Dreamer - Chapter 30

I was sitting outside the hospital room, peering through the small window of the door every couple seconds hoping I'd get to see how my father was doing. So far, the doctors had hooked him up to a few machines and gave him quite a few tests. I had no idea why. It was just a minor gunshot wound. Is getting shot really that difficult to take care of? My eyes kept getting watery at the thought of Rev shooting my father.. and no matter how hard I tried to forget what happened, it still happened. All I've wanted to do since it happened was the scream at Rev. Or at anyone, or anything, in general. I just need to let out a perfectly good scream at whatever came into my way. God, I wish Michael was here. He'd offer to be my screaming pillow so I can let out my frustrations.

Rev's words still lingered in my mind.

You are seriously a horrible fucking person if you're just going to let your father suffer through his pain.

I needed to do something; scream, punch something, anything that would let out all this boiled up anger towards that man. I closed my fist tightly, slamming it down on the empty side of the bench next to me. A sharp pain ran up my hand but I ignored it. I hated Rev. I hated him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.

A doctor stepped out of the hospital room and I immediately stood up to face him. "How's my dad?" My voice filled with terror, "Is he alright?"

"He'll be just fine, just lost a lot of blood," The doctor answered, "I would like to ask you some questions, though. Do you mind?"

Questions? What kind of questions? "Sure." I nodded.

"Follow me." He led me into his office, gesturing me towards a chair before he sat at the big wooden desk in the corner.

"What is it that you'd like to know?" I asked, trying to sound as confident as possible.

"A few minor things," He sat up in his chair, "How was your father shot?"

"By a gun."

"Were you on the other end of that gun?"

"Excuse me? Of course not. Why the hell would I shoot my father?" I asked harshly. How could he just assume that I caused this? I couldn't have. He's my dad.

"Well.. lots of teens do tend to get angry at their folks. Maybe your father told you to not do something, or maybe the two of you had been fighting.. maybe you just felt like rebelling and felt that this would show that you had the upper hand against him?"

That was a lot of possible reasons. A lot. Suddenly, I remembered what Rev had told me earlier. About how he shot his own parents. Why? Was he rebelling against them? Were they trying to make him not do something that he wanted to do? "Why do you think that I was the one who shot my father?" I asked the doctor, pretty concerned about his answer myself.

"You were the only one who was at the house by the time we got there," he answered, "and there was no other evidence showing that you didn't do this yourself."

"I was a witness. Does that not mean I would be considered evidence as well?"

"Why would you be evidence?"

"I'm the only one who knew what happened. I saw it. Everything. It wasn't me. Honest to God, it wasn't me."

"Who was it, then?"

"Rev." Shit. What the hell was his last name? All I knew was that his name was Rev.. if that even is his real name. "He has tan skin.. black hair.. dark brown eyes."

"Does this Rev guy happen to have a last name?"

Crap. I should've known he wasn't going to just accept my original answer. "No."

"No?"

"Well.. he might have one."

"What is it?"

"I don't know. I only know that he goes by Rev."

"Only Rev?"

I nodded. Did he not believe me? Why on Earth will I lie about this? I couldn't have shot my father. I wish he knew this. I love my dad too much to do this myself. I couldn't even picture myself holding a gun up towards him in the first place. He's my father. My dad. Why would I? He's one of the reasons I have become life on this planet. I'm not Rev. I can't just shoot at people without feeling anything like he can.

The doctor went to say something else but stopped, leaning forward as he looked towards his computer screen, "You might get a chance to see your father shortly.. but right now he will be needing some rest. He's doing alright, though."

I let out a sigh, standing up, "Was he badly hurt? Near-Death experience, I mean?"

"No," He said quickly without looking away from the computer screen, "You can let yourself out."

I nodded before stepping out of the office, sitting down on the bench by my dads room. I saw no purpose in going back home, so I figured I may as well stay here and wait. The doctor did say I may be able to see him shortly. I turned so that I can prop my feet up on the bench and still see my father through the window. My mind began to wander off and soon everything started to fade away as an image of my father came into view.

I laid down on the bed with tears stained to my cheeks. I had a sharp pain down by the area Tyler was playing with. I wanted to scream for my dad but a hand slapped against my mouth. "Don't you dare say a single word," He told me before removing his hand.

By the time I was back in reality, Tyler was pulling his pants back up. "Why'd you do that?" I asked him, "You were supposed to be my friend."

"I am a friend."

"Friends don't hurt other friends." I felt more tears escape as I looked at him now, "Where's my daddy?"

"Probably at your house."

"Take me home."

"We have to talk first."

"Take me home." I repeated myself.

I went to sit myself up but he shoved me back down onto the bed, "Do you really want me to go for another round?"

"Please let me go home." I cried out, "I promise not to tell anyone what you did if you let me go home right now." I found myself clasping my hands together as I looked directly into his eyes, "Please."

"You promise to only tell your dad that we were just playing a game here?"

I nodded.

"Not the game I said this was, correct?"

I nodded, again.

"Speak."

"I promise." I told him, "I won't say a word."

Tyler pushed my clothes over to me from the foot of his bed, "Get dressed. Make sure you look exactly like you did before you got here so he won't get suspicious."

