Dreamer - Chapter 38

Oh Rev.. why are you the way that you are? I stood up and made my way over to the kitchen, grabbing the bleach dad kept under the sink and the small dish towel that hung over the oven handle quite nicely, before making my way towards the darkened spot on the floor. It had to be cleaned. I had to do it. I cannot just let my father come back home to see the evidence of his trauma just left out in the open like this; it has to be done. I fell to my knees and poured the bleach before beginning to scrub the flooring. God. Why couldn't he have shot him while we were outside? At least Ace had the audacity to pass out from his blood loss outside; nowhere near the inside of my house. Why couldn't Rev just have pulled us outside before doing what he did? Maybe that way I wouldn't have to be scrubbing this floor so damn hard in order to fight for the stain to fade away; in order to get this stain to disappear, along with the memory of how it happened. I felt a couple tears coming back to me.

"Dammit, Rev!" I threw the dish towel across the room before falling to the floor into a fetal position, tears coming out even more now than they had before. Why couldn't he had just shot me instead? That's what he wanted in the first place. Me shot. He was angry at me. He wanted me dead. Not my father. He had no idea who my father was. Why couldn't he have just shot me instead? I could've been the one rotting away in that hospital bed right now.. I could've been the one suffering and in pain, instead of the man who deserved nothing but happiness. Me. I was the one who deserved this. Not him. Not my dad. He deserved to be in the comfort of his own bed right now, reading his favorite book or watching his favorite movie; I honestly have no idea what he does in his bedroom.

"Geez." A voice sounded from above where I had laid down, but I ignored it. "You may need this." The voice spoke out again. I looked up to see the dish towel I had thrown just moments before being handed back to me.

"I thought I told you to leave."

"I did," He shrugged, "but I couldn't just leave you here by yourself."

"Why?" I sat myself up, "You're the one that I should be afraid of."

"Funny." He got down to his knees and poured some more bleach onto the floor, "This is a pain in the ass to do, but the end factor will be quite satisfying once you succeed."

"The fact that you know that is one of the many reasons I should be afraid of you." I told him.

He picked the dish towel back up before scrubbing the stained floor, "I just figured-"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Why can't I?"

I placed my hand over his but he pushed it away and just continued to scrub once again. "I was the one who made this mess in the first place." He said to me, "You shouldn't have to be the one who cleans it up."

"Cleaning up this mess won't make me forgive you any faster." I folded my arms across my chest.

"Geez, Lex." He threw the dish towel down, "Maybe I just didn't feel as if you should be the one having to clean up your father's blood. Ever think about that?"

No. I never thought about that. "Excuse me for thinking you wouldn't have a heart big enough to care this much." I held my hands up, "Not to mention, you told me you would let me have my house all to myself."

"I couldn't just let you be in this house by yourself."

"Why?" I asked him, "You're the reason for the crime that occurred here.. or should I make that word plural?"

"Very funny."

"Why are you even here?" I changed the subject, "You told me that I could finally be alone.. that I could finally be able to live my life on my own terms."

"I was going to leave you alone," He never took his eyes off the floor as he spoke, "but I got to the end of that driveway and realized I couldn't just let you be alone. Not now."

"Wow." I scoffed.

"What?"

"You couldn't even last a damn day!"

"Excuse me?" He was looking at me now.

"I wanted to be left alone. Alone! Do you know that being left alone means?"

"I just didn't-"

"Didn't what?"

"Lex."

"No." I told him, "Tell me. This outta be good, Rev. What didn't you want to do?"

"I didn't want to leave you alone after all that has happened." He told me, "After everything that's gone on, I-"

"Everything that's happened to me so far was all thanks to you in the first place." I told him.

"Lex, c'mon."

"No." I folded my arms across the chest, "Let's see. I was held by gunpoint, thanks to you. I was chased and attacked trying to get away, thanks to you. I watched a man get shot and eventually pass out, thanks to you. I had trouble in school, partially thanks to you. I used a gun, thanks to you. I shot a living, breathing animal, thanks to you. Oh, this one has got to be my favorite; my father was shot, thanks to you. Do you want me to keep going or-?"

"I got it." He threw his hands up in the air, "I'm a terrible person. I'm a horrible monster. I get it."

"You don't get to do that."

"Do what?'

"Act as if what you did wasn't that big a deal."

"You've got to be kidding me." He scoffed.

"No, you've got to be kidding me!" I shouted at him.

"How many times do I have to apologize about that!?" He shouted back at me.

"How many times do I have to tell you that you can't just apologize and expect me to forget what happened.. right here in this house?"

"You're unbelievable."

"Why?" I questioned him, "Is it because I'm not going to let some half-assed apology buy a forgiveness out of me?"

"I did not mean for any of that to fucking happen!" He shouted at me, "I didn't intend to-"

"-shoot my father," I finished his sentence for him, "I know. You were aiming for me and he got in the way. You've already told me this, Rev. It doesn't change a single thing. You pointed that gun at me.. all because you got upset. What's going to happen when you get upset again? What will you do the next time when you don't miss your shot at me? How do you think Ace would feel if he-"

"I don't want to discuss Ace."

"Oh, I'm sorry." I told him, "Did I hit a nerve?"

He remained silent, barely able to even look me in the eye.

"How do you think Ace would feel if he found out you shot me.. if you actually succeeded?" I asked him again, "You really think he wouldn't try and kill you if you-"

"Shut it."

"You said it yourself." I told him, "I'm Ace's property." I cringed as those words left my lips. "I'm sure this little circle of yours has rules to help protect the people you claim as your property and-"

His lips crashed onto mine, taking me by surprise. Shoving him away, I took a step back. "Rev." I said to him.

"I'm sorry." He couldn't look me in the eye.

"Rev."

"I'm just-" He opened the front door, "-I'm sorry."