Deliver Me From Chocolate

Bruce Bogtrotter was a decidedly large man, the result of a childhood filled with trauma and the guilty pleasure derived from that. He was also Lexi’s first client of the day.

The Little Shop of Magic has been surprising successful considering its location: an old barn in a small town. Lexi’s newfound abilities had been incredibly helpful even if she was still trying to get the hang of them. For instance, she knew that Bruce’s problem is chocolate. She didn’t know how she knew it or why chocolate was an issue for this man, but she knew she’d be dealing with chocolate today.

As Bruce waddled to the front to the shop, Lexi noticed he seemed a bit grey in the face, his nervousness palpable even from outside. He pushed open and sidled through the door diagonally, purely from habit as Lexi had taken care to widen the door before he arrived.

“Welcome to the Little Shop of Magic!” She called from across the room. “I’m Lexi. I believe we spoke on the phone.”

He nodded, wringing his hands together. “I’m not exactly sure how this works.”

She motioned towards one of the side doors. “First, we’ll go in there to talk. It’s private— soundproof actually— so we can discuss what you’re hoping for and how we can make that happen. The consultation is $50, which you’ve already taken care of. If there’s an additional charge for services, we’ll discuss that as well.” Before he could speak, she continued. “It’s rare, but worth mentioning so everything is clear.”

In the side room was an empty desk, a chair, and a red velvet chaise lounge. It could just as easily be a therapist’s office, which Lexi sometimes felt like she was.

Oh no. What if I break it.

Lexi couldn’t help but hear the thought and jumped into action. “May I be totally frank with you, Mr. Bogtrotter?”

He was staring at the chaise while wringing his hands together again, but he slowly nodded.

She continued. “This is a safe space. You don’t have to worry about judgment or anything breaking.”

Bruce chuckled. “So you read minds too?”

“Apparently,” she replied under her breath, leaning against the desk. This was all still very new to her and Stefan, her demonic assistant, wasn’t here for her to ask. “So what are you hoping to get today?”

Bruce gingerly sat on the chaise, testing to see if it would support him. Once he was satisfied with the lack of creaking, he leaned back and put up his feet. It was a level of comfort he hadn’t experienced in a long while. “So I’ve been exercising and trying to diet, but I just can’t lose weight.”

Lexi nodded silently, anticipating where this may be going.

“You see, I just can’t resist chocolate. I never could and suspect I never will be able to resist it. I was even on a medication once that had a side effect of making chocolate taste bad. That wasn’t one of the side effects I got though.”

“So you want to be able to resist chocolate?”

Bruce shook his head. “No. I want to not like it at all. I shouldn’t like it! My headmistress in elementary school, The Trunchbull, she made me eat an entire chocolate cake in front of the entire school.”

Lexi gasped. “That sounds terrible.” She walked around the room a moment, considering the options. “It sounds like your ultimate goal is to lose weight. We’re talking about magic here. I could make you lose weight without having to give up chocolate.”

“Absolutely not! I’m 43 years old. I’m not a child. I can put in the work if I wasn’t held back by this childish obsession with chocolate.”

“Very well. We can make you no longer like chocolate. Have you ever been hypnotized before?”

“Oh, dash it all!” He sat up quickly, planting his feet on the floor to face her directly. “Hypnosis doesn’t work. I’ve tried it three times!”

Lexi put a hand on his shoulder. “I was only asking because this is going to be similar.” She gently nudged him into lying back again. “Now sleep.”

Bruce’s head immediately fell backwards. He’s a snorer.

Lexi went back into the main room. The magic seemed to work more freely when she wasn’t in the room. That’s why there was now a table with a giant chocolate cake, plates, and forks. She cut two large pieces and put them on the plates before heading back to the side room. “Bruce.” She nudged him awake.

“How long was I asleep?”

“Just a few minutes. I took a few liberties with how this works. We can test it out now, if you’ll follow me.”

Once in the main room, Bruce gasped. “This looks exactly like the cake my headmistress made me eat! How’d you know?”

Lexi shrugged. “Magic has its ways.” She passed a plate to him. “Don’t forget what we’re doing though. Small bite.”

He immediately frowned once the cake was in his mouth. “This isn’t right.”

Lexi swallowed her bite and smiled. “Tastes good to me, which is great news! It means that it worked!” She placed her plate on the table. “Now, there’s a little trick I included. There may be a time when you need to eat chocolate, such as a child’s birthday party where the mother made the cake and not eating a piece would be rude. That’s when chocolate would taste normal to you.” She pointed at his plate. “I insist you try the cake again.”

After some hesitation, he obliged her and moaned once the cake was in his mouth. “It’s just as good as I remember.” Tears were welling up in his eyes as he passed the plate to Lexi. “Thank you so much!”

Lexi took his arm as she walked him to the door. “Anytime! If you need anything else, just let me know.”

She sighed as she watched him drive away. Being the Antichrist, despite the name, certainly had its perks.