Estranged

In the days leading up to her capture, Avalyn took a look around the place she had called home the most recently. It was a far cry from her childhood home where she grew up with two loving parents and Judd, their golden retriever. She tried to remember where things had gone so very wrong.

She looked at the clock on the old tarnished microwave on the grimey grouted tile countertop; 12:34am.

“Ha, 1-2-3-4,” she thought. It was nice that she could still find small amusements among the tragedy that had become her life. Sometimes you just have to laugh to keep from crying. That’d become Avalyn’s mantra for the last 8 years since her parents had disappeared.

She used humor to mask her deep-seeded vulnerability. If she let her guard down even for a minute, even alone as she had been, she would break down crying and never stop.

Her parents had left without a trace. She had been 9 years old and in bed, not sleeping when she’d heard her parents in the hall. She’d peaked her head out her cracked bedroom door and saw them both in their pajamas, barefoot, and watched as they wordlessly walked out the front door and closed it behind them. She remembered staying silent for fear of getting reprimanded for being up at that hour (11:11 - her mother used to say that when you saw the clock at 11:11, an angel was blessing you; a silly thing a mother tells a child, because surely angels didn’t subscribe to earthly notions of time and clocks).

***

As she had watched them leave her, alone in the house with Judd, her young mind had just assumed they must have heard something and were going to check. She went back to lay in bed and listened for their return. At some point she’d fallen asleep, and in the morning, she realized no one had come to her room to open the curtains with a “wake up, sleepy head” or anything.

She went into the hall to see if she could smell breakfast or hear her parents in the kitchen, but she heard nothing. Smelled nothing. Except for Judd whimpering at the door to be let out to relieve himself, it was complete silence.

She took Judd out for his business, filled his water and food dishes, then went to see why her parents hadn’t gotten up yet. It was when she got to their empty room, bed made, nothing out of place, no sign anyone had slept there, that she realized they had left, and they hadn’t come back in the night.

Avalyn was no dim child. She knew she should call authorities and report them missing-- but what would she say? “Hi I’m 9, and my parents are upstanding, responsible citizens with spotless records and they just walked out in the middle of the night without me, in their pajamas without shoes, and didn’t come back.” It sounded insane even to her. She also worried that if she reported her parents missing, she’d be taken into custody and put in some foster home with strangers, and she didn’t like the thought of that either. She decided to wait it out as long as she could; she was a responsible 9-year-old, she could make herself sandwiches and take care of the dog; showers at least every other day; she even knew how to use the washer and dryer to clean clothes. It was summer break, so there wouldn’t be any teachers calling to see why she was missing school. She just had to avoid answering the phone. People would just assume they were all away on holiday.

***

Looking back, Avalyn realized she really should have called authorities. Maybe she wouldn’t have been put in some foster home or children’s housing. Maybe a perfectly lovely couple who wanted children but didn’t like the idea of a small child taking over their home would have seen her and taken her in. If she had, she would still be blissfully ignorant, she wouldn’t have gone rummaging through her parents things, she wouldn’t have contacted that “marriage counselor” (her mom and dad had a happy marriage but they grew up believing that much like annual checkups with doctors for your physical health, it was equally important to see therapists for your mental health and counselors to make sure your marriage was strong).

***

Avalyn had waited five days just lazing away reading books, watching tv, napping, playing with Judd, and snacking on all the things she was always told to eat in moderation. She let all the grown up worries fall to the back of her mind and let herself assume they would be back, that it was just a mistake and she was determined not to think why they had forgotten her.

On the sixth day, however, all the feelings she had been ignoring bubbled up and she grew impatient and more worrisome. She went into her parents room and started snooping. Something felt so wrong about it; she’d always been raised to respect people’s privacy, and that if you wanted privacy and respect, you had to give privacy and respect. By going through their stuff, she not only felt guilty, but felt like she was opening herself up to have her privacy violated. But six days was long enough. She started out going through drawers emptying out clothes and seeing if there was anything hidden in or behind each drawer. She moved the dresser to see behind it.

She checked under the mattress. Hey, she thought, maybe mom keeps a journal too.

She checked in the closet and had to get a step stool to reach the shelves above the racks of clothes. Nothing. She sat on the edge of the bed baffled. She stared at her reflection in the mirror attached to the dresser.

At least you don’t look like an orphan, she thought. She’d kept herself together pretty well for being alone with a dog for six days.

Her eyes drifted to a business card on the top of the dresser. Funny how she never thought to look at what was right in front of her first. She’d just assumed whatever it was had been very hush-hush.

