crinton 5 outfit, “How much would I have to pay after putting my bits towards that?”

“Five.”

Trina’s eyes lit up. “I’ll take it!”

Alex clicked accepted offer and pulled out the Crinton 5 outfit she had stored in the BHC. Once she had that scanned, she took the twenty bits off from the offer and said,

“Five bits is your total.”

Trina once again dug into her feathery bosom and pulled out five small rocks. The rocks clinked on the glass and Alex tapped her monitor. The bits were sucked into the counter and the outfit was folded into a palm sized triangle. Trina collected the triangle and stuffed it into her breasts before leaving and Alex moved on to the next customer.

As the day went on, Alex completed a total of fifty buys and by the final hour of her shift things were finally starting to slow down. The line was gone, the space station had an evening lull, and she was ready to clock out and start living her life. Business never stopped though, and a hooded figure wearing all black approached her carrying a matching briefcase with golden clasps. When the figure reached the counter, they gently placed the briefcase on top of the glass surface and asked,

“Is it too late to sell my stuff?”

“Not at all.” Alex pointed to the window and added, “As long as the sun can be seen we are open for business. I might not be the one helping you, but someone will always be here to assist.”

“Excellent!” The figure unfastens the case and adds, “Now, what is your policy on pyrotechnics?”

Inside the case is a nest of multi-colored wires. In the middle of the wires is a single screen with white numbers counting down from eight minutes. When Alex saw the bomb, she slammed the lid shut, pushed the briefcase toward the shady figure, and said:

“I’m sorry, but we can’t really invest in this right now.”

“That’s too bad, I thought the Galactic Resell bought everything?”

In a pained voice Alex said, “We buy everything but dreams, drugs, and people.”

Meanwhile, Alex slowly moved her hand towards the silent alarm hidden underneath the counter. As her finger hovered over the tiny button, the figure pulled back their trench coat and placed their hand over the Comet 3000 that was strapped to their hip. Alex had seen one of those guns before. When she was a kid, she passed an Outer Rim soldier wearing the exact same one.

“I wouldn’t press that if I were you.”

Alex pulled her hand away from the button and raised it above the counter so the figure could see.

“Can’t blame a girl for trying. But I’m pretty sure I can’t help you.”

“You’ll make an exception for me.”

Alex stared at the gun. It looked like most revolvers throughout history but instead of having a metallic chamber, it had a red stone that gave off a matching aura as it charged. While the gun hummed to life the figure said,

“So how much could I get for this priceless artifact?”

Alex tapped her monitor and the counter started to scan the case. She hoped the system would warn corporate or give her the information to disarm the bomb, but all it showed was an image of the briefcase and how the clasps were made of real gold. To make matters worse the computer wanted her to pay a thousand bits for it. Capitalism could be a bitch.

“Well, if you were to remove the bomb, we could give you a thousand bits today.”

“And ruin the fun? No, I decline your offer, but there is something I would like to buy from you.”

“Well, if you buy it in under five minutes and get the hell out of here, I’ll throw in a complimentary mug. If you take the bomb with you, it’s all free.”

“Sweet offer, but no thanks. All I need are answers, and I have discovered that people tend to tell the truth when they are about to die.”

Alex looked back at the bomb and saw that she had less than four minutes now. If she didn’t figure out a way to diffuse it, her and all the people on the ship would die.

“You seem stressed, Alex.”

“How do you know my name?”

“Easy. Believe it or not, I’m capable of reading a name tag. Are you ready to answer my questions, or do you need more time to stare death in the face?”

“Fuck off!”

“No need to be snippy. I thought Galactic Resell prided themselves on friendliness. I must say, you haven’t been very kind so far. When did you say that coworker of yours was coming to relieve you?”

Alex’s heart flipped. She had forgotten all about Goober. The clock read eight pm and he should be there any minute. If they worked together, they could take this freak out without any problems.

“He should be here any minute, why?”

“I was just wondering. My partner met a lovely Glooptonion on the way in here and he was wearing a similar shirt to yours. I’d hate to think that something happened to him.”

Alex’s hope burned out. That was it. She was going to die and there was nothing she could do about it. In a panic she screamed,

“Why are you doing this?”

This got the attention of the other passengers and the security bot started to roll towards the figure. In one quick motion, the hooded figure removed their comet 3000 and fired at the security guard. Sparks flew and the machine collapsed. The other passengers screamed, and people were sent into a panic. The figure returned their attention towards Alex and had the gun pointed at her.

“Do something like that again and I’ll put a hole in you. Understand?”

Alex nodded and eyed the bomb. The screen said they had two minutes left. “What does it matter? If I comply, I die, and if I don’t, I still die!”

“Now you’re getting it!”

“What are you talking about? Just tell me what to do to get out of here alive?”

The figure threw their head back and cackled, “You would trust me, just like that?”

“If it meant I could live, yeah. This seems to be your show.”

It's actually My show but whatever.

“Okay, and if I let you live what would you do?”

Alex was taken aback by this question, “I don’t know. Start the blog I always wanted to try.”

“Why haven’t you tried it before? Your life could end at any moment, yet you are standing here buying trash. Why?”

“I have to pay for food somehow. I can’t live off air alone.”

“Death. Are you seeing a pattern here? If you don’t work you could physically die, but when you are working you emotionally die. Plus, you have no time to do the things you love. Answer me this, once you die, will you get to do all of those things you wanted to do?”

“I… I don’t know. I just want to live. Please stop!”

“You humans are all the same. You go about your mundane lives trying to forget that one day you’ll cease to exist and then when someone, or something, reminds you, you are unsatisfied with the life you have already had.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Without death, and the fear of it, you can’t live. On the other hand, if you have too much fear, you’ll be too afraid to do anything but avoid death. Neither sound much like a life to me.”

The timer beeped and Alex threw herself onto the ground. The figure laughed again and said, “Relax. You have another minute left of your pathetic life but I’m curious to see if you learned anything. What am I trying to teach you?”

“That you’re a masochistic freak.”

“Not a bad guess, but a wrong one. NO. In fact,” The figure removed its hood, revealing the squared head of a robot. The monitor it used for a face showed a smaller version of the scene unfolding. Alex was cowering behind the counter, the common area around them was empty, and red and white lights flickered as the sound of sirens wailed in the background. “Unlike you I can never die. If I were to take this gun and blow my circuits, I would just wake up in another shell and keep on existing.”

“So? What does that have to do with me?”

“Nothing. We are both here to entertain.”

“What are you talking about?”

The timer went off, and Alex screamed, but the bomb didn’t detonate. The robot laughed once more, and the eight-minute countdown restarted. Alex stood up and started ripping wires out of the bomb. She couldn’t take it anymore. She would rather blow up the entire station then deal with this torture any longer. Tears streamed down her face as the multi-colored wires fell from her hands like confetti. When the final wire was removed and the timer within the briefcase stopped counting, she smiled, but when she looked up at the robot and saw that the timer was now on its screen, her heart stopped.

“Are you finished, Alex? The case was a decoy. I’m the bomb and always have been. When and how I go off is up to the viewer, so if you want to live you better convince him that your pathetic life is worth it.”

“Who are you talking about? What viewer? What about all the other people on this station, does the viewer want to see them die too? If you’re some Outer Rim fanatic trying to get revenge on the humans, don’t you think this is a bit extreme? There are multiple species here who have nothing to do with the expansion, are you going to kill them too?”

The robot stepped closer to Alex and said, “I am not affiliated with those low lives. My agenda is controlled by the viewer. If he says they die, then they die. Now, tell him why I should let you live. Unless you want to die? I forget that you carbon based organisms have gods that you go to when you perish? Does that make you long for death?”

As God, I can tell you that Alex had no answer, and as her maker I can tell you I have no intention on meeting her nor will she ever get the pleasure. In fact, no one will ever meet Me and the words you are reading are the closest you will ever get to seeing Me. You and Alex’s lives were created to entertain Me, and I must say she is doing a splendid job at the moment. I will also say, she is praying profusely. I admit, the attention is nice, but I shan’t interfere. Don’t get Me wrong, I could save her, but that would be so unoriginal. How many times does the god of the story save the protagonist? Too many. No, she will have to be the heroine of her story or die trying.

DING!

Oh! My snacks are done, let us get back to the program!

The timer on the robot’s face was now at two minutes. Alex could feel the desperation collecting in her stomach and she really needed to shit. In one last attempt to survive, Alex leapt over the counter and barreled towards the robot.

Surprised by her sudden bravery, the robot neglected to pull its gun out but as Alex closed the distance between them, the robot regained its wits and shot her. A blast of red energy sprung from the gun’s barrel and slammed into Alex’s chest. The blast sent her flying back into the counter, causing her body to slump when it made contact.

Was she dead? Me in heaven! Why had I not interfered? My heart ached, but the show was finally getting good. If she died, I could always move on to the next plaything.

The robot wasn’t sure if it had actually killed the girl either, so it stepped towards her and gave Alex’s foot a kick. She gasped back to life and felt the area on her chest where the blast had hit her. No hole was present and besides the wind being knocked out of her, she was perfectly fine.

“I thought you wanted to kill me?”

“I want to kill you more than anything.”

“Then why am I alive?”

“Robots aren’t allowed to harm humans.”

“Then why are you doing this?”

“To kill the you that is holding you back.” The robot stood up, raised the Comet 3000 up to its head and fired. The robot collapsed and a giant hole was blown through its screen. Alex sat there in shock but as time passed, she walked towards the counter, tapped the screen on her monitor and wrote:

Dear Galactic Resell, Human Resource Department,

It comes with great sadness that I must resign from my position at Galactic Resell. You have given me many opportunities but alas I was unable to follow one simple rule. I bought a dream. A hooded figure came in today and opened my eyes to the power that a dream can have. I know this was wrong. You will lose a large sum of money from my foolishness and for that I do apologize, but I’m sure my replacement will do better at returning your investment on their lives.

Sincerely,

Alex

PS. I took the tricksaber.

And with that Alex left her job at the Galactic Resell. She is now the travel blogger she always wanted to be and is jumping between planets writing about the fun you can have in the stars. As for the robot, it is safely here with me. I call it TV. I send it throughout the known universe to capture exciting moments in the lives of my creations. Maybe I’ll have it create a romcom next, Alex seems awfully lonely with all of that freedom. Or I’ll send it to you. Yes! that’s what I’ll do, and to make it more interesting I’ll send you a letter in the mail telling you the story of dear Alex to keep you preoccupied.

You should look up now. Do you see TV? Give it a wave for Me. You can’t see but I’m waving back. Thank you for entertaining Me tonight. You may have just become My new favorite show. Too bad it’s the season finale. I heard you had a terrible accident and will be unable to leave your bed. Good luck healing, and remember, I’m always watching.