Corpusboreding
Definition: Becoming so bored at work that you have to stir up something of interest before you die from corporate rigor mortis
Our job is akin to nits on a hot and hairy scalp, farming ideas like dandruff. It is not good for our health; we tend to cough a lot, you know, with all the dust.
For example, today, there was a moment when we thought Geoff was about to shatter the earth. He spoke for five nail-biting minutes on the topic of mitochondria... or was it hypochondria? We remain unsure, but we all commend ourselves for surviving the ride.
That said, at lunch, Geoff strode into his own. Upon finding insufficient spoons in the canteen for us to enjoy our desserts, he became remarkably forthright with a dazzlingly eloquent display of indignation. The whole team were agog. None of us had realised how subjugating a lack of spoons truly was.
HR climbed out of their ivory tower just at the point Geoff compared the insufficient supply of spoons with slavery. They said that all the "noise" could easily have been avoided if only somebody had "reached out" sooner. Well, watching Geoff in receipt of their disinfected terminology was frankly glorious. He rose like a Ronin on a quest, his sights set on the pinnacle of their tower.
I doubt HR had that sort of reaching out in mind.
Ah well, tomorrow I shall bring back all the spoons that I have absently taken home. What shall I stir up next? Perhaps I could start a riot with a lack of cups...
***
Author's Note:
Anybody from my place of work reading this, please note that although we always have a shortage of cups, I am not the perpetrator of the problem, and this is fiction. That said, I should, in the same breath, thank my beloved team for the inspiration!
About the Creator
Caroline Jane
Warm-blooded vertebrate, domesticated with a preference for the wild. Howls at the moon and forages on the dark side of it. Laughs like a hyena. Fuelled by good times and fairy dust. Writes obsessively with no holes barred.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insight
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Comments (17)
I think we all have met a few Geoffs along the way. Mischievous and funny.
You are such a mischief maker π. Back to congratulate you for your success in this challenge π€ x
Wooohooooo congratulations to you!!!
Masterfully done! Fun to read!
Yay! Congrats
Sweeet!!! Congratulations on the Runner up Win!!!
Fantastic, ππ, uh, was that one or two spoons of sugar, ππ, probably none, this is as seeet as it needs to be ππ
Love it π₯°
Love this! The narrator stirred up all the drama undetected. Poor Geoff. Heβd had all he could take LOL.
Yeah, what is it about spoons at work. There are always a dozen knives and forks, but spoons, especially teaspoons. Fun read.
Great word, and probable Top Story. I had an idea for one today but I have become bored with this challenge lol, so no more from me
Workplaces! Bah humbug. Love em and not love em. Dead work. Great fun.
Hahahahahahahahahahah he compared that to slavery! Dramatic much? π€£π€£π€£π€£ Gosh your story was hilarious!
I'm with you on the spoon-gate mission. Let's see what happens with the cup conspiracy! βπ
Haha. This is great. Do it! Steal the spoons.
So-c ~ Ah, lunchroom humor: When in the military we carried our own 'Canteens'..! 'j'
Crying laughing! #spoongate Loved it! And TBF you've rather endeared me to Geoff! I want one in my office!