“Dr. Michael Stevens, PhD” followed by the title “Certified Psychologist and Marriage Counselor”. There was a phone number and address. She grabbed her cell phone that her parents gave her for emergencies, which she’d only used once, on the first day her parents had left only to find their cell phones on the kitchen table. She dialed the number and waited while the line rang.

On the fourth ring, a cheery woman answered the phone and said, “Dr. Stevens office, please hold.” Then the line went quiet and a second later, really lame sounding 80s jazz music played. After being on hold for about five minutes, “Hello, thank you for holding, this is Margery at Dr. Stevens office, how can I help you today?”

“Hi,” said Avalyn, “can I talk to Dr. Stevens?”

“I’m sorry, but Dr. Stevens is in session with a patient right now, can I take a message?”

“No, it’s okay, I’ll call back later.” As Margery started to say “wait,” Avalyn had already taken the phone away from her ear and pressed the end call button on the screen.

Avalyn flopped back on her parents bed staring at the ceiling for a while before she had drifted off. When she woke up, the sun had already started to set, and the light shining in through the windows gave everything an orangey-pink tint. She tried her luck again with Dr. Stevens’ phone number, but a voicemail picked up, and she hung up without leaving a message.

Avalyn was awoken the next morning by the buzz of her cell phone ringing and vibrating. She looked at the phone at a number that looked familiar so she answered with a sleepy “Hello?”

“Hello,” said a very low voice, “is this the young lady that tried calling my office yesterday? This is Dr. Stevens. I hope you don’t mind my calling, but I rarely get a young person calling my office, and our receptionist said you sounded worried and hung up quickly. I was just concerned.”

“Hi, yes, I mean no, I’m fine. My name is Avalyn Murray. My parents had your card on their dresser?” She wasn’t sure why she phrased her statement like it was a question.

“Murray. As in Charles and Madelyn Murray?” said Dr. Stevens.

“Yes, I was wondering if my parents have had a session with you this week. Specifically in the last six or seven days?”

“Avalyn.” A statement. She was becoming uncomfortable with Dr. Stevens. Since when do doctors call back strangers from the received calls, who don’t leave their name? The silence on the line became suffocating. “Avalyn, are you at home right now?”

“Why is that important?” Avalyn was beginning to think calling this number was a very, very bad idea.

“I have spoken to your parents recently and they were looking for you. I know where they are and I can take you to them. Just let me know where you are.”

“No, you must be mistaken. I shouldn’t have called.” Avalyn hung up the phone and shortly after, her phone started buzzing again. Same phone number. She sent it to voicemail. A few seconds later, it was buzzing again. Again, she sent it to voicemail. A minute later, her voice mail notification popped up. She figured why not and dialed the voicemail and put in her password.

“Avalyn. This is Dr. Stevens. It is very important that I see you. You need me to get to your parents, so I suggest you take a moment to think this over, and call my office back. Margery will put you right through.” Then the line went silent. She saved the message and flung her phone across the room. She laid back down on the bed until she heard Judd whimpering to go out, and she got up to let him do his business while she filled his food and water dishes. After 7 days, food was getting low for both her and Judd. Their Chewy order would probably arrive in the next day or so for Judd, but if she didn’t find her parents or figure something out soon, she may well be eating dog food too. She wished she had a bigger family. In all her life, it was just her and her parents (and Judd the last 2 years). She never heard them talk about their parents; she didn’t even know if her parents had any siblings. As she thought harder about it, while people in the neighborhood knew them on sight, they didn’t really have any friends. She’d never been dropped off with a babysitter, they never had guests over. Avalyn decided it was time to pretend everything was alright again. She called Judd back in and found some saltines for herself in the top shelf of the pantry, and used the last bit of butter spread on them.

***

Avalyn heard footsteps in the hallway of the slum she’d been squatting in for the better part of a month. She was really bummed. She’d finally found a place with working water and electricity. Sure it was dirty, and there were a lot (a LOT) of sketchy people in the building, not like the new houses under construction or recently vacated homes of people who had their mortgage default, but those always had water and electricity shut off. They smelled so much better. But necessity won out when she found this gem. And now it was all over, and she needed to move on. She grabbed the few belongings she had -- her jacket, a bag with a few spare t-shirts and jeans that had seen better days, and Judd’s collar, and went over to the windows. She looked out at the fire escape. If they were smart, they probably had someone at the bottom of the fire escape. So up she went to the roof after climbing through the window as silently as possible and closing the window behind her. Once there, she took a look around at all the surrounding buildings. Luckily they were all crammed so close together that, aside from the sides with fire escapes adjacent from each other, there wasn’t much of a jump to get from building to building. When she felt she’d gone a sufficient amount away from her building, she went down the fire escape, and took off in the direction away from where she’d been staying.

***

[Read on in Estranged: Avalyn Murray Chapter 2]