Egsra!

A moth on the verge of combustion fizzles through a fiery hoop.

"Careful about them glimmers, theys abythul," erupted the oaf hovering over him.

"Excuse me?" The patron replied while evading orbs of the ogre's raining saliva.

"Ist iss.. abyth.. Abysh."

“He means the barrel of bubbling decomposition to your immediate left.”

"Vaporate a pog in a split. Blink anda poof."

The patron looked into rippling pitch black pool in uncomfortable silence.

"Saprophytic bacteria. Abyssal grade.. Indiscriminate. Always hungry. Welcome to Frendos Emporium. How may I be of service?"

"I was told you fixed Tickers."

"Tickers, time bombs, toaster ove- ."

"Egsra, be gone!"

"Yes, gone gone!"

"You will have to excuse my assistant. He's mostly here to test things.”

"Drop the lever! Enough with ya chary mog, flip it already!"

"Egsra, be gone!"

"Yes, gone gone!"

"Further away this time!"

The patron removed a satchel from under his arm and unwrapped a shawl to reveal a Heart-Shaped Locket.

"Ahh. A classic. It has been some time since I've seen one like this. Decades."

Frendo scanned the embellished surface with a smirk.

“That isn't possible. This isn't a reproduction, it was a gift from..”

“A fairer maiden than most, if I had to guess. On the eve of a great Battle?”

The patron sank into his armor.

“What's going on? How could you have known?"

“Few will ever truly understand the power of sentiment. Or how directionless we are without it.”

Frendo opened his jacket to reveal a row of Heart-Shaped Lockets.

“You aren't the only sailor to be ensnared by one of our local sirens. Don’t beat yourself up.”

“Slag on the loose, two pints shy."

“Egsra!”

“Gone! Gone!”

“Why would she..”

“Sport. Loyalty.. Who knows with women. The good news is that I can fix it if you wish, but it will cost you your armor.”

“My armor?”

“For a heart and compass. But as much as I value your armor, I must warn you. None who follow her in ever return. Of all the remains to wash up at the mouth of that barrier, only two still had appendages.”

“I suspect she's some kind of spider.”

"Egsra!"

"Gone!"

“They are descendants of those who were trapped on the other side of the barrier when it collapsed. Some were able to climb to the surface and make it back, but they were never the same. The woman who gave you this, she was a disciple from the sunken colony.”

"Vish-shush, the whole lot."

Frendo shot Egsra a silent hush out of sight, then returned his attention to the ailing patron.

"But she was so frightened."

“Damsel in distress, warms the heart.”

“But... how?”

“You were charmed and collared. Happens to the best, nothing to be ashamed of.””

"My crew tried to warn me. Even threw the locket overboard to save me from myself. But when I saw MY heart begin to sink out of sight, it was as though spirits had removed me from my armor, and threw me in after it.”

The patron clutched his Heart and sighed.

“I should have drowned.”

"Dumb luck, you should be thankful your limbs are still attached.”

Frendo observed the locket under a magnifying glass while the patron continued to sob.

“The auxiliary chamber is waterlogged, I'll need to open it up.”

“No. Don’t bother. This is as far as I go. Her curse has worn thin, if I leave now maybe I can still escape it.”

And with that, the patron dropped his Heart-Shaped Locket into the abyssal grade Saprophytic bacteria and left without sentiment.

“Sad, isht tis. He seemed like an awful nice bloke. Would have made a lovely match for the missus."