Enforced Family Fun

For Real Poetic's Christmas Challenge...You can find it here if you would like to join in the jamboreeing

“Dear God,” Julia thought as she caught the first glimpse of Uncle Terry in a ludicrous light-up Christmas tree sweater, “enforced family festivities –fucking marvellous,” she muttered, bracing herself to descend the stairs and into the waiting arms of her overzealous extended family. This was going to be hell.

The sweater wasn't the only horror awaiting her. Aunt Marge, notorious for her "unique" perfume, more eau du mothball than Chanel no 5, was the first to suffocate her. Julia gasped for breath as she removed herself from the weighty boobs engulfing her.

In the living room she navigated through the field of baubled relatives, each more fake excited than the last. Cousin Larry, apparently now a ventriloquist, insisted on introducing his freaky penguin puppet. Julia smiled politely as he showed her how (not) to throw her voice. “It’s an art”, he said. One he hadn’t quite grasped, she reflected wryly.

There was of course worse to come. Gift giving. How many ridiculous pairs of socks would she have to open this year? She endured the sock exchange with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. Uncle Tony’s zeal over Grandma Betty’s handmade bedazzled jingling reindeer pair was actually quite impressive, she thought.

As if things couldn’t get any worse. Dinner. Uncle Terry's infamous "turducken" – a questionable endeavour that had no hope of disappearing anytime soon. Some traditions should be scrapped, she reasoned; biting into some bizarrely glazed vegetable –she couldn’t quite fathom whether it was a carrot or a parsnip.

As the evening traipsed on, stuffed with off-key carolling and an improvised talent-less show instigated by the ‘wannabe a popstar’ younger cousins, Julia found herself relaxing into the spirit of it all. Not that she would admit it. She was 16 afterall. And fun at family gatherings would be an absurdity.