Fortune and the Woodcutter

"A woodcutter, sick of working and always being poor, took to his bed instead of working. He told his wife he had had enough of Fortune's tricks and would not chase after her.

A neighbor borrowed their mules to secretly steal from the sultan. When he saw soldiers, he hid. The mules ran back to their master. The wood-cutter and wife became rich. Chasing after Fortune made her flee, and doing nothing made her appear".

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F#%*ed story.

Fortune has always hated the poor and needy.

"Such pathetic fools, always trying to catch me, why should I waste my time with them, would they even know what to do with me. I only align myself with the rich and famous, they know how to make me look fabulous all the time".

Sadly, she had done this from the beginning of time, although from time to time, a few did get lucky, she sulked.

Alaric the woodcutter, was sick and tired of being poor, he decided to stop chasing fortune. He took to making moonshine, drinkin', whorin' and procrastinatin'. Clara, his wife, not to be outdone, spent a lot of time with the farmhand in the woodshed.

One day Fortune met Aldous, friend of Alaric. Aldous was dressed to kill. Thinking him rich, she imbibed lots of moonshine, which Aldous had stolen from Alaric. After a fair romp in the Sultan's home while he was away, Fortune became quite drunk and fell asleep.

Aldous ran back to borrow Alaric's mules and packed them with as much of the Sultans Fortune as he could. (The Fortune situation gets a bit blurred, but humor me). He covered Fortune well and started back home.

Alas, the soldiers caught him and strung him up.

The mules, seeing the confusion, hurriedly trotted home to Alaric and Clara.

Alaric was making moonshine, Clara was up in the loft misbehavin', when the mule transported Fortune inside the barn.

"Clara, CLARA"! He shouted after seeing Fortune on the mules.

He was a bit perplexed when she jumped from the loft, half dressed, but who was he to complain.

A ménage à trois...or four, was celebrated.

Fortune came just when they had stopped chasing her.