Dogma

I heard Casey, the neighbor, calling for me before I even finished my breakfast. I laughed quietly to myself, but wolfed my cereal before trotting outside with biscuits to share.

We're a sleepy, small town. Time has mostly forgotten us, and we like that. More time to live in an eternal now. More time to smell the roses, among other things.

We were still deep in spilling the tea about our mutual neighbor Chloe when Zoe (no relation, trust me) came galloping up the road with fresh gossip about Max. Oooh, what he was doing with the neighbor's wife while the neighbor was taking long refreshing walks!!

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dearie me! This was too delicious to keep to ourselves! We had to tell everyone, even Chloe. She's thoughtless and scatterbrained, but this was big news! Honestly, her sneaking over into our yard to “garden” then forgetting to plant anything didn't hold a candle to this!

We had gathered the whole gossip crew from the lower section of town and were working our way to the upper when the mailman came.

The mailman! Oh, joy! First the juicy news, and now the letters, and post cards, and magazines! We sat down in the park in the middle of town to have a good read and then tell each other what we just read about. All good fun, of course. The trees are shady, the wind brings in lovely scents from the factories upwind, and there are No Squirrels.

Soon the rest of the town joined us, minus Max, because we All Knew. We were laughing and yapping with each other and sharing bits of “news” from the flyers. Political slogans are laughed at best when howled at the tops of lungs! We laughed, and someone found a stick, and we chased each other around, bits of paper whirling around like the leaves from the trees.

And, No Squirrels.

It wasn't long before the Mayor came bounding into the park, and we remembered:

TODAY'S THE DAY!!!

This has never happened before!

Sadie, the old bitch, muttered, “Of course, you're only three years old!”

Sorry, can't hear you, I'm too busy welcoming The Great One! I don't know how, of course, but that doesn't stop us.

We gathered around the monument, calling for The Great One to appear.

And it did!!!!!

The Great One appeared!!!!!

It motioned with its hands, and we fell silent, panting in anticipation.

We were packed so tightly, there was no room to swing a dead cat.

The Great One spoke: “Have you all been Very Good?”

We all yelled, “YES! YES! We have all been Very Very Good!!”

I heard Sadie whine, “Well, except Max, the shameless hussy!”

Oooooooohhhhhhh! Oh, no, she didn't!

The Great One paused. “Well. Do you want to break The Treaty?”

“Nooooooo!!! Noooooooo!!”

“Very well, then. Max, a punishment. Will you accept it, and keep the treaty?”

Max crawled forward, head down. “I do not want to, but I must.”

“Fair answer. But that means – a Trip to the Vet. And, The Cone of Shame.”

Oooooooooooohh Nooooooooo! It was a chorus of howls, but better Max than us. Max was Bad. Max deserved punishment. But we were Good, and wanted to keep the Treaty!

The Great One produced a rope, and tied it to Max. Oh, he looked so ashamed.

“Now, to the rest of you – you have been VERY GOOD! Enjoy your rewards!”

Yaaaaaayyyyyy!! “We want the Treat-y! We want the Treat-y!”

And they appeared!

Treats rained from the sky! We ate, and ate, and ate the treats, and they were so good!!! And we ate and ate, and we didn't get sick, and ate some more!

Sooooooo goooooooooodd!

“I wish there were squirrels,” muttered Casey.

The Great One chuckled; it had heard. “We forbid squirrels for the same reason we forbid cats. You get too excited, you would forget, and you would chase and chase and chase. And they would run across a road, and you would follow, and you would die. That is Not Good, and you are all very, very Good. Except Max, who has been Naughty. We can fix that.”

Yaaaaaaaaayyyyy!

“So, enjoy, and I will see you in a year-”

“Seven years,” whined Sadie, the bitch.

I would have snapped at her, or worried about The Great One vanishing with Max, but there was a pond to drink from, and ooh there goes a leaf on the wind, I'm-a gonna chase it!!

Woof, what a day!