I nodded, getting up and pulling up my undies and pants. I just wanted to get out of here as fast as I could. I wanted to get away from him as fast as I can. If I did decide to tell daddy about this game we played, would Tyler still find out? Would Tyler come back to hurt me again if I did say something? I finished getting dressed before walking back towards Tyler, "I'm ready to go home."

"Hold up," He checked out my appearance before straightening out my messy hair and flattening it out so that it didn't look like bedhead as it did, "We don't want your father to think you were laying in a bed.. now do we?"

"Can I go home, now?"

"I'll take you," He reached out his hand to take mine.

A hand tapped my shoulder causing me to jump out of my trance.

"Damn Lex," the person said from behind, "I was trying to see if he's alright."

"You." I growled out as I turned to face the man behind the voice, "You're the reason he's here in the first place."

"I said I was sorry."

I rolled my eyes. Saying sorry will never make me forgive him. He went way too far this time. Way too far. "Did you really expect me to gain your forgiveness by saying 'I'm sorry' like a five year old who just broke their mom's favorite vase? After everything that you've done?"

"If it helps, Ace is pissed about this as well."

"I doubt that." I couldn't help but feel a teensy bit of happiness knowing that there was a possibility of Ace getting pissed at Rev for shooting my father. It was probably some scheme Rev conjured up to gain my forgiveness, but it was a pretty good thought. But seriously.. if Rev thinks he can use Ace as a way to get exactly what he wants.. he has another thing coming. "You told me that Ace was the one I should watch out for before," I let out a sigh, "back when we were at the barn.. before you decided to shoot my father inside the very house you broke into anyway."

"I understand how you wouldn't believe me that I'm truly sorry, but why can't you believe that Ace is actually angry about this?"

He can't be serious. "Ace doesn't care about me enough to care about this. He probably cheered you on for completely destroying me like this."

He sat on the bench next to me, pushing my legs off to make room for him, and brushed his hand against my cheek, "Do you really believe that, Lex?"

"What else is there to believe?" I asked him, "I'm just some random girl who fell into your trap. Hell, Ace didn't even ask for me to find myself into your lives." I looked up at him not believing the words that was about to come out of my mouth next, "Our kiss was a mistake."

"Why is that?" Did he really care about this conversation? Why was Rev suddenly so interested in getting to know more about me.. about the way I felt? Knowing how I've seen him, he probably just wanted to use my true feelings as a way to manipulate me later on. But I did need someone to talk to at this moment.. and he was listening.

"I don't know," I shrugged. Was the kiss really a mistake? I did feel like there had been something deep inside telling me to keep going to Ace. That kiss definitely felt good in the moment. No. No, it wasn't a mistake. Wait. It had to be a mistake. I just met Ace. I barely knew him. He was probably just as dangerous as Rev, maybe even worse. "I just did it without thinking."

"He does care about you." Rev placed his hand on my thigh before giving it a little squeeze, "He's the one who would actually care if you've gotten hurt." I caught a tear fall down Rev's cheek before he turned away. "I guess I can't say the same about myself." He added.

"Are you really sorry for what happened?" I found placing my hand on top of his before giving him a squeeze. I had no idea why I was letting Rev in, but I just didn't feel like fighting at the moment.

✿✿✿

"Are you really sorry for what happened?" I heard her ask me. I noticed her place her hand over my own and couldn't help but feel a slight bit of regret. How was she doing that? With just one small touch, she made me want to undo all that I've done, or all that I've hurt. She really did have a beautiful way of making someone regret all that he's done. I looked up to see a dark brown curl fall to the side of her face over her shoulder, hiding her lips just barely where I could see that small frown. I couldn't help but realize that frown was caused because of something I've done.

"I am." I answered her. I didn't feel up to giving some kind of non sentimental answer. I wanted Lex to actually see me as who I really am, not as a monster. Although I can't blame her. I'm a dick. I shot her fucking father for fuck's sake. "I really am truly sorry for what I've done," I continued, "and I'll probably forever get shit from Ace about it.. as well as from you."

"Does he really give a shit about me?" She asked, "Ace, I mean."

I looked deep into her eyes, "Of course he does." In that moment, I couldn't help but feel jealous. Of the way she kept bringing up Ace. The way she kept asking if he truly did care about her. It brought a pit of anger into my stomach. Why Ace? Why was she so obsessed with Ace? I let my hand escape from her grip, letting it fall between my legs, as I stared at the floorboards in silence. Why did I care so much about this? Why was I even in this conversation with her? All I wanted to do was make sure she knew I never meant to shoot her father, and here we are.. having some kind of girl talk.. like we were somehow friends. She tried to reach out to me but I moved my hands away as soon as hers got close.

"Rev?" She asked, but I kept staring at the floor. What was I doing? Why am I here? I'm Rev. I'm the guy that everyone should be afraid of. Why was I having an emotional talk with someone who I shouldn't even be feeling sorry for? "Are you okay?" She asked me again.

Instead of answering her, I just stood up and replied with a snarky "I have to go" before walking off, leaving her alone on that bench. I couldn't do this. I couldn't be that person. It wasn't me.. was it?