Descent

There I perched, heart tight and fists fluttering. Across the dimly lit and heavily scented room, a guide sat, their voice set and primed.

"Are you ready to descend?"

I wasn't. I didn't want to dive into anything that had to do with my heart, soul, or "mind space". There was no peace to be found within. Only smoke, fumes, and volcanic ash.

I nodded, a short, curt movement of my chin. I was sure my knuckles were going to bust.

"Then let's begin. Take a deep breath, and close your eyes."

I reluctantly closed my eyes and found the darkness. I remember what that used to be like; relief and calm, a way to escape for a few moments into a less chaotic space. Now it's a reminder of the beast I am up against and the fear that entraps me whenever I'm alone in the dark.

"I want you to imagine yourself descending a set of stairs. Tell me what they look like?"

Smoke invades my nostrils, but I focus, painting a set of stairs with the ashfall. Soot and gray matter splatter on the black canvas, bringing some order to an otherwise over-colored world. It's messy, but it's mine.

Sleek edges and lines appear. Walls build up on either side, browning under an old, flickering lightbulb. A rickety floor assembles with little fanfare, leading down, down, down into the insufferable and inescapable shadow.

My heart struggles against my sternum. It's too dark, too cramped.

"I...I don't know what I see."

"Focus on the stairs. Are they wooden? Carpeted? Is there a railing or walls?"

I turn my eyes away from that abyss, focusing on the barely stable stairs I just constructed. I think back to happier times when shadows only held mysteries, not monsters.

Slowly, a blue-grey carpet carefully unfurls on the steps, and the walls color in with old, blue Victorian wallpaper. Little rosary designs brighten the room and the darkness begins to wane.

"There's a plush carpet," I say. "The walls resemble my grandmother's house from when I was a child."

"Good, good! Try descending the stairs now, one at a time. Let your mind and body relax with every step downwards."

I did just that, letting my toes sink into every step with purpose. Every step downwards felt like a small release, like I was shedding old skin, my dull scales dissolving into the now peaceful atmosphere.

The carpet pushed up between my toes, calming my heart rate further to an almost normal pace. The darkness cleared as I descended until I could see the end.

"Now I want you to imagine a door-"

"I see it !" I said, my voice still quiet despite the excitement igniting my nerves.

Yes, there was the door that had appeared without much thought. It was wooden, the tree rings creating a hypnotizing effect on its surface. I walked forward into the space before the door, my hand reaching out to grip the cold metal handle.

"Now what?" I whispered.

"Complete the descension. Only you know what lies on the other side."

I do?

"I do?" I echoed, my eyelids fluttering. I wanted so badly to open them and see the guide's face.

A warm hand covered my own. "This is the space that you go to whenever the world is too much to bear. It lives deeper than your dreams. It is a part of you."

I breathed in deep, focusing on that idea; a place I went to when the world was too much. A place of peace, and endless possibility...

In my mind's eye, I opened the wooden door.

Light from a winter sun flooded my eyes, blinding me. Then, the sounds of gentle waves and whistling winds filled my bones, and the smell of mountain pines, old snow, and a damp, early spring storm curled into my nostrils like a welcome friend.

I took a few stumbling steps forward, my feet precariously balancing on many small stones. Adjusting myself came naturally, and I was able to open my eyelids once more.

All breath left my body at the sight.

A large circular lake rippled in the sun, the shore around it covered in dark, colorful pebbles. Beyond them, large boulders broke into a treeline made up of towering pines that only grew taller as I looked further up the slopes. Piles of snow still lingered beneath their shadows, interrupted by vibrant sprouts of green grass. Framing this all was a wall of majestic, snow-capped mountains; circling the lake into a wide valley.

I knew this place. I knew it better than my own hometown. I was its creator after all.

"What do you see?"

I smiled, moisture gathering in the corners of my eyes as I opened them to the real world, the memory of the mountainous valley lingering.

"Home."

____________

Author's Note:

SHHH, I KNOW THIS IS LATE.

This story has been sitting in my drafts since the summer. I'm not quite sure what prevented me from finishing it. I would add to it, delete a sentence or two, and do it over again. I think it was because of the dream state challenge's prompt, which was to write a fantasy story about a dream you had recently...but here's the thing, I haven't had a dream I could remember in YEARS. ( or at least one I would want to write about in this challenge. )

So instead I did a little cheat. I used a session of therapy as inspiration! Essentially, in this therapy session, I was led to "daydream" about a place that made me feel peaceful and happy. ( This is a VERY dumbed-down version of what went on, mind you. )

Here instead, I used a mysterious "guide" instead of a therapist, and I didn't include any hint as to where this was taking place and let the reader fill in the blanks. Is it a fantasy story? It is and isn't. There really aren't any glaring fantasy elements, but that is up to the reader to decide.

In the end, I didn't want to include anything too fantastical, as I wanted readers to feel grounded in the moment with the character as they descended into their dark mind space and then slowly rebuilt it into their own "happy place".

As for the valley, that is what I saw during my own "descent" in my therapy session, and it is one of the main settings for my FATE OF FIRE book series universe. ( Unpublished, don't get too excited lol ).

Huge thanks to Ian Read for encouraging me to publish this anyway despite it being October ( and for challenging me in the first place ), and of course a lovely shout to Oneg in the Artic for putting out a very fun and exciting list of prompts and challenges. If you need some inspiration, go check it out!!

Oneg's Challenges:

Ian Read's Piece: