For the Girls!

It was a hot summer day and I was at the pool with my friends. I had been on a diet to get my bikini body ready for this fantastic girls weekend that we had planned for months. I still had some pudge and I wasn’t really happy with how my breasts filled the cups of the black swimsuit I bought. I bought black because my mother always told me it was a slimming color. My friends thought I should get a red polka dot bikini, but red was just too loud for me.

There were four of us Kenley, Raygen, Simone and me, Lexi. We were celebrating Raygen’s birthday, she was turning twenty five, had three little ones at home and desperately needed a break from her home life. Being a stay at home mom had made her stir crazy or maybe just a bit crazy and she barely had time to eat a hot meal. All that was going to change on this all inclusive vacation.

I was feeling self conscious as usual. My girls always looked so perfect and put together. Kenley was blond, Simone was a red head while Reygen and I were the brunettes. I had worked so hard cutting carbs, sugars, omitting sodas, I ate a salad every day and did my workout plan religiously. I was starving, my muscles were so sore from the squats, planks and god-forsaken burpees the trainer insisted I complete. Even after all that I was still the fattest girl in this group. They loved me, we had known each other since our moms were pregnant together, but I couldn’t help comparing myself to them. I hadn’t eaten anything today, I was saving my calories for the celebration dinner tonight. I made sure, that since I was in a swimsuit, that I get in the pool and do some laps. Just because I was on vacation didn’t mean I didn’t need to find time to kill the calories.

“Hey Lexi, why don’t you just come over here and have a cocktail with us?” Kenley asked. Kenley was always the life of the party. She was a dancer, a talker, a shmoozer, and could get any guy she wanted. She loved the single life and lived it up. She swore by her weekly facials and her yoga instructor, Zeek. She showed me pictures of Zeek, he was a twenty one year old thin muscular man who had his hair up in a man bun and was otherwise clean shaven. Based on the way Kenley was talking she went to yoga more to see Zeek than doing yoga.

“Just one more lap, Ken. I’ll be right there,” I called.

“Lexi, we’re going to have a drink for Raygen! We want you to join us. Get over here, girl!” Simone called.

Simone was the epitome of beauty she was happily married and I mean HAPPILY married. She loved her husband, their romantic relationship was thriving from what she said and judging by her husband’s firm model body and her designer blinged out low v cut one piece from Paris and her perfectly coifed red bob, and black sunglasses she looked like a model too. She worked in finance. She loved numbers and money.

“I’m coming!” I called.

I swam over and took the drink that was handed to me a large strawberry daiquiri. The group started singing to Raygen. She wore simple blue one piece. She was beautiful, practical, and seemed to enjoy the simple things in life. She was an over thinker and a worrier, I guess it came with being a mom, but she had a heart of gold and in many ways she acted like our mom too. Wait! How many calories were in a large strawberry daiquiri? This drink might ruin my night!

Soon enough we went back to the hotel room and changed for dinner. The birthday girl wore a beautiful blue dress, Simone a low cut red dress to accentuate her cleavage, Kenley wore a small black halter top dress and black boots that went up to her knees. I put on a black dress with some frills at the sleeves and a hem that went down to my calves and a pair of black flats. I figured the loose dress would hide all my unwanted imperfections and I was starving! I had saved all my calories for this moment.

We were at dinner in this nice restaurant. Lights were dim, drinks were flowing, we were laughing, eating our fill of shared appetizers. Then the cake came. Simone had them custom make a three tiered chocolate cake with pink flowers saying “Happy Birthday Raygen, we love you! The Girls.”

I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t take it anymore! Weeks of work! Weeks of starvation, deprivation, exercise, and exhaustion all led me to this one moment. I tried to contain myself. I tried to hold back, but I devoured my piece of chocolate cake and I asked for another and another. I was full, but I couldn’t stop eating. I didn’t know when the next time I wouldn’t be able to eat another carb as delicious as this! My diet was dead! Long gone! Calorie count kaput! It was Death by Chocolate! The best way to go.