Dream Guide

Sleeping had become a problem for her. She kept waking up terrified at around 3 am never sure where she was. Night after night she'd spring from a deep sleep, feeling like her body was being sucked through an old-timey keyhole. Each time this happened she’d do a quick survey of the room her eyes scouring the walls, grasping to recognize anything in the blackness. Her eyes always adjusted slowly adding to the terror. She'd suddenly snap back into reality and she’d recognize her room. The walls were bare except for a dream catcher her father had received in the mail from an indigenous tribe out west as thanks for his donation. She thought it was supposed to stop the scary dreams. Each time this played out she felt that she’d been on some journey through space. She couldn’t figure out where she’d been or why she was so terrified but she knew she wasn’t getting a good night’s sleep and 5 o’clock was around the corner. She’d have a long day at a job that was becoming more difficult by the minute. Actually, the job itself wasn’t difficult it was the feeling that she wasn’t doing what she was supposed to be doing that was difficult. It paid the bills and she did the job well. She was respected by her colleagues and she had made friends at work but the nagging feeling that she was supposed to be doing something more or different played out regularly in her non-travel dreams.

Since she’d always thought dreams carried meaning and sent her important messages about her fears, her jealousies, and her desires she’d become convinced that there was more to learn from these dreams that didn’t feel like dreams at all. She started wondering if maybe she could overcome her fear of being pulled into another dimension, then maybe she could figure out her true path. She desperately wanted to feel fulfilled as if she was doing something that would make a difference in the world. It wasn’t as though she wasn’t making an impact, she was a teacher. Though she questioned every day if it was the right impact.

Each night before she went to sleep, she started to reflect on her life and she meditated on the idea of staying asleep no matter how scary the dream seemed. If she could just face her fears maybe she’d find her path. Weeks and weeks passed and she stopped waking up scared though her dreams became more and more vivid. Each morning she’d wake up and she’d remember in great detail all the places she had been and all the people she had seen. She’d analyze every scene and conversation searching for meaning. Sometimes the dreams highlighted some of her ugliest emotions like jealousy which embarrassed her. How could she be jealous of the people she loved? Shouldn’t she be happy about their success? As she confronted her jealousy, she slowly got to know herself better and started to accept her faults and insecurities. She did start to wonder why she hadn’t traveled in a while, but it was nice getting great sleep.

The great sleep and vivid dreams did encourage her to change her life in positive ways. Moderation became her mantra, but she still struggled with meaning and path. Then she traveled again. It had been months since she traveled and as she slept, she felt she was being pulled headfirst through a keyhole. This time it wasn’t a big skeleton keyhole. It was more like she was being squeezed through a pasta maker headfirst and her body was like a string of fettuccini. As she emerged in an unknown place her body reinflated and she was standing in darkness. She looked around and was terrified but lucid enough to remind herself that she wasn’t going to scare herself back into her bedroom. She was going to fight to stay asleep and look around for clues as to why she ended up wherever she ended up. As she scanned what at first seemed like an empty space, she saw bright white light streaming down and she looked up to see the source of the light. The orb in the darkness reminded her of the January Wolf Moon big, and bright on a cold winter night but she didn’t feel cold. As she walked toward the light, she saw it illuminating a leafless tree, and there perched on a branch was a barn owl with a bright white face and dark black eyes. Her analytic mind kicked on immediately, and she questioned why a barn owl, Latin name, Tyto alba would be sitting on a tree. As a science teacher, she’d had her students analyze owl pellets and knew that barn owls were not found in woodlands. This made her more curious and she slowly walked toward the owl hoping not to scare it. She’d always been afraid of birds one because they seemed so delicate but two because a pigeon had pooped on her head when she was eight years old. Owls had seemed to her a more regal bird and she had felt a kinship toward them. When she stared at herself in a mirror, she always thought her very round eyes made her look like an owl. She’d tell herself that owls were considered intelligent and that would dull the sting of looking like an exhausted owl early in the morning.

She ignored the out-of-place tree and moved closer to the owl. The owl turned his head toward her and looked down into her eyes. The scene took a surprising turn. He said to her, “So you’ve finally found your way here.”

She replied, “I guess I have, but why am I here.”

Yes, she was speaking to an owl but it felt right and she went along hoping maybe the owl was intelligent and could tell her something that could be important.

He responded, “You’re here because you decided it was time to come here. Tonight, you were brave enough to take a look.”

“A look at what? We’re in the dark and the dark works for you. You’re nocturnal. You hunt at night. This is your time, but for me, it’s just dark. What am I supposed to see? I thought there’d be a message here. Something to shed light on what I should do. I want to know what I should do.”

The owl stared at her intently and said, “But you know exactly what you should do. You’ve always known.”

At that instant, she felt sucked headfirst through the pasta maker rollers, and she sprang up in bed. This time she wasn’t terrified. She was calm and she recognized her room and she could see the owl perfectly in her mind’s eye. All she could think was I know what to do, and the more she said the words to herself you know what to do the words went from being a statement to a question. She contemplated the meaning behind the owl and his words. Did this owl represent intelligence and the use of her analytic mind to find her path or was he a bad omen foretelling a future of indecision?

Over the coming weeks, the travel to the owl’s world forced her to look even more deeply at herself and she hoped that the search for her path was part of her journey to a fulfilling, impactful life. She had been told life is a journey, not a destination and she hoped that was true. She hoped she’d wake up one day and the nagging feeling would be gone, but she worried it be replaced by a new nagging feeling.