Forever Till Apart

The moon was ginormous and round; a full ball of light which reflected off the flickering streetlights as we strolled on through the empty road. The houses we walked past were either dark or were boarded up. James had taken my hand, guiding me through the streets as we pushed along.

"Don't be afraid," He'd toy with me, following with a lighthearted chuckle.

"I'm not afraid." I would answer back, "It's actually kind of peaceful out-."

He stopped in his tracks, twirling me around before pulling me into his arms so that I was hugging onto his torso; our faces just inches apart from one another. His breath was heavy as his chest moved inward and outward against my chest. He had his nose pressed against mine as a smile crept across his face. His hand rested under my chin, propping it up before he leaned into me- his lips brushing lightly over mine ever so slightly, our noses brushing as we made contact.

"I never want to lose you, Lydia Jenkins." He whispered to me, breaking away from our kiss to look into my eyes, "You're the one person I don't want to lose."

"You won't." I smiled back at him, "I promise. You won't ever lose me."

"You and I," He got down on one knee, fumbling with his pocket until he took out a small velvet box; opening it to reveal the most beautiful ring, "We are forever." His smile was wide now. His cheeks flushed with red.

My hand was covering my mouth now, "James."

"I know it's not the biggest ring to be used for a proposal," He smiled at me, causing me to give off a chuckle. "But," He continued, "Lydia Jenkins, will you marry me?"

"Yes!" I practically shouted before covering my mouth, "A thousand times, yes!" James stood up, pulling me into his arms before spinning me in the air. "I'm going to be a wife!" I shouted out loud as he spun me in the air.

The light from the full moon reflected down onto us in the middle of the street, almost like a giant spotlight from the heavens shining down upon two soulmates in love. In the background, you could hear crickets chirping quietly and an owl was hooting every now and then; almost as if the world around us was already congratulating us for what's to come.

"I'm so excited to call you my wife." James smiled at me, placing my feet back down on the ground before crashing his lips onto mine, "You're going to make the perfect wife."

**

The alarm clock blared. 7:00. I threw a pillow over my face, rolling over to face the empty side of the bed next to me. My hand reached out, running my fingertips along the sheets and pillowcase, imagining they were touching the body of the man who would soon lay there smiling back at me. The alarm clock continued to sound as I laid in bed. The engagement ring sparkled on my finger as the sun shined through the window. Eventually, my hand made its way over to the top, pressing the snooze button before I closed my eyes once more.

"Mommy! Mommy!" The sound of a little girl called out to me. She jumped up onto my bed and began tugging at the blankets. "Mommy! Mommy! Get up. Daddy says-"

I grabbed ahold of her before rolling her over onto the bed besides me, giving her kisses against her cheeks, "What's daddy say?"

She giggled, in the same way as her dad giggles, "Daddy says we couldn't eat breakfast without you."

"You couldn't?" I lightly gasped, "That's nice of you."

"It'll be pretty messed up to eat the 'Mother's Day' breakfast without the mother present." James leaned up against the door frame, smiling at his beautiful young ladies, "I told her to go ahead and wake you before I made her a plate."

"C'mon mommy," She grabbed ahold of my hand and tried to pull me out of bed herself, "Daddy let me make the pancakes all by myself."

"Daddy what?" I sat myself up.

"With parental supervision, of course." James laughed.

I smiled, slipping on my slippers before following the two of them into the dining room. The table had been made up so nicely. Plates and cups were set out, silverware laid nicely next to each plate. The breakfast courses sat in the middle of the table, buffet-style. There was a stack of what had to be 25 pancakes, with a side of hashbrowns and scrambled eggs. An assortment of syrups had been laid out across the table for your picking.

"Wow." I smiled, "You really went all out."

Our little girl held up a card and a present bag, "Open my present, mommy."

"Let mommy try her breakfast first." James held a chair out for me, before helping his daughter into her booster, preparing her plate of food so that I could prepare my own. God. I never want this day to end.

"Sweetheart," The sound of my mom's voice woke me up from my light slumber. A hand touched my shoulder, massaging as her voice softly called out again, "Lydia. Sweetheart."

"Five more minutes."

"Lydia, honey." Her hand gently shook me till I sat myself up, "It's James."

"Is he- Did he get cold feet?" I asked her, slipping on my slippers and running towards the bedroom door, "He just needs to be reminded to breathe. He may need- I have to see him. I have to-"

My mom wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a warm embrace.

"I have to find him. I have to- Mom, let go. I have to-" I tried to tell her but she refused to let me out of her embrace.

"Lydia." She spoke in a gentle voice, "The wedding isn't going to happen."

"He just has cold feet. I just need to- I have to talk to him. I can calm him down. I can-"

"No. Lydia, do you know where James went last night?" She was stroking my hair the way she did any time she had something bad to tell me as a kid. The last time she stroked my head, my father had just decided to walk out on us for the last time.

"He was-" I cocked my eyes up towards her gaze, "His best friend was taking him out for the 'Bachelor Party'." Smh. I told Kevin to stay in last night. What if he fell in love with some stripper - decided that he'd much rather build a life with her instead of me? "Did Kev- Are they not back yet?" I asked her.

My mom continued stroking my hair in slow patterns, breathing out slowly before speaking once more, "James was in a car accident, Lydia. The Police seem to think it was a case of drunk driving; he had been going quite fast and- and- Paramedics tried to get him to the hospital as soon as they could, but he was dead on arrival. He-"

"No." I spoke out.

"Lydia."

"No." I sat myself up, breaking out of her embrace. I stood myself up; my hand resting on the doorknob, while the other rested on my stomach. "He can't be- He has to be alright."

"Sweetheart." My mom stood behind me, resting her palms on my shoulders, "I know it feels like Hell right now, but he's still with you. He's always goign to be with you, Lyd-"

"He has to be alright." I said once more. The tears formed under my eyes. My heart felt as if someone had bashed it with an ax. "He just has to be alright." My hand rested on my stomach as my eyes looked down at it. He was supposed to meet her. He was supposed to hold her in his arms... create a special bond that no other person could understand. He was so excited to meet her - we were going to sit our parents down right after the wedding to share our good news.

A man came hobbling down the hall, opening the bedroom door to gaze into my eyes. Kevin. He had a bandage wrapped around his head, with one arm in a sling and his foot propped up as he used his free arm to lean against a single crutch. The only other person who knew about her - James insisted on him knowing. 'He's going to be her Godfather... he has to be the first to know.' Without uttering a single word, I felt myself collapse into his arms.

"I'm so, so sorry." He told me, "I tried to-"

"I know." I reassured him.

"He insisted on driving. He wanted to-"

"It's alright." I cupped my palms over his cheeks, my eyes looking into his, "It wasn't your fault. You didn't cause this."

"I was the one who wanted to go out. I took him to that bar. I handed him the dri-"

"Kevin." I spoke to him softly, "He was the one who-" I bit my lip, looking at the ceiling to fight the tears from coming out before looking back at him once more, "He made his own choices. You didn't-"

"I-" He placed his hand on her stomach, "I-"

I held his hand, interlocking my fingers in his. "You're still here. We're so glad that you're still here." My arms wrapped around his torso as I whispered into his ear, "She still has her Godfather."

**

"Mommy! Mommy!" The sound of a little girl called out to me as she jumped onto the bed, tugging at the blankets, "Get up! Get up! Uncle Kevin helped me make you breakfast!"

I grabbed ahold of my special little girl, rolling her onto the bed besides me before giving her kisses against her cheeks, "You made breakfast?"

She let off a giggle, covering her mouth with her hand. God. Her laugh was so similar to her father's. "Uncle Kevin said we couldn't eat any of it until you joined us." She let off the biggest smile.

"You couldn't?" I let off a light gasp, "That's so nice of you to wake me up then."

"Well, it would've been pretty messed up to eat a Mother's Day breakfast without the mother present." Kevin was leaned up against the door frame, smiling at the two girls who sat on the bed. "I told Jamie that she could go ahead and wake you before I made her a plate."

"Mommy, c'mon." Jamie grabbed ahold of my hand, attempting to pull me out of bed herself, "Uncle Kevin let me make the pancakes all by myself."

"He did what!?" I sat myself up.

"With supervision, of course." Uncle Kevin held his hands up before letting off a chuckle, "You trying to get me in trouble, young lady?"

Jamie giggled once more.

I let off a small chuckle before slipping on my slippers and following the two of them out into the dining room. The table had been made up so nicely. Plates and cups were set out, silverware laid nicely next to each plate. The breakfast courses sat in the middle of the table, buffet-style. There was a stack of what had to be 25 pancakes, with a side of hashbrowns and scrambled eggs. An assortment of syrups had been laid out across the table for your picking.

"Wow." I smiled, "You really went all out."

Jamie held up a card and a present bag, "Open my present, mommy."

"Let mommy try her breakfast first." James held a chair out for me, before helping his daughter into her booster, preparing Jamie's plate of food so that I could prepare my own.

God. James would've been so proud of her; of us. He'd be so happy that his little girl has a father figure to take his place... even if he never had the chance to do so.

My eyes shifted towards Kevin as he sat down in the chair next to me, my hand resting on top of his. Without saying a word, he nodded at me as if to understand what it was I had been thinking.

"She's him." He whispered over to me, "She's one hundred percent him, Lydia." He moved his hand so that it rested on top of mine, giving it a small tap, "He'd be so proud of you."