Fiction logo

Dick Dodgers

Beginning of a humorous adult sci fi detective story...

By Andrew C McDonaldPublished 4 months ago Updated 4 months ago 3 min read
Top Story - May 2023

Dick Dodgers SFPI

(Space Faring Paranormal Investigator) & the Case of the Orgasmic Organism:

Chapter 1: Corpus Erecti

“Yeah, that’s what I call a stiff alright,” the detective said as the young coroner pulled back the sheet. “So, how many so far?”

“Five this week so far. Six last week.” Reaching down the doctor pushed a button on the slot next to the one the fresh cadaver lay on. Another metallic tray silently slid out. On it was another sheet bedecked corpse. Midway down the covered body the sheet had a rather significant bulge. The area around the protrusion had a large circular damp spot.

“Wow. I haven’t tented a sheet that well since I was sixteen.”

“Yeah. These guys seem to be having wet dreams up to four or five days after death. This guy kicked it last Eightday.”

“Shit! Any idea what’s causing this?” the detective queried.

“The doctors are calling it the,” making finger quotes, “Orgasmic Organism.”

The grizzled detective let out a small “hmph” as his mouth quirked in an almost smile.

“Let’s see,” the white coated doctor said, riffling through the papers on his clipboard. “We don’t have a lot of information yet, but it appears to be ingested orally. No pun intended,” he said, looking up with a half grin. “The organism, once ingested, takes up residence in the patient’s testicles.”

“No women patients at all?”

“No. This organism seems to affect only males. As I was saying, it takes up residence in the testicles…” The doctor, donning surgical gloves, pushed aside the mostly still erect penis and gently cupped the deceased man’s testicles in the palm of one hand. The testicles appeared to the detective to be swollen to about half again what would seem to be normal. “Once ensconced in the testicles it causes sperm count to multiply exponentially.”

As the detective leaned over to look closer the doctor gave the deceased’s testicles a gentle squeeze. A white substance oozed out of the opening at the tip of the penis. “Crap!” The detective pulled back as the doctor laughed. “Kind of like playing squeeze the bulb on a fake flower,” the doctor said, chuckling.

“Yeah. Great gag doc. So, this could be a fantastic fertility drug. I know some guys would give their eye teeth for it.” The detective removed his plastsheen jacket and set it on the back of a faux-leather chair reminiscent of those from 20th century earth.

Rolling his eyes, the doctor turned back to the cadaver. “Maybe so, except that it causes uncontrolled erections and almost continuous ejaculation lasting for days until the patient dies of dehydration and/or exhaustion.”

“Wow. Pop off until you pop off, huh? Now that’s severe priapism.”

Letting out a laugh, the doctor released the swollen scrotum and removed the gloves, tossing them into a hole in the chromeen counter. A small electrical flash indicated their instant incineration.

“Any cure doc?”

“Nothing short of castration, or at least gelding I’m afraid.”

“Well damn. Guess it’s time to call Dick Dodgers.”


Chapter 2 :


Stay tuned for further installments. If you enjoy my writing, check out my author page at

Thanks for reading. :-)

Short Story

About the Creator

Andrew C McDonald

Andrew McDonald is a 911 dispatcher of 30 yrs with a B.S. in Math (1985). He served as an Army officer 1985 to 1992, honorably exiting a captain. Check out his novels “Punishment and Good Deeds” and “The Killing Keys” at Amazon kindle.

Reader insights


Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  2. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  3. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  4. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  5. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

Add your insights

Comments (11)

Sign in to comment
  • Alex H Mittelman 3 months ago

    Hilarious! This is great!

  • Hahaha! Oh man, already from the subtitle I was hooked. It had that "Well I HAVE to see what this is about!" Did not disappoint, you packed a lot of good laughs in there for such a short read! And it felt truly like the start to a good detective novel... and with the sci-fi elements, I'm hooked!

  • Lol, this was hilarious! Congratulations on your Top Story! I've subscribed to you!

  • Brenton F4 months ago

    Well done on the TS mate!

  • L.C. Schäfer4 months ago

    Paint me juvenile, but I laughed from the title right to the end 😁

  • Dana Stewart4 months ago

    Fun story!

  • Melissa Ingoldsby4 months ago

    Haha 😂 this was clever and fun 🤩 love it

  • Mohammed Darasi4 months ago

    🤣🤣🤣.. great ending. A very funny story

  • Kendall Defoe 4 months ago

    I may need to read more...for artistic purposes... 👽 🧻

  • Brenton F4 months ago

    LOL! And I thought Alien Sex Fiend was just a good band name! I can see this going mirthful places and hopefully none of them nice!

Find us on social media

Miscellaneous links

  • Explore
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Support

© 2023 